- Sep 21, 2022
- 232
- 22
- 18
Frostbite needed time. It was late at night when he left the tunnel, unable to handle so much company. They were all too close. No privacy. He needed to get out. So he quietly left his sleeping clanmates and strode along the thunderpath to the edge of the territory. It was at the treeline that he stopped, pressed against a pine and allowed himself to weep. The tears fell easily, and he wasn't strong enough to hold them back even if he tried. Loss was new to him. Before, he never had anyone to lose.
He felt like his heart had bit ripped out and shredded.
But he was not alone out here, no. A step was taken, and he quickly lifted his head for the owner of the sound. There in the distance a figure stood, moonlight shining on her think white pelt giving her a graceful, yet eerie sheen. Their gazes met, and something about the stranger.....Seemed familiar.
It was a near welcome distraction. Curiosity brought him to his paws and carried him onward. As the distance between them closed, he saw her eyes light up in recognition. Looking upon the molly in front of him..... There was no doubt.
His mother. His real mother.
They looked just like each other. He had her eyes, her beautiful coat. Her size. There was no doubt it was her. Even if he had no memory of her, it was blatantly obvious who she was. That, coupled with a long forgotten familiar scent left him without a doubt.
He didn't need this right now.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. A step forward as if towards a loved one. He narrowed his eyes and flattened his ears, and she brought her paw back.
"My son...." The words choked out as she fought back tears. "My baby...."
"Don't give me that." Frostbite snapped. "I know who you are. I don't care." He continued, beginning to circle her. He did not care for the hurt in her eyes as she followed him with her gaze.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I never-"
A laugh escaped Frostbite's throat. Malicious laughter upon hearing words that he hated to hear. "Sorry? You think it matters? I know the story. The wretched she cat you left me with told me all about it moons ago. I thought she was lying, of course. But now that you're here? I can see that it was quite true." He went on. After a full circle around her, he stopped in front of her again.
"You abandoned me. You left me with someone incapable of even caring for me. Shows how much you really cared." He spat.
He watched tears form in her eyes. He felt no pity for her, only anger and frustration. She blinked away her tears and looked away from him for a moment, taking a shaky breath before looking back to him.
"Frost.....Please listen to me..." She pleaded. "I never wanted to give you up- I'm sorry the molly I left you with was unfit. I didn't have the luxury of time-"
"I don't want to hear it." Frostbite hissed, ears flatting and fur bristling upon being called the name he had traveled with for so long before Shadowclan. "It's all YOUR FAULT, ANYWAYS." He snapped. If what he was told was true, she was disloyal to her mate and sought his brother instead.
"I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT!!" She shouted back, taking him by surprise. "IT IS ALL. MY. FAULT. I NEVER WANTED- I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN." She continued. "My mate- My king- He wasn't a good cat, Frost... I couldn't bare the thought of having his heirs...." Her voice took a disgusted tone when she spoke again. "Heirs with a cat who saw that as my only purpose."
Frostbite clenched his jaw as she explained. He didn't want to sympathize with her. He wanted to hate her. She abandoned him and left him with the she cat who neglected and abandoned him- it's all her fault. And yet when he looked into eyes as blue as a frosty winter morning, the sincerity that shone in them prevented him from doing so.
"But his brother was kind and compassionate....Gentle, but strong enough to take on an army." She spoke of her mate with such potent love and grief, Frostbite couldn't deny her love, or her truth.
"I know the story. You don't need to repeat it." He said, cutting her off. "You still andoned me."
"I couldn't keep you.... You and your siblings....Hail was going to have us all killed. When I escaped, Frost.... I gave birth to you about two days later." She explained. "Cats were out looking for me with the order to kill on sight... To kill you on sight."
"THATS ENOUGH." Frostbite snapped. He wants to hate her like he had been all this time. It's easier that way. He doesn't want to listen to her. He trembled with an emotion he couldn't decipher. Rage? Grief? Sorrow? He couldn't tell what it was. "Whatever happened, I'm not ready to forgive you. I have been alone my entire life. I had to trail a pack of WOLVES to survive. Do you know how hard that is?" He continued, voice wavering. "And wouldn't you know, when I found someone who I thought loved me, they tossed me aside after a few moons or so? That was the point- The point at which I figured maybe I wasn't meant to be loved. Maybe I'm just meant to be someone else's burden. Something to be discarded. And it made sense!"
His features softened as he looked at her with widened tearful eyes. "I fought in a battle. I killed cats. I felt nothing. My coat was stained red with the blood of my enemies, and I didn't even feel a victory rush. All I felt was emptiness. There is nothing left inside me to love."
"That's not true, Frost...." His mother said, stepping closer. Frostbite almost wanted to push her away.
"I lost somebody dear to me. A young she cat who I was in charge of training. She was doing so well.... I was so proud of her." He continued. "Her mother was never impressed with her. Just like the foxhearted slime I lived with. No matter what she did, that molly was never happy. So...I tried to be there for her. I wanted her to have what I never had." He said. He watched his mother's ears fall and her mouth bend into a frown.
"A bear got her. It's my fault. I stopped to help someone else, and I was too late to help her. I'm not meant to be close to anyone." He finished. "Find one of my siblings to apologize to. I'm not worth it."
"You stop that. You are absolutely worth it." Her voice became a hint more stern, and Frostbite nearly drew back. "You are my son. No matter how empty or worthless you think you are, you are not to me. I've finally found you after all these moons.... I won't let go so easily again." She rested her head on his, drawing Frostbite close to her. He froze, unable to process to gesture of affection being shown. It was always hard for him.
"You can't join me..... You won't be allowed in." Frostbite said.
"I don't need to join your colony. I'll simply always be near."
"You'll get chased off."
"I'm quick. I was one of the best soldiers in Hail's army before he made me queen."
Frostbite pulled away and looked at her quietly for a moment. "There's a barn across the thunderpath...You could stay there."
Shaking her head, his mother gently rasped her tongue on his head. "I don't need to."
"Then....Then just stay safe." Frostbite said, backing away. "I have to go now." He added. He needed to sleep. This was all so much to deal with and he didn't have the energy or mental fortitude to do so. "What... Is your name?"
She gave him a warm smile as she let him go, rising to her own feet. "My name is Blossom."
He felt like his heart had bit ripped out and shredded.
But he was not alone out here, no. A step was taken, and he quickly lifted his head for the owner of the sound. There in the distance a figure stood, moonlight shining on her think white pelt giving her a graceful, yet eerie sheen. Their gazes met, and something about the stranger.....Seemed familiar.
It was a near welcome distraction. Curiosity brought him to his paws and carried him onward. As the distance between them closed, he saw her eyes light up in recognition. Looking upon the molly in front of him..... There was no doubt.
His mother. His real mother.
They looked just like each other. He had her eyes, her beautiful coat. Her size. There was no doubt it was her. Even if he had no memory of her, it was blatantly obvious who she was. That, coupled with a long forgotten familiar scent left him without a doubt.
He didn't need this right now.
She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. A step forward as if towards a loved one. He narrowed his eyes and flattened his ears, and she brought her paw back.
"My son...." The words choked out as she fought back tears. "My baby...."
"Don't give me that." Frostbite snapped. "I know who you are. I don't care." He continued, beginning to circle her. He did not care for the hurt in her eyes as she followed him with her gaze.
"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I never-"
A laugh escaped Frostbite's throat. Malicious laughter upon hearing words that he hated to hear. "Sorry? You think it matters? I know the story. The wretched she cat you left me with told me all about it moons ago. I thought she was lying, of course. But now that you're here? I can see that it was quite true." He went on. After a full circle around her, he stopped in front of her again.
"You abandoned me. You left me with someone incapable of even caring for me. Shows how much you really cared." He spat.
He watched tears form in her eyes. He felt no pity for her, only anger and frustration. She blinked away her tears and looked away from him for a moment, taking a shaky breath before looking back to him.
"Frost.....Please listen to me..." She pleaded. "I never wanted to give you up- I'm sorry the molly I left you with was unfit. I didn't have the luxury of time-"
"I don't want to hear it." Frostbite hissed, ears flatting and fur bristling upon being called the name he had traveled with for so long before Shadowclan. "It's all YOUR FAULT, ANYWAYS." He snapped. If what he was told was true, she was disloyal to her mate and sought his brother instead.
"I KNOW IT'S MY FAULT!!" She shouted back, taking him by surprise. "IT IS ALL. MY. FAULT. I NEVER WANTED- I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN." She continued. "My mate- My king- He wasn't a good cat, Frost... I couldn't bare the thought of having his heirs...." Her voice took a disgusted tone when she spoke again. "Heirs with a cat who saw that as my only purpose."
Frostbite clenched his jaw as she explained. He didn't want to sympathize with her. He wanted to hate her. She abandoned him and left him with the she cat who neglected and abandoned him- it's all her fault. And yet when he looked into eyes as blue as a frosty winter morning, the sincerity that shone in them prevented him from doing so.
"But his brother was kind and compassionate....Gentle, but strong enough to take on an army." She spoke of her mate with such potent love and grief, Frostbite couldn't deny her love, or her truth.
"I know the story. You don't need to repeat it." He said, cutting her off. "You still andoned me."
"I couldn't keep you.... You and your siblings....Hail was going to have us all killed. When I escaped, Frost.... I gave birth to you about two days later." She explained. "Cats were out looking for me with the order to kill on sight... To kill you on sight."
"THATS ENOUGH." Frostbite snapped. He wants to hate her like he had been all this time. It's easier that way. He doesn't want to listen to her. He trembled with an emotion he couldn't decipher. Rage? Grief? Sorrow? He couldn't tell what it was. "Whatever happened, I'm not ready to forgive you. I have been alone my entire life. I had to trail a pack of WOLVES to survive. Do you know how hard that is?" He continued, voice wavering. "And wouldn't you know, when I found someone who I thought loved me, they tossed me aside after a few moons or so? That was the point- The point at which I figured maybe I wasn't meant to be loved. Maybe I'm just meant to be someone else's burden. Something to be discarded. And it made sense!"
His features softened as he looked at her with widened tearful eyes. "I fought in a battle. I killed cats. I felt nothing. My coat was stained red with the blood of my enemies, and I didn't even feel a victory rush. All I felt was emptiness. There is nothing left inside me to love."
"That's not true, Frost...." His mother said, stepping closer. Frostbite almost wanted to push her away.
"I lost somebody dear to me. A young she cat who I was in charge of training. She was doing so well.... I was so proud of her." He continued. "Her mother was never impressed with her. Just like the foxhearted slime I lived with. No matter what she did, that molly was never happy. So...I tried to be there for her. I wanted her to have what I never had." He said. He watched his mother's ears fall and her mouth bend into a frown.
"A bear got her. It's my fault. I stopped to help someone else, and I was too late to help her. I'm not meant to be close to anyone." He finished. "Find one of my siblings to apologize to. I'm not worth it."
"You stop that. You are absolutely worth it." Her voice became a hint more stern, and Frostbite nearly drew back. "You are my son. No matter how empty or worthless you think you are, you are not to me. I've finally found you after all these moons.... I won't let go so easily again." She rested her head on his, drawing Frostbite close to her. He froze, unable to process to gesture of affection being shown. It was always hard for him.
"You can't join me..... You won't be allowed in." Frostbite said.
"I don't need to join your colony. I'll simply always be near."
"You'll get chased off."
"I'm quick. I was one of the best soldiers in Hail's army before he made me queen."
Frostbite pulled away and looked at her quietly for a moment. "There's a barn across the thunderpath...You could stay there."
Shaking her head, his mother gently rasped her tongue on his head. "I don't need to."
"Then....Then just stay safe." Frostbite said, backing away. "I have to go now." He added. He needed to sleep. This was all so much to deal with and he didn't have the energy or mental fortitude to do so. "What... Is your name?"
She gave him a warm smile as she let him go, rising to her own feet. "My name is Blossom."