resigned to fate, fading away | butterflytuft

[Howlfire]

Grief was not an uncommon emotion for Howlfire. In fact, much of her life had been marked by intense periods of grief.

This grief, though not truly her own, still hurt her deeply. Applefrost and Dandelionwish were familiar faces in the clan and though not as close to them as some of her other clanmates she had thought of them both fondly, though of the two it was Dandelionwish's death that affected her more. There had been similarities in Dandelionwish she had seen in her own mate; two cats who had lived under Sootstar's tyrannical reign for a time before finding peace and a true home in SkyClan. She also had memories of Dandelionwish frequently visiting the nursery to see Butterflytuft, a cheerful face on those odd days when their kits were a bit too much of a pawful. To think that SkyClan would never see either of their faces again or share tongues with them was a travesty. And Howlfire could only imagine how Butterflytuft was feeling.

Howlfire did not know what it was like to lose a mate but she knew loss and knew Butterflytuft. Her former denmate was a sensitive soul and she knew this loss would be hitting her hard.

Understanding she would need her space - and the comfort of her own kin - Howlfire had given the queen a few days to herself before seeking her out. "Butterflytuft?" She calls out, eyes looking around for the queen, before spotting her familiar tortoiseshell form. "Butterflytuft, I..." Her voice catches for a moment. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Dandelionwish was a good cat and a good mate to you." Amber eyes looks at the queen with deep sympathy. "How are you holding up? I hope you don't mind me coming to check on you...I though you might appreciate a friendly face."

@butterflytuft ​

 

[butterflytuft]

Butterflytuft has retreated into herself even more than she usually does as of late. She spends most of her days holed up in the nursery, only eating when her siblings come and encourage her to take a bite of something. Everyone keeps telling her time will heal, but with the wound so fresh any thought of Dandelionwish feels like a stake through her heart. Her cheeks are damp when Howlfire approaches, chin lifting off of her paws to look up at her. “Hi, Howlfire,” She murmurs quickly, moving to wipe away any remnants the tears have left. “I’m sorry, I’m…sorry.”

She looks down, ashamed, but her ears prick to listen to her former denmate’s words. Emotion swallows her whole as she sniffs, drawing in a heavy, shaking breath. “There was no cat like him,” She agrees softly, a sad smile finding its way into her face. The she-cat asks how she’s holding up and she glances away, ears falling. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to…be there for my kits. When I see them, I just…I don’t know what to say that won’t make me break down right in front of them.” Blinking away even more tears that threaten to come, she looks to the tortoiseshell before her. “What do I do?” Her voice comes out pleading, her bottom lip wobbling with desperation. ​

 

[Howlfire]

"You don't have to apologise, Butterflytuft," Howlifre mewed softly, when the queen made an effort to dry her tears. She was grieving, it was understandable why she'd be so distressed. Only a cat with a heart of stone would not have shed a tear or felt sympathy for the tragedy that had befallen Dandelionwish and Applefrost.

When Butterflytuft asks her for advice, Howlfire is lost for words for a moment, unsure of what to say in response. She did not know the pain of losing a mate but she did know loss. "Try not to linger on the pain but think about the happier memories you shared together," Howlfire gently urged after she had taken some time to think about her response. "When you spend time with your kits, think of all the happiness and joy you all spent together and all the happy and joyful moments you will continue to have even though Dandelionwish is gone."​