REBORN FROM WRECKAGE — LICHENSTAR

[Gladefrost]

A sister failed to protect her family.

That's what she was. Troutsnout had failed everyone and yet none pointed the blame on her, it would've been easier if she had been blamed. The sight of Lichenstar checking on Robinheart had caught her attention and the guilt ways heavy in her heart with the aching pain of her body. Robinheart and Rivuletkit were harmed because she was captured by the twolegs and failed to keep her promise to Brookstorm— perhaps that was why it the answer for her being attacked and her siblings harmed in the incident. The figure of the leader catches her attention as she weakly forces herself up from her position, teeth gritting in agony.

“L—Lichenstar.” Troutsnout would call out for the lynx point, a voice deprived of happiness and overflowing in guilt yet agony. She can only hope that the leader can hear her as she finds herself in a sitting position, a paw weakly clenching her chest as the laceration tense with movement. I want to change my name. The spotted tries to say as lips part yet nothing come out causing her jaw to tense. “I... cannot live up to my name.” The injured feline would state her chambray gaze shifts upwards to meet the similar blues of the River Queen, and her ears flattening in shame.

“I have failed... everyone that I value.” She mutters as she forces herself to bow before the leader despite the agony screaming across her body. Her body was branded for her sins and she had a name that she could no longer carry. A name given by loving parents which she failed: a father she could've saved when the rogues attacked Riverclan, a mother she allowed to die which left her siblings parentless. A best friend that she couldn't protect nor her child, and the failed promise to Brookstorm to protect them. What was the point of her name when she has failed everything she was loyal to and valued?

“I failed you, Lichenstar. I've failed Riverclan, and everyone. These scars are my punishment and my name a figment of who I was.”

@lichenstar
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[lichenstar]

✦˚.✦˚✦˚✦˚ ✧ ˚✦˚✦˚✦.˚✦

CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY ✧

• Seeking out Robinheart felt like the right thing to do... She is certain that the tortoiseshell might know her hovering comes from the absence of a stone-furred molly, that she struggles to bridge the gaping hole where a mutual loss sat. She'd wanted to ask... about her kits, the ones the blue point so readily avoided for fear of seeing Brookstorm in them. Algaekit, in particular, felt like a fresh wound anytime they'd heard the kitten's name.... one she'd openly teased Hazecloud with when they were still expecting their own litter, one she'd whispered to Shellpaw about in hopes of winning her over like it was some kind of silly game.
  
  Lichentail had the time to have such simple joys....
  
  "Lichenstar," as a voice tight with pain says it, she is reminded that version of her is distinctly separate, put on a shelf to balance a crown on her temples instead. Turning towards Troutsnout with ears perked forward as a sign of attention, the shaggy looking leader approaches with a flick of her tail, "You should... be resting," is all the empathetic advice she can give. It goes unheeded, an urgency and humiliation settled as brands upon her skin far deeper than the cuts she wears.
  
  Her repentance for her failures feel like confessional of someone dying, who wouldn't be granted the chance to change before shuddering breath left too soon. Concern creases the corners of her lips in a downward frown, uncertain what role she has to play in this admission of guilt. It escapes them, even now, the weight their presence has and the caution with which they must use it.
  
  The way she prostrates herself at their paws makes them uncomfortable... enough so to glance towards whatever illusive figure she hopes is in the dark that may save her from this groveling.. but no one is there... and the actual intention behind all of this makes itself clear-
  
  "First time," she asks, and the flatness of her question comes across harsher than she'd like. For all her pitiful wailing, Lichenstar doesn't believe Troutsnout quite comprehends what she's asking, what she's proposing. This 'failure' was but a taste of a bitterly won future, her survival to endure the grief a luxury. Her nose scrunches, frustrated, thinking of the time spent fussing over picking the perfect names for her children. What a waste... to be asked to throw it aside because failure tasted like ash, no matter whose mouth it came from.
  
  "You're not... a failure... just because... bad things happen." There is the mother who has coddled her youngest when they scrape their elbows or play too rough... but it is fleeting and struggles to be maintained. "There are no... do-overs," a nightmare replayed a thousand times shows star-dusted night plummet into a jagged chasm- there are no do-overs, "So... I'll only... do this once."
  
  It would require... time... to think, to properly pick something that would represent the fierce, stable warrior she suspected that the brown molly could be, if she was willing to get out of her own head.
• about
  
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[Gladefrost]

How could she bare the name that those she loved when she watched them die and had the ability to save her father? For as long as she could remember, her hero had always been her father but she felt frozen and helpless as a newborn deer that day. The late stages of leafbare when everything had gone wrong in Riverclan and rogues ran rampant, her father mercilessly killed and she could only help but watch. Perhaps if she had done something that day, the sturdy figure of her father and the gentle caress of her mother would still be here to this day. If she had been brave and rushed forward, she could've saved a life even if she came out wounded or died.

The gruff diseased voice of her mother riddled with heartbreak and sickness asking for permission to pass to join their father in the Silverpelt. Was she supposed to say no? Watch as her mother continued to wither away and her only joy being fleeting moments of her baby siblings and herself? Her lips pursed as Lichenstar attempts to comfort her that she wasn't a failure due to life occasionally bringing the horrible moments of life. The words of the lynx point sit in her chest and she contemplates whether if this was some sort of redemption of a manner. Her name has always been something she grew to love but the past moons had certainly ravaged her love for her name and the helplessness she felt when it came to her clan.

Maybe for once, she looks at the recent incidents as Starclan giving her something else to consider. Was she living herself before wrong, if Lichenstar believed she would be a fierce warrior? Her body was ravaged in scars from attacking and defending her siblings, but at the cost of them getting hurt. In all consideration, this was a fleeting glimmer of light that the woman before her offered. Similar to a goddess standing before her devotee, and eyes gaze at her leader. So... I'll only... do this once. Her heart skips a beat and her head drops almost as if a hundred tons of weight was released off her shoulders, light tears piercing a chambray gaze. ”Thank you, Lichenstar... Thank you.”

While others may refute Lichenstar's recent actions for bringing in Splashpaw and seemingly taking a council that felt foreign to her, she was doing amazing. It was no longer the tyrant steel-fist rule of Cicadastar, nor the rule of their River King— Smokestar. Lichenstar lead them well and wanted the best for all of Riverclan, her family and friends. ”I know it's stressful being leader but... I'm always here for you, Lichenstar.” Troutsnout would murmur as she meets a familiar blue gaze with her chambray, a flash of determination that seemed to bare the weight of her guilt. ”I will do everything to support you and Riverclan.” It may take her a moment to regain herself, but she would prove herself to be the fierce and stable warrior Lichenstar believed she was.

”I'll do my best to become a warrior worthy of Riverclan. My loyalty lies to you and Riverclan, I'm a call away if you need me.”


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