pafp READ THE NEWS, PASS THE TIME [🐦‍⬛] fortifying dens

[LAVENDERPAW]

Less than a moon ago, Lavenderpaw had met the ravenous predator known as cold for the first time. Its eyes were only just beginning to blink open from its long sleep, leaving him overconfident in his ability to outrun its teeth. That was then; now, the fledgling must contend with the harsh reality of its unforgiving jaws as they close around the world. As much as he hates living here, he must work alongside the cats of ShadowClan to survive the blizzard.

He's going to have to follow Mapletuft out in all of that eventually, he thinks. She's the deputy, which he's been told means she has to lead by example. She might even be leader one day, though the idea of a Maplestar smothering the clan in cider-sweetness makes him feel somewhat ill. He finds he's even less keen on the idea of trailing after her syrup-colored pelt in an endless sea of freezing white.

(His resentment of being saddled with a babysitter clouds his judgement of her, perhaps; in truth, he's bewildered, if not impressed, by her ability to hone his claws without sinking hers into his flesh.)

For now, though, his cold paws are occupied with less dangerous tasks in camp. Unless the threat of scratched pads is counted as a danger by these cats, that is. The memory of being sent back to camp for a measly little thorn in his pad still irritates him. Though, for all his stubborn resilience to pain, Lavenderpaw is still careful as he weaves fresh brambles into the side of the nursery. The sights, sounds and smells of kits make him uneasy for reasons he can't quite pin down, but he's lucky to have a fellow apprentice on the job beside him to distract him. He finds himself eyeing Agatepaw curiously from the corner of his vision, wondering about him. The other cat had been a girl earlier this moon, hadn't he? But now he's a boy. Lavenderpaw didn't know you could just... do that. Why would you, though? He doesn't feel like he'd want to be a girl, but maybe it's different for Agatepaw.

In the end, his curiosity wins the battle against his avoidance. "I didn't know you could change your gender," he comments abruptly. "How do you do that? And... why?"

---

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── you can take all you want ⋆⋅🐦‍⬛⋅⋆ but not who i am ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• pls wait for @AGATEPAW. before posting!!

• 

• LAVENDERPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, seven moons
  ⭃ a small, spiky-furred black smoke tom with odd eyes and low white. he's resentful of being dumped at shadowclan's paws by his nonna, and avoids his new clanmates as much as he can, but in truth he's a compassionate young cat who romanticizes the world around him. he holds a deep fascination with birds of prey. ic opinions, he is in his pre-teen angst phase and it will get worse before it gets better.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by solaire ↛ @funeralscythe on discord, feel free to ping for plots.

​

 

[AGATEPAW.]

Humming as he went, Agatepaw wasn't really paying attention to his fellow apprentice around him at first. It was a good day, despite the cold, and the task was simple enough for him to do.

However, his ears twitched when he was addressed and he paused his weaving. "Oh, uh... Well... I'm not the first to do it!" he admitted with a slight laugh. "I just... didn't feel like a she-cat. Being referred to as such just... I didn't like it. It made me feel sick, and it made me... want to tear my own fur out. And I'd look at my brother..."

He paused, swallowing, the bitterness of their falling out still a taste on the tip of his tongue. But the fawn and black tom took in a deep breath. "I'd look at him, and think at how much I wanted to be like him. And I realized that... maybe that was part of it. So I made a decision, and I told my parents. And... for the first time in a long time, I finally felt right. Like things were how they were supposed to be. And then I told everyone else, and they understood and accepted and everything was... fine." Still not the best it could be, but... Stonepaw was better off without him anyways.

Maybe one day Agatepaw would be able to stand beside him again as an equal, not feeling so inferior. He resumed his weaving of the brambles, and his humming, after adding "It just depends on how you feel. It's scary, but... if you feel like you're not what you're supposed to be, you should do what you feel is right."

Maybe, just maybe, Agatepaw had found a bit of wisdom and maturity in this early leaf-bare.​

"Speech"​

---

STEP FROM THE DARK TO THE LIGHT​

 

[LAVENDERPAW]

Agatepaw pauses his work, seeming surprised by the question, but he answers readily enough. Lavenderpaw hopes he hasn't offended him by asking. The fledgling can't say he understands entirely what his denmate must have felt, but the feeling of not belonging in his own skin... well, he's sure he doesn't want to be a girl. It was being abandoned here by Nonna that had made him feel... inside out, or like he couldn't trust the ground beneath his paws anymore. His entire life, everything he'd ever known, had been upended and taken from him in an instant.

Something in him is strangely soothed by hearing that Agatepaw was accepted. He can't put a paw on why. He doesn't want to be here (at least, he's pretty sure he doesn't), he has no reason to want the acceptance and approval of his Clanmates, right?

"If you feel like you're not what you're supposed to be, you should do what you feel is right." His paws abruptly cease their work. A shiver runs down his spine, but not from the cold; he realizes he has no idea what he is right now, or what he's supposed to be now. ShadowClan expects very different things from him than Nonna did, and without her he has no guidance, no signposts telling him where he's supposed to go in life. Maybe that's the source of the wrongness he feels, this emptiness where a sense of self should be.

Agatepaw has better things to do than listen to his problems, so he keeps his thoughts shut away and resumes his work. "I cannot say I really understand," he lies, "but I'm glad you are more comfortable now." He hesitates, then adds, "And... thank you." What he means to thank Agatepaw for is left ambiguous, but he thinks his denmate deserves gratitude for giving Lavenderpaw this new perspective.

---

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── you can take all you want ⋆⋅🐦‍⬛⋅⋆ but not who i am ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• 

• LAVENDERPAW ✩ he/him, apprentice of shadowclan, seven moons
  ⭃ a small, spiky-furred black smoke tom with odd eyes and low white. he's resentful of being dumped at shadowclan's paws by his nonna, and avoids his new clanmates as much as he can, but in truth he's a compassionate young cat who romanticizes the world around him. he holds a deep fascination with birds of prey. ic opinions, he is in his pre-teen angst phase and it will get worse before it gets better.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by solaire ↛ @funeralscythe on discord, feel free to ping for plots.

​

 

[BURDOCKTAIL]

Burdocktail remembers what it was like before he came out; the feeling of wrongness in his own body, the crawling of his skin whenever someone reminded him of how he was perceived. Looking in puddles, and knowing that others saw them as a she-cat had made them nauseous. He'd begun to envy those who were seen as a gender in between molly and tom; that's when he reached his epiphany. They weren't supposed to be a molly.

Coming out had been one of the best decisions of their life. Like a bird shedding clipped feathers, they'd finally had the freedom to express themselves how they felt was right in their heart.

Burdocktail couldn't lie and say he wasn't eavesdropping on the apprentices' conversation while eating. Once the topic of Agatepaw's gender was questioned, his nosiness reared its head. And Agatepaw's response struck them close to home. Lifting their head from their frog, the warrior nods to the duo. "Good on you for stayin' true to yourself, mate," Burdocktail says to Agatepaw. Throwing them both a smile, he tacks on with a playful lilt, "But don't forget the job at paw, yeah?"

He certainly doesn't miss those days of apprentice duties. Flicking their tail tip to dismiss memories of changing bedding and getting thorns stuck in their pads, they take another bite of their frog, content to lounge and continue listening in on the conversations around them.

make me feel alive 𑁍ࠬܓ INFO

• ooc: text
• 
  ■■■■■■■ ✶ burdocktail. warrior of shadowclan ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ་༘࿐⋆｡𖦹°⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
  𖤓 ㅤafab nonbinary, he/they | bisexual, single
  𖤓ㅤ 36 moons old | ages every 1st
  𖤓ㅤ original marsh group member | mentoring none
  𖤓ㅤ lh tortoiseshell smoke/tortoiseshell chimera
  𖤓ㅤ npc xx npc | close with ???
  𖤓ㅤ written by nico, ic opinions | tags‎

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