Reflections // Owlpaw

[SUNSPARK]

Sunpaw's had a lot of time to.... think. She would hate to admit that the older warriors, Lichenstar, Hazecloud- were right, so she's not going to. But being away from Owlpaw during the day has given her a lot of time in her own head. The punishment itself wasn't necessarily the catalyst for her changing, but she has to imagine that getting in trouble for real definitely... was. Because the truth is, she does want to be a RiverClanner. And maybe the time that she spent when she had first joined being known as a kittypet, as an outsider, the struggle to adapt to a new way of life, had cemented something in her head that was never meant to be cemented. The only cat keeping her from being a RiverClanner was... herself.

She thought she had gotten over that when she had admitted to herself that RiverClan was going to be her forever home, but maybe there was a part of her still too afraid to admit it.

Despite the punishment limiting her ability to see Owlpaw, nothing's ever really stopped them from making use of the night that they get to spend together, their only downtime. More often than not, they sneak out of their nests and away from the Apprentice Den so they can go talk freely without waking anyone up, or being overheard. "We're going to be warriors soon," she murmurs. Tonight is yet again one of those nights, and they're walking a quiet lap around the perimeter of the camp, voices low as they walk side by side. "Well... if they let us. Do you think they will?"​

 

[owlcrest]

"What?"

His voice was pure confusion as they walked side by side. He furrowed his brows, searching the ground. His voice was a hushed hiss, his mouth fighting anger and grief. "No we still have like.. two moons," he argued, mismatched gaze looking to Sunpaw in disbelief. But something in his gut told him otherwise, his shoulders feeling stiff. But Sunpaw always has been right.

"We still have time to prove to them- to train together- do you, did they do this on purpose? Would it have been longer had we not been warriors so soon?"

They probably knew what they were doing. Why wouldn't they? They hated the two together. Hemlockshine said she was a bad influence, a huff of breath escaping his maw, the heat exhaling fog from the cold.

"What are we to do? I don't, I still don't think they are right. What are we supposed to do? I'm sooooo sorry," his drawl almost a growl, " for hurting your little heart foxtail? I'm so sorry, my best friend is a 'bad influence' Hemlockshine?" His teeth snapped, before letting out a sigh.

"I just miss you."

​

 

[SUNSPARK]

"No..." she says it slowly, looking to Owlpaw with a bit of surprise at his reaction. Well, maybe for Owlpaw it's slightly longer, but for her. "I have less than... what, half a moon left?" she wagers with a small tilt of her head. She does at least. Next... Next meeting, that's it for her. Can she really still be hanging in the shadow of all of this when she's no longer got a 'paw attached to her name? It makes her sigh. "No, I don't think so Owlpaw. I think that's just how the time happened to line up, I guess. Because it was supposed to be just a month, remember? And then we opened our mouths," she grumbles. They did this to themselves.

Fear. It does come in a lot of forms doesn't it. And as she listens to Owlpaw talk, she pushes a few stones out of her way as they walk, letting them clatter as she kicks them out of the way. Owlpaw starts talking, and at first she opens her mouth to reply, but instead he keeps going. And it bleeds into that sarcastic lilt that would normally make her laugh. It still does, though only as a soft huff of an exhale than a true laugh. "Yeah, I think that'd go over so well with them," she finally replies with her own sarcastic tilt. "Wait- did Hemlockshine really call me a bad influence? Why?"

I just miss you. For some reason, it makes Sunpaw take in a sharp inhale. She misses him too, and it's not a secret. They're friends. They're good friends. But with the fact that they'd been banned from seeing each other during the day or training with each other, and it really did just leave them to these evening hours and sleep to be around each other, she had ultimately found herself becoming... clingy. Owlpaw never seems to mind it, and maybe it's just normal. Maybe the distance just makes the heart fond, or something like that. She doesn't know.

"I've been... thinking that maybe I should... apologize to Foxtail. For trying to hit him. And... probably some other stuff too." She says it with length, her gaze stuck ahead as she walks alongside. It's easier to talk with Owlpaw, who won't judge anything she says or considers. Even if she has a feeling he might be kind of surprised to hear her say it. "Since we're becoming warriors soon, we're supposed to be... adults or something, right? I've been thinking that's what adults do. Apologize for stuff."

And, after a lengthy pause, she pushes herself just a step or two ahead before she adds softly. "I miss you too."​