private plays symphonies with no words .. lichentail

[hazecloud]

A sunken heart had weighed heavy in her chest. The search for a certain pointed molly had begun well before her paws finally set out to tear the plains into pieces for her. Lichentail wasn't as easy of a solid find like Rookfang had been. The spiky-furred tom didn't move very fast, typically remaining in one place for thoroughness before moving on. It helped that his tired gait didn't have her truly chasing him down.

While the Lead wasn't among the names Smokethroat had listed in their losses (and surely he would not leave out the loss of his own team), seeing not a single trace of her had sent a spark of anxiety through her chest. Not for any particular reason other than the realization of how she could hardly bear the distance put between them. Hazecloud had realized far too late the comforts she found in just sharing a home with her. Building that home together, even if they weren't on speaking terms.

When her thoughts often trailed back to home they were always joined with memories or hopeful future endeavors with Lichentail. Recalling where Rookfang had overstepped, without thought she compared it to how the molly had treated her when they were still together. If anything Lichentail pushed her to do more, to be more bold, to find better purpose. Now she had, and now she realized just how dumb of a lover she had been.

The trail ahead of her is leading back down a familiar path. It doesn't look the same as before, though, now with frost caressing the wilted, brittle growth. What used to be overgrown green now decayed into thin wisps, old memories of summer blooms and sweet breezes. There she found the figure she sought. Not even the fatigue of countless days travel kept her paws against the ground, lifting up into a bound to cut the distance between them and nearly colliding into the others lanky body. Hazecloud wanted to jump into an embrace- Hazecloud did jump into embracing Lichentail without a blink of hesitation.

"You're alive!" Relief washed over her voice. "I'm so sorry- I'm sorry it took me a dumb mountain to realize it." The tears she held back when facing Rookfang were no match when she looked up into the others gaze. Searching for recognition in the words that spilled like her weeping eyes without thought.

"I prayed every single night to come back home to you. Every single moment I thought would be my last, I thought of you. I... I won't go another day hiding the truth. There's no one else, Lichentail. My heart is yours till the end of time, it always was." Hazecloud pressed her muzzle against the fur on her chest. "I want to be that mate that you deserve. I want to love you, loudly and without anything to hide. Will you..." She felt the momentum of her excitement begin to falter as the doubt set in- I can't stop now!

"Will you love me again?"

-- @lichentail ​

 

[lichenstar]

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The dying meadow felt like a sign... she was no medicine cat, could not read them, would not be gifted any omen or words of reassurance but it had been too long... surely. Over a month had passed, the clans had been displaced and fought like hell to get back to what was theirs. Cats had died... so so many had died. So why wouldn't they also be dead... reasonably? StarClan had asked them to send brave warriors away and had tricked them, punished them with torments they could only barely endure. What some of them hadn't... been able to endure.

She can still taste the river-salted curls of her leader on her tongue.

Sitting amongst the dead flowers, memories flickered in and out of focus as if she were dead too. A ghost, waltzing among the daises as a final farewell.

RiverClan had died, in a way... they were reborn as if gifted their own nine lives but clearly, those were fickle things to be lost in an instant. How much longer could they afford to be shoved around? Lichentail didn't know... And with a souring thought, she wasn't sure she had any more energy left to spare. Hunger had taken its toll a long time ago now, evident in the way her ribs were cradled by tight, gaunt skin. And with no small amount of bruising and half-healed scratches, it was a wonder to call her a cat in appearance.

So lost in her own world of regrets and premature sorrows, the sound of mountain-dusted paws eludes her ear. The crash of weight against her feels like dying... so juxtaposed to the softness of the fur that she felt rolling into her arms. Drawing in a gasp, what would've been used as a cry for help becomes suffocated by familiarity.

Unwillingly her eyes water, overcome by the relief that scent carries with it. I've been thinking about you, she squeezes tightly, scared that letting go might mean this joyous hallucination might escape her. Could you still hear me... from so far away? Her claws dig between tender plumes of fur, not meaning for such intensity and only realizing her overzealousness when skin meets their ends. "You're alive!" And she says it like Lichentail was the one that had disappeared to unknown lands instead. Her mouth doesn't move to agree or say her name or argue that it was the other who is more surprisingly breathing, suffocating on the first comfort she'd felt in so long.

She rambles on quickly, speaking of the mountains and though the blue point thinks about cutting in to ask what she's talking about, she remains silent, staring in breathless awe that it's really her. She's really here. "i prayed every single night to come back home to you."

To me?

Lichentail is no stranger to the complicated web that had driven them from each other once but... nothing had really changed. Right? She was still the girl Hazecloud's parents didn't need to know about, the one they shouldn't be told about for fear of the earthquake it might create in her family. And like a stubborn, selfish fool... she didn't want to be hidden again. Her ears flatten, already afraid of the confrontation to come again, the stumbling rejection she'd have to remind Hazecloud of. Oh, how it would ruin this moment...

This moment she didn't want to let go of. Maybe... just for a little while it could be okay... to pretend she wasn't something the smoky molly was ashamed of. And like a beautiful songbird she sings so sweetly... sings of final moments and regrets untold... hums her melody of the truth of her realization. And Lichentail so greedily wants to take the heart that belongs to her but not if-

"... Loudly... and without anything to hide."

"You silly molly..." her voice breaks in spite of the smile she wears on her face. "What's a... big... beautiful waterfall like you doing asking a stupid little fish to love her?" Relishing in the grin that stares at her, that buries itself comfortably among the scruffy mess of fur at her chest, she knows she's bound to set fire to the sweet confession by sheer charismatic incompetence... She would try... Try to find words for her that would be enough--

"Did you know... you hold the warmth of the sun in that smile? And I would spend a hundred cold nights alone if it meant I got to bask in it one more time..." It feels so cheesy... so unnatural to articulate... They'd been close like this once so why did this feel new? Why did the romantic gushing from their youth not find her now when it mattered more? "I would've waited my whole life if I had to..." She'd taken too long to realize it, a conversation with Ripplesnap having tipped the scales, "Hazecloud.... Asking me to love you again is like asking the stars to keep shining-- they never stopped. And neither did I."

The hollowness of tired, aching bones and hunger-addled belly are forgotten, filled by the feathery pelt of a love returned against all odds. And in her confessing she finds a panic still rising in her chest- how stupid she'd been found out here instead of there to greet her the moment she'd come home? And to not even have the stone... "I... I still have that gift... like I promised." The only problem was... she'd kind of hidden it just inside the entrance to Ravensong's den as they'd been ready to flee.... "I-it's dumb though... we can get it later.."​

 

[hazecloud]

Perhaps she should have been more mindful of the struggles presented within the mollys cadaverous frame. As Lichentail practically collapsed underneath the smaller cats collision she felt her heart skip in a brush of fear that she might hurt her from the crash, only to feel the prick of claws that dug underneath the tangles of her fur.

Does she think I'll float away?

A bloom of warmth hugged her as Lichentail's voice finally spoke through and she can nearly forget about the threatening pressure to break against flesh. A smile mirrored her own, crystal blue turning murky and Hazecloud knew that the moment one of them began to cry the other was sure to follow. She could feel the rapid beats of a fluttering bird behind Lichentail's chest. It delighted her, the moment to be so close again. It had been far too many moons ago that they kept such proximity, and she couldn't even bear the thought of denying themselves the temptation to remain like this until the moon rose above them.

The beaming glow of joy slightly wavered for a split second at Lichentail's attempted poetry.

"I'm... big?" It's said in the softest murmur.

But as she powered through them and continued on she felt weightless. Her heart feather-light in his chest. Maybe she would float away, she wondered if the passion they shared would send her very soul to the stars in euphoria. It was happening, truly her wish for their love to return was coming true.

"Hazecloud.... Asking me to love you again is like asking the stars to keep shining-- they never stopped. And neither did I."

A white-pointed muzzle buried itself into scruffy pale fur to muffle the bashful squealing. Unable to be contained. Heat flushed to her face in a woven blend of blushing affections and overwhelming drive to pour her hearts content of love. The need to express the limitless joy in shrilling subsided and she tilted her head up- a gift? Oh, right, she had promised something like that upon her return, hadn't she? So much had happened since that night, when she parted ways with cats from every Clan. Hazecloud had thought of returning something back home herself, the purple blossoms they had found growing in the snow especially. But they couldn't waste anything in place of the lungwort.

"I want to stay like this a bit longer." It's not said as if Lichentail had a choice to agree or not. Her tongue rasped over the mollys fur in affectionate strokes and she sank further into their comforting embrace, "I wasted so much time being so stubborn. We could have had so many more sunsets shared... I want a family with you, Lichentail. I want us to have a future together." Sharing such desires had sent her heart fluttering all over again, making her feel breathless. Why wait any longer? If the both of them had truly never stopped loving each other, why not take their love a step further?​

 

[lichenstar]

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Eloquent as ever, Lichentail knows herself to be a fool with words, ever stuck in a monotonous loop of ill-timing or expertly woven idiocies. Big... was generally not a flattering word for the girl you wished to steal the heart of... and Hazecloud had picked up on it easily. Mortified by her own misstep, the molly cannot help but be stammering an apology, "N-no that's! Not what I meant I... I meant it only as a compliment because you mean so much to me and I've been waiting so long for this moment. I didn't even think it'd happen and--" They are a tangle of words hardly given a breath between them, exasperated and fearful of the very real possibility that Hazecloud's fickle heart might flicker out that quickly.

But no harsh swat to her head comes... no glowering frown and 'harrumph' of anger. Her nose buries itself in aching ribs but the warmth of the pain stings sweetly with the hot flush of a flustered heart like partners in a roaring dance of flame. It seems her gift isn't at the top of the ashy-furred heroine's agenda either, nestled comfortably in mist-dipped forelimbs and shadow-faced purrs.

Sharing a few idle licks to the top of a wispy-furred head, it felt like they'd hardly spent any time apart at all. Like the Great Battle hadn't left them to stand on opposites side of a canyon and stare across at what they'd lost...

"I wasted so much time being so stubborn." And as much as she longed to say "Yeah, you're right," she was certain it would get that pearly-toothed smile dug into her throat for good measure. Struggling not to bring up the bitter agreement to such observations, Lichentail opted to sink her grip in a little tighter only to become aware of the dense rebuke of skin under-claw.

Relinquishing her possessive grip quickly, the point felt a hollow embarrassment in the pit of her stomach. Had she even the capacity to return to normal? Would she always hold Hazecloud that tight, like clinging to the last fish of the season... Like she was starving for her? Like some sort of ugly monster whose hunger couldn't be satiated after months of-

A family?

Summer sky eyes flick nervously towards the pile of fur cuddled up close to her; kittens? Now? Her insistence, her impatience.. it's heavy in her voice and her eyes shine with a forgotten excitement. Had she ever really wanted that? Lichentail thinks briefly.. of a childhood spent as a regret rather than a gift. Would being born in RiverClan create that nebulous hell too..? The fears grew in her belly as her eyes drifted skyward to think, aware of the soft vibrations of a purr leaning against her.

She would be the mistake. They would be given such a doting, sweet mother and.. whatever kind of mess of a she-cat the blue point struggled at being. Would that be good enough? Would she be able to make up for one pair of missing paws from hunting patrols...? Would she have enough time outside of helping to re-establish RiverClan to be available to them? So many chances to ruin it... so many times she could see herself misstep, like she always did-

But her eyes find that easy-going smile again... and her will to say no melts. How could she possibly deny the way the sun shines upon her when it is so plain to see?

"StarClan count them blessed- they'll get all their brains from you if they're lucky."​