- Jul 17, 2023
- 66
- 5
- 8
Things have settled down now. As much as they could anyway. Rumblerain, her own kin couldn't be saved. They were down one family member, lost to Sootstar's followers. It stings, more than the loss of their former leader. A leader who she never really cared for in the first place. One that soured her opinion ever since she stole Shadowclan kits. Rabbitclaw herself had kits. Kits that she would never know, yet she could remember them as clear as day. The bundles of fur by her side mewling and squirming. Oh, how she loved them. She had two adorable girls and one dashing tom. How did she lose them? Betrayal. Her mate had lied and told all the others how harmful she was to their kits. A mad woman. A woman who needed to be dealt with, a harm to their society. Her mate, oh that tom she loved was one of the most powerful within the group. It was easy to cast her out. Any word uttered from his maw was truth and any from her would be seen as a lie. He had told her moments before she was attacked and chased out that their kits were going to be renamed. That their new mother would ensure that these kits would fulfill their destiny.
Her only regret then after she had flung herself at him for those words was that she hadn't tore his heart out and left it to rot. An ugly thing it was. He bled that was for certain, but she had been swarmed shortly afterward. Many of her scars come from that battle. Her tail... Don't think of it now. After the humiliation and loss of love, she wandered. Scavenging for meals, sleeping in the cold with frosted whiskers, or having to trudge in the rain shivering all the while. To be honest she wasn't sure why she was alive. Everything was taken from her. Her kits? With the tom who she thought would be her forever at one point. Her sister and brothers? Oh, that's right. It was she who abandoned them. The first to leave without looking back ever. She hadn't gone off to find them, nor did they try and find her. Moons of silence between kin. Would you have loved your nieces and nephew?
Eventually. God, how many nights has it been? Tired paws led her to her sister. There was no mistake. Despite the many moons of silence between them, they both knew with a single glance. Even if Riley, Rabbitclaw looked so unsightly. Little did she know, but that day lead to a new life. A new beginning. It was rough of course, being with her sister and brothers! Yes! Brothers! Lizard and Rattle were already there. The problem was that she didn't know what to say or how to act with them. And what did they do? They... They accepted her. They wanted to be with her. They spoke to her. They wanted to share a nest with her as if they were all kits again, sleeping together and talking about anything. She would never admit it, but they had saved her. All of them. Even though she was so awful to them. That is why even at their behest she went out of her way, was reckless in her love to protect them. If any cats deserved anything good in life, it would be them. Her siblings.
And then, she met the worst cat in her life. A dashing tom. Hulking and suave. A tom who was already known as a heartbreaker, and yet when she laid eyes on him her breath was stolen. It was as if she was sent back in time, moons younger, naive. His voice was music to her ears at the time she will admit that, but panic quickly settled in when he started to speak to her. She insulted him and mocked him. Oh, she remembered the immediate disgust thrown her way and that was the start of their hatred. They would get into scuffles. They would spat and had to be pulled apart from others. She remembers Rattleheart telling her why the heck does she even fight back with him and at the time she couldn't understand why. Eventually, she realized she refused to be weak. Not again. Not ever. If she allowed him to step all over her and claw at her heart, then she hadn't changed from that pathetic she-cat who lost everything that day.
Soon enough her near deadly interactions with Fogbound had lessened and if you asked her... She had no clue when it started to shift. He had become less of an enemy, but not a friend yet. A rival? It was uncertain. Nor did she have the time to think too hard about it when her sister became heavy with kits. She'll never forget the excitement that was soon followed by heartache. It was not that she hated her sister or her future kits. No, never. It just reminded her of her own, lost to that man. They would be around the age where they start to learn to hunt. None of her siblings knew. There was no point in saying anything. All of them were a bit puzzled at her distance at the situation and even more so when the kits, her nieces and nephews were born. When all of them were allowed to see those squirming bundles... Tears were shed. Even though she had promised herself that she wouldn't do so. A comforting paw rubbed against her back while she smiled with a mixture of sadness and happiness to welcome the little bundles to the world.
Everything was okay. For a long time. Until they were chased off by rogues. To lose their home was one thing, but something unexpected happened as well. Fogbound nearly died and as she saw his bloodied unmoving form she was struck with fear. That was the first time she had to acknowledge that he meant something to her. That if he died then, she wouldn't know what to do. Who would be there every day and every night to exchange insults with? To play this game of cat and mouse? Both of them had flings in between and none of them lasted, however she remembered the anger when she brought up a tom. Fogbound was miffed to put it simply and accused her of cheating (they never actually were official despite that stupid game of theirs). She could have doubled down and go into detail how handsome or how romantic that tom was, but she didn't. He was bothered and that bothered her for some reason. She reassured him with some bite that she wouldn't do such a thing to any lover and buried herself into his fur.
And that stupid idiot nearly gets killed a second time and proceeds to lose sight in one eye from a badger. She nearly flipped her shit because he was a kit! It's as if he didn't know when to call it a quits and so she set off to find him. Remembering how she didn't want to see him entertaining another she-cat. Before it hadn't bothered her as much but this go around she felt a sting of anger. Luckily he was alone. Their conversation was fragile. Both of them fearful, yet crossing the boundaries once again. Afterwards, they avoided each other. Not wanting to deal with such feelings or strange tensions. Although, she was puzzled why he ignored his date. They continued to flirt with others and go on little dates, so it was peculiar why he would leave a she-cat to speak to her. Asking how she was or what she was planning on doing. Mind you most of the time she was not batting an eye at him, talking and laughing with another. And so the awkward moments of explaining she'll be going with someone else to complete their duties, was met with disappointment?
Besides that and the whirlwind of getting chased off by Sootstar's followers and Rumble leaving them.... Finally, finally she is able to reflect on everything. Her frustration towards Sootstar. Her anguish towards Rumblerain leaving them and their family being in pieces. Her happiness in being back on Windclan lands instead of the barn and meeting Sunnyday. And her utter despair at the realization of one thing.
Rabbitclaw is a fool. A fool for being in love with Fogbound even all her efforts to avoid such a fate. "Fuck."
Her only regret then after she had flung herself at him for those words was that she hadn't tore his heart out and left it to rot. An ugly thing it was. He bled that was for certain, but she had been swarmed shortly afterward. Many of her scars come from that battle. Her tail... Don't think of it now. After the humiliation and loss of love, she wandered. Scavenging for meals, sleeping in the cold with frosted whiskers, or having to trudge in the rain shivering all the while. To be honest she wasn't sure why she was alive. Everything was taken from her. Her kits? With the tom who she thought would be her forever at one point. Her sister and brothers? Oh, that's right. It was she who abandoned them. The first to leave without looking back ever. She hadn't gone off to find them, nor did they try and find her. Moons of silence between kin. Would you have loved your nieces and nephew?
Eventually. God, how many nights has it been? Tired paws led her to her sister. There was no mistake. Despite the many moons of silence between them, they both knew with a single glance. Even if Riley, Rabbitclaw looked so unsightly. Little did she know, but that day lead to a new life. A new beginning. It was rough of course, being with her sister and brothers! Yes! Brothers! Lizard and Rattle were already there. The problem was that she didn't know what to say or how to act with them. And what did they do? They... They accepted her. They wanted to be with her. They spoke to her. They wanted to share a nest with her as if they were all kits again, sleeping together and talking about anything. She would never admit it, but they had saved her. All of them. Even though she was so awful to them. That is why even at their behest she went out of her way, was reckless in her love to protect them. If any cats deserved anything good in life, it would be them. Her siblings.
And then, she met the worst cat in her life. A dashing tom. Hulking and suave. A tom who was already known as a heartbreaker, and yet when she laid eyes on him her breath was stolen. It was as if she was sent back in time, moons younger, naive. His voice was music to her ears at the time she will admit that, but panic quickly settled in when he started to speak to her. She insulted him and mocked him. Oh, she remembered the immediate disgust thrown her way and that was the start of their hatred. They would get into scuffles. They would spat and had to be pulled apart from others. She remembers Rattleheart telling her why the heck does she even fight back with him and at the time she couldn't understand why. Eventually, she realized she refused to be weak. Not again. Not ever. If she allowed him to step all over her and claw at her heart, then she hadn't changed from that pathetic she-cat who lost everything that day.
Soon enough her near deadly interactions with Fogbound had lessened and if you asked her... She had no clue when it started to shift. He had become less of an enemy, but not a friend yet. A rival? It was uncertain. Nor did she have the time to think too hard about it when her sister became heavy with kits. She'll never forget the excitement that was soon followed by heartache. It was not that she hated her sister or her future kits. No, never. It just reminded her of her own, lost to that man. They would be around the age where they start to learn to hunt. None of her siblings knew. There was no point in saying anything. All of them were a bit puzzled at her distance at the situation and even more so when the kits, her nieces and nephews were born. When all of them were allowed to see those squirming bundles... Tears were shed. Even though she had promised herself that she wouldn't do so. A comforting paw rubbed against her back while she smiled with a mixture of sadness and happiness to welcome the little bundles to the world.
Everything was okay. For a long time. Until they were chased off by rogues. To lose their home was one thing, but something unexpected happened as well. Fogbound nearly died and as she saw his bloodied unmoving form she was struck with fear. That was the first time she had to acknowledge that he meant something to her. That if he died then, she wouldn't know what to do. Who would be there every day and every night to exchange insults with? To play this game of cat and mouse? Both of them had flings in between and none of them lasted, however she remembered the anger when she brought up a tom. Fogbound was miffed to put it simply and accused her of cheating (they never actually were official despite that stupid game of theirs). She could have doubled down and go into detail how handsome or how romantic that tom was, but she didn't. He was bothered and that bothered her for some reason. She reassured him with some bite that she wouldn't do such a thing to any lover and buried herself into his fur.
And that stupid idiot nearly gets killed a second time and proceeds to lose sight in one eye from a badger. She nearly flipped her shit because he was a kit! It's as if he didn't know when to call it a quits and so she set off to find him. Remembering how she didn't want to see him entertaining another she-cat. Before it hadn't bothered her as much but this go around she felt a sting of anger. Luckily he was alone. Their conversation was fragile. Both of them fearful, yet crossing the boundaries once again. Afterwards, they avoided each other. Not wanting to deal with such feelings or strange tensions. Although, she was puzzled why he ignored his date. They continued to flirt with others and go on little dates, so it was peculiar why he would leave a she-cat to speak to her. Asking how she was or what she was planning on doing. Mind you most of the time she was not batting an eye at him, talking and laughing with another. And so the awkward moments of explaining she'll be going with someone else to complete their duties, was met with disappointment?
Besides that and the whirlwind of getting chased off by Sootstar's followers and Rumble leaving them.... Finally, finally she is able to reflect on everything. Her frustration towards Sootstar. Her anguish towards Rumblerain leaving them and their family being in pieces. Her happiness in being back on Windclan lands instead of the barn and meeting Sunnyday. And her utter despair at the realization of one thing.
Rabbitclaw is a fool. A fool for being in love with Fogbound even all her efforts to avoid such a fate. "Fuck."
- just a very long oneshot about girlie reflecting a bit on past events
-
— rabbitclaw / windclan tunneler / feminine pronouns / 48 moons
— pansexual / single / looking / open to flirting and crushes
— scar riddled short-haired lilac tortoiseshell with blue eyes
— may powerplay minor harm / can powerplay healing
— biography / @ on discord for plots
— penned by velou