private RETURN TO SENDER ʚїɞ dawnglare

[Softsight]

Softpaw had never thought too harshly of SkyClan, or really any other Clan, for that matter. She hadn’t lived to see any conflict between them, and in fact had been born into a time of relative peace between the five, when the rogues had invaded the territories and tried to drive everyone out. So she took no issue with Dawnglare taking up camp in ThunderClan, especially not when the visitor was there to see to it that Gentlestorm received the training he hadn’t before.

What Dawnglare’s arrival heralded for Softpaw, however, was one that she was more hesitant to address herself, and that was the idea that she might want to know more about herbs and remedies than the average cat. She’d always been on the, forgive the wording, softer side, this she knew, but before Dawnglare had come to ThunderClan, Softpaw had been quite convinced that she was content with being on the road to becoming a proper warrior. But now she had been given something to think about.

She didn’t think badly of medicine cats; they were the ones who had saved her father during the yellowcough outbreak, and her sister when she'd been attacked by an owl, and she respected them quite immensely for the work they did that no one else could do. Gentlestorm was a staple in the life of every ThunderClanner she was sure, and Gentlestorm was the only medicine cat that Softpaw had ever known. She afforded him the same respect she gave to Howlingstar and Flamewhisker, and the other cats that helped to head the Clan.

Softpaw felt almost embarrassed to approach Gentlestorm with questions pertaining to his work; perhaps she was afraid that he would turn her away, or rebuff her in some other way that might hurt her pride, but she knew that she couldn’t go to Gentlestorm for the possibility of that reason alone. With Dawnglare now residing in ThunderClan, she was given an out, a way to talk about what she was thinking about with someone who wouldn’t be there long enough to look at her in a way she wouldn’t like. She knew nothing about Dawnglare, and Dawnglare nothing about her: and that was good enough for Softpaw to turn to him.

“Excuse me,” Softpaw peered into the medicine cat’s den, having been watching it all afternoon and knew when Gentlestorm would be out, leaving her to approach Dawnglare alone. If she was lucky, Dawnglare might invite her to have their conversation elsewhere, or they’d be done with it before Gentlestorm returned to his den. “Dawnglare? If you have a moment, I’d like a word with you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎OOC ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ INFO ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• !
  

• 

• SOFTPAW ✩ apprentice of thunderclan, six moons
  → peaceful and healing powerplay permitted.
  → penned by Archivist → .archivist on discord.
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

Dawnglare finds himself with a rare moment to laze about... and as is the nature of these things, ThunderClan seeks to to swiftly bring it to a close. he hears the patter of pawsteps, and wistfully, fleetingly— oh, he knows— he hopes that they are not for him... If he was not so often spared the pleasure in his own clan, why would ThunderClan be much different, he supposes... They were all wildcats after all. Stupid, clumsy... At least ThunderClan seemed to have less cats crack their skulls open while falling from trees.

A single eye would peep open upon the stranger's approach. Her own pair are sickly, perhaps that's what she was coming for. Not so quickly does Dawnglare lift his head from where it rests atop conscience - clear paws. His ears prick just barely enough to show that he was listening, though otherwise, he makes little move to adjust. No injury nor illness, it seems. Rather, a word. " A word with me? " in a low drawl, he parrots. He squashes down a bitter laugh with pearly fangs on pink lips. It's something that Blazestar would've said with him. Is it the lingering of his kin, that beckons his memory here? This one is so unlike him, after all... " Sounds serious... " he coos.

He allows his eye to slip shut once again, blinded by the paleness of her pelt and the rhuem of her eyes. ThunderClan sure had a lot of these sorts, didn't they? His tail gestures for her to continue.​

 

[Softsight]

If Softpaw feels bad about having seemingly woken Dawnglare from a nap of sorts, her face doesn't show it, and her tone of voice certainly doesn't let on, either. But when she finally gets a good look at the SkyClan medicine cat, she can't help but feel that maybe she made a mistake in coming to him - but she's here, and it wouldn't do her any good to back out now. There's something almost sinister about Dawnglare, but Softpaw resolves to ignore it and continue forward.

"It's nothing too serious," she assures the tom, and she sits politely with her tail tucked over her paws as Dawnglare gives her the silent okay to continue. "I just had a few questions, about what being a medicine cat is like." Softpaw pauses, not sure if she should jump right in to her questioning or if she should give Dawnglare a moment to possibly send her away. She decides on the former; if Dawnglare didn't want to answer her questions, then he simply wouldn't. That's the impression that Softpaw got from him.

"What made you want to become a medicine cat?" She starts with, looking at Dawnglare, waiting to see his reaction or reply to the question. She wonders briefly if the question is a giveaway for what she's here for, if whether the question is an x-ray into her stomach where a pit of curiosity about the profession lays.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎OOC ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ INFO ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• !
  

• 

• SOFTPAW ✩ apprentice of thunderclan, seven moons
  → peaceful and healing powerplay permitted.
  → penned by Archivist → .archivist on discord.
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

An interrogation, then. The Medicine Cat replies with a svelte twitch of the ears. And what would he be getting in return, for taking up his time with such things. Nothing but the pleasure of hearing his own voice... This one is quite lucky then, that his mood was not a foul one today. And if he did not so often pay himself with his own word, he would be long, long gone by now... Seasons offered to this world, and for what? A muttered thank you? An occasional mouse? He would live far more lavishly if he had never come at all. Perhaps he could simply tell her that, and it'd make her go away... Ah, what is being a medicine cat like? Perhaps something content, to the average clan cat... But they could all have much more elsewhere, really...

He makes a face, teeth strained into part - grimace, part - smile. " What an assumption, " he says, and a pristine paw raps idly at the ground. " I never wanted this, so much as I was called to this, " he explains. They spoke to him when he was a youngling, even if then, he hadn't quite understood. The tremors in the earth, the stars in the sky... things unrelated to the average sort. They had all spelled same things in different language to him, though. It was already set in stone — Blaise had only showed him where to to look... and what a nightmarish spot, it had been.

" SkyClan would be long gone without me, " he levels. Where velvet meets white, blue moons wane into fullness. It is so much more than wanting to be, she must realize. Such a future rested on his shoulders that, had he merely only wanted, would've all crumbled into dust. " If She points you one way, then it will be so. What is up to you is whether you resent Her for it, or not. " He resented someone, something... but it couldn't be her. The one who'd done this was no master of tricks, no snake in sheepskin, just a sun - blind fool, the biggest star of the all.​

 

[Softsight]

Dawnglare was right - Softpaw had come into this conversation with the assumption that Dawnglare had wanted to be where he was now, and not somewhere else - she'd known it when she was younger, that there was more to being a medicine cat than simply wanting to be one, but it would seem as though she'd lost that fact somewhere along the road that had led her to today. She so suddenly felt ill-equipped to be asking questions when she had forgotten such a crucial piece of information.

Pressing her lips into a thin line as she recalled this and took into account Dawnglare's words, Softpaw held her tongue as the tom continued to speak, though his words drifted into a territory unknown to her as he started talking about Her.

"What do you mean by that?" She asked, before realizing the question itself made her sound rather dumb - but she supposed that her mind didn't even compare to Dawnglare's, not by measurement of smarts or wisdom. He knew more than she did right now. "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mean that StarClan will point me to my proper place?" She wasn't sure who else 'She' could be, other than some manifestation of StarClan or belief that Dawnglare had different than most Clan cats.

"And why did you stay, even if you were called to your position? Just to keep SkyClan from disappearing into history?" Softpaw was getting the feeling that Dawnglare didn't care much for his profession, and that made part of her upset; mad, that she'd come for counsel only to get ego and complaints. She didn't dare feel that visibly; even if Dawnglare didn't want to be where he was, what he was, she still owed him some respect, as her senior if nothing else.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎OOC ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ INFO ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• !
  

• 

• SOFTPAW ✩ apprentice of thunderclan, seven moons
  → peaceful and healing powerplay permitted.
  → penned by Archivist → .archivist on discord.
  

​

 

[DAWNGLARE]

What do you mean by that? With a paw over his nose, the tom lets out a snort. He revels in it, the feeling of being unknown and unknowable. This is what made him something— what made him everything, questions at his paws that they could hardly ever understand the answer to, no matter however oh - so - hard he tried. And try, he certainly did... And StarClan. StarClan was not all there ever was... Clan cats were so limited in their views. If this made nonsense to them, what set it apart from the rest of their nonsense, really? " StarClan... or someone else. " A cryptic smile paints him daintily. A low voice dips wraith - like. " If you are anybody, they will tell you, " he purrs. And this one, well... he could not say he sees anything in her.

And why did you stay, even if you were called to your position? His head tilts just so. The answer to such a question was obvious to him, but that, he supposes, is what set the two of them apart most of all, more than looks, or will, or anything else... " Do you deem a call not enough? " genuine curiosity spurs him more than condescension did... although his words were not devoid of that, as well. " I will tell you, it is all about calls, you know. " Claws unsheathe to play at the dirt, and little else. " Herbs are supplementary. What matters is listening when you are told something. "

He glances away, eyes fixing the ground with a forlorn look. Or... with one of longing perhaps. Woulds and coulds... there were too many to count, at this point. " I could have let them all die, but I followed Her will; and now they are here, and so to are you, asking me silly things like this. "

But he supposes, before the stars, before he really tried to see the spirits, when they were just mist, and he, as a vessel, was unwilling, there was something else...

" However... " he hesitates to say. Did it make him faithful, or a fake? He does not share the same loyalties these wild cats do, but in pursuit of that, he has more loyalties than they did. How complicated, indeed... " I - I did have a friend who went first... " Like it was a joke for him, and him only, a giggle slips out, betrayal - born. " You may know of him... He came first, is — is the truth."

// OOC: SOWWY THIS REPLY IS SO LATE​

 

[Softsight]

It wasn't hard to understand that Dawnglare believed in something that wasn't StarClan - though whether that something, this Her was beyond or aside or beneath StarClan, Softpaw wasn't sure. She just knew that wherever Dawnglare's beliefs stood, they were putting strange thoughts in his head that she wasn't sure anyone was meant to understand. She wondered if Dawnglare knew what he was saying half the time, though she quickly squashed this line of thinking; for all his eccentricities, he was a medicine cat, and he was her senior in every way. It wouldn't be proper for her to be thinking so terribly of Dawnglare.

If you are anybody, they will tell you. There's something in Dawnglare's voice that tells Softpaw he thinks little of her, and she frowns. Had this - this coming to Dawnglare, this expecting answers - all been a waste of her time, or was she to still waste more time by trying to decipher all the nonsense that Dawnglare was babbling? "Do you always listen? Always?" She asks, wanting to push back at the tom in front of her, as childish as it is.

Dawnglare's sudden hesitance in saying something is what draws Softpaw's attention to those words he speaks more than anything, because for as short a time as she had known him, Dawnglare had never seemed afraid or tentative to say exactly what he thought. Again, Dawnglare speaks with a certain sort of reverence for this figure he speaks of, but Softpaw chooses to understand that this isn't another deity - or, well, not in the literal sense; what Dawnglare sees as holy is beyond her - of the medicine cat's.

"So even in the case of a call, there can still be a push." Softpaw says, flicking an ear absentmindedly.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎OOC ᓚ₍ ^. .^₎ .ᐟ.ᐟ INFO ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• !
  

• 

• SOFTPAW ✩ apprentice of thunderclan, seven moons
  → peaceful and healing powerplay permitted.
  → penned by Archivist → .archivist on discord.
  

​