camp ration my breaths || nestmaking

[ashpaw!]

What's settled over this clan, this camp, is too awful to describe. She wants it to go away. She wants to ... fix. The scale of their loss is almost unbearable — the wounds suffered, the pain shouldered. Beesong's herbs looted and torn up, no apprentice to ...

(Her heart stutters as it hits her, again, that Gloompaw is gone. Really gone. Another friend just — taken from her, like it's nothing. Like she didn't matter. Like Koipaw didn't love her, like her friends didn't love her. Ashpaw keeps forgetting, like her mind's blocking it out somehow, so every time she's faced with it again it's — fresh. She wants it to stop.)

She wants to fix it somehow. She wants something she can get her paws on and make better. Something to contribute, some kind of balm. She's already been out hunting today, already dropped a fish on the fresh-kill pile... there might've been pride in that another day, but today she's numb, mind racing for other things she can do. Other ways to help. Come on, Ashpaw...

They've been rebuilding. It's a grim, angry work; Ashpaw caught sight of Crappiepaw working on some dens just the other day but there's certainly still more to do. It feels like there's too much damage, exacerbated by the injustice of it all — too much that shouldn't have been destroyed in the first place. This is their camp. This is their home.

Ashpaw knows firmly, without a doubt in her heart, that what WindClan did was wrong. It was just wrong. It was cruel and underhanded and it came from bloodlust and it was wrong. And she knows StarClan agrees. RiverClan didn't do anything to deserve this.

So she sets to work with angry, shaking paws, orange tabby face scrunched up, fighting back the hot tears that gather in her eyes. She gathers reeds to form the base, soft moss and scattered feathers from the copse to form the cushion. Nests. She knows nests were destroyed in the raid, ripped up or flattened under crumbling reed walls, and, well, nests are things you replace anyway, so — this'll be what she can do. This'll be how she helps.

She works for awhile. Weaves, arranges moss, weaves a little more. It isn't fair, she's thinking, so angry at the work and that it has to be done. It isn't fair.
​

—— " i found gold in the wreckage "

✦ ooc ✦ character information ✦ recent events

• she's brooding big time rn but if you approach her she'll be nice i promise. she just wants to make all the bad things go away
  
  
• - 9 month old orange tabby with green eyes
  - apprenticed to lead warrior willowroot
  - crushing hard on iciclepaw
  - happy-go-lucky, mischievous, hardworking
  - very friendly, but defensive of riverclan!
  - got real fucked up as a kid so if she seems like she was fucked up as a kid, that's why
  - "speech"
• - KICKED FOX ASS
  - she is on a JOURNEY
  

​

 

[RAVENSONG]

Ravenpaw is angry at the outcome of the invasion as well, but not for the reasons Ashpaw and the others felt about. The dark apprentice had joined the Clan as a tiny kitten, a kittypet orphan after his father died in the Great Battle. His asocial nature failed him in making many meaningful relationships with elder cats, and even his peers. He was no stranger to brooding, and wishing that things were different. He was filled with an overwhelming desire to go home. But where was home? This loneliness and anger that filled the void of the Clan was something he was well-accustomed too. It was almost tiring to be any more angry.

"It's difficult seeing you like this." Ravenpaw remarked quietly to his fellow apprentice as he worked on another rebuilding task, bright and orange in contrast to his dark and black. He means it, even if it seems cruel. Ashpaw always gave him the impression of a source of light for the Clan. A survivor, but not one who let the past get to her. Not any more. So he thought.

"Want to talk?"

He was not a good converser.

​

 

[Petalnose]

I FIND COMFORT IN THE SOUND AND THE SHAPE OF THE HEART ⋆⁺₊⋆


Petalnose didn't quite know what went down but she got an idea of what happened from some chatter. She was kind of surprised to see everyone in low spirits and in distress when she figured out how to make it back home. But then again, when she woke up like she was thrusted into the world as an adult, everyone was in distress about leaf-bare. It seemed Riverclan had just been sad. Although they were welcoming to her and warm nevertheless. She owed them back, she wanted to help.

Petalnose was wandering the camp in thought until she came across Ashpaw and Ravenpaw, craning her head over Ravenpaw slowly in mild curiosity to whom he was speaking towards. She saw ashpaw and the nest she was working on. Her eyes softened sympathetically and her tail lowered. "I can help you." she mewed softly to the other, slowly moving over nearside of Ashpaw to work on a nest beside her. Although curious, she wasn't going to pressure her more after someone questioned her already. Nobody wanted pressure when they're feeling that way, she hoped helping her would cheer her up a bit. She couldn't relate to how Ashpaw and the others were feeling but she sympathized with them. Especially the young ones such as her.

[⋆]​

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[QUIETSTREAM.]

CO-COMPARSION IS SLOWLY KILLING ME, I THINK I THINK TOO MUCH​

---

quietstream didn't... brood. it wasn't something that she really understood either, but maybe that's because she didn't have an angry bone in her body. most of their energy went to being happy or being anxious. there wasn't a lot in between. so seeing ashpaw, an apprentice they'd known for a long time— and had even gotten jealous of though not with anger— being upset was something they didn't expect. had it been because of all the turmoil? was it because riverclan had constantly been under duress, without having done anything to deserve it? if any clan deserved it, it was the cats that thought they were so blessed by the stars. brainwashed into thinking they somehow were better. but quiet didn't say a thing. it was common, given the fact that they were mute.

their paws stopped short of ashpaw, ear twitching before they reached to nudge her, before gesturing to the nest, as if asking what she was doing or if she needed any help. quietstream could do that.
​