- Jan 15, 2023
- 608
- 168
- 43
The moon is full in the sky, shining down over the barn and all its inhabitants. Usually around this time of month, she thinks they would all be gathered at Fourtrees; Sunstride’s followers clearly have no place there. They are WindClanners, true as can be, but they are not WindClan any longer. None amongst them is blessed by the stars as Sootstar is. Besides, a trek to the gathering would put them at risk for another battle with Sootstar’s loyal warriors. They can’t afford another fight right now—and the thought makes Scorchstreak’s head hurt. Rumblerain, the kit she’d named after one of her closest companions, had chosen to stay behind. They’d chosen Sootstar. She doesn’t know what she’d do if she were to meet them in battle. She cannot repeat what she’d done to Dappledsun. The thought nearly makes her sick. She squints up at the moon, as though it will tell her anything she doesn’t already know.
Tucked into the barn as they are, it’s difficult to find privacy, and so the calico has made her way out to a secluded space away from the others. She isn’t certain what she had originally planned to do, but she finds herself drawing a black paw up to her chest, setting claws against the scar that’s etched into pale fur. It would be so easy to drag four lines across it, to see it ruined in one quick swipe. She’s seen the fresh line that bisects the older one across Sunstride’s chest. She’s seen the mess that Bluepool had made of her own flesh in order to disrupt hers. Each of them has severed their physical ties to Sootstar, it seems.
The moorland queen’s closest, the three of them had once been—though Scorchstreak can understand why the others had followed Sootstar for so long. Sunstride had come from Gin’s group, and had risen to the rank of deputy despite it. Bluepool was bound to the smoky-furred she-cat in blood. They’d both had Sootstar’s claws dug into them from the moment they set foot upon WindClan’s territory—what excuse does she have? She had willingly believed everything the leader had said, had been ready to tear innocent cats apart for her—she had killed her own son for Sootstar’s sake. A wretched feeling coils in her stomach, and the calico can recognize it immediately. Guilt. Golden eyes flick to the claws that hover over her chest. She could end this quickly. She could cover the marking that ties her permanently to Sootstar. She could be free, at last, of every last reminder of her time spent as nothing more than the queen’s loyal hound.
With a ragged exhale, she draws her paw away from her chest, settling it firmly back onto the ground. Claws sink into soil, ripping at it in the same way she’d wanted to rip into her own skin. Her jaw clenches so hard that she’s halfway certain she’ll crack a tooth. No, she thinks. She can’t do it. She doesn’t deserve to remove all traces of Sootstar’s influence—she was not just a victim, she was complicit.
The tunneler turns and heads back toward the building, slinking inside silently. Her face is flat, a stoic mask as usual. Her clanmates, her fellow exiles, are settled into their nests for the most part, but few seem to be sleeping already. Scorchstreak can feel eyes on her as she strides over to her own nest. In a practiced, smooth movement she settles down, gently kneading at the wool that lines it. Then, to no one in particular she muses, "The moon looks full. The gathering should be coming up soon, maybe even tonight. What do you think Sootstar will tell the other clans?" How will she explain the absence of her deputy, her lead warriors, and half of her clan? How will she explain fresh wounds upon those who she takes along with her?
Tucked into the barn as they are, it’s difficult to find privacy, and so the calico has made her way out to a secluded space away from the others. She isn’t certain what she had originally planned to do, but she finds herself drawing a black paw up to her chest, setting claws against the scar that’s etched into pale fur. It would be so easy to drag four lines across it, to see it ruined in one quick swipe. She’s seen the fresh line that bisects the older one across Sunstride’s chest. She’s seen the mess that Bluepool had made of her own flesh in order to disrupt hers. Each of them has severed their physical ties to Sootstar, it seems.
The moorland queen’s closest, the three of them had once been—though Scorchstreak can understand why the others had followed Sootstar for so long. Sunstride had come from Gin’s group, and had risen to the rank of deputy despite it. Bluepool was bound to the smoky-furred she-cat in blood. They’d both had Sootstar’s claws dug into them from the moment they set foot upon WindClan’s territory—what excuse does she have? She had willingly believed everything the leader had said, had been ready to tear innocent cats apart for her—she had killed her own son for Sootstar’s sake. A wretched feeling coils in her stomach, and the calico can recognize it immediately. Guilt. Golden eyes flick to the claws that hover over her chest. She could end this quickly. She could cover the marking that ties her permanently to Sootstar. She could be free, at last, of every last reminder of her time spent as nothing more than the queen’s loyal hound.
With a ragged exhale, she draws her paw away from her chest, settling it firmly back onto the ground. Claws sink into soil, ripping at it in the same way she’d wanted to rip into her own skin. Her jaw clenches so hard that she’s halfway certain she’ll crack a tooth. No, she thinks. She can’t do it. She doesn’t deserve to remove all traces of Sootstar’s influence—she was not just a victim, she was complicit.
The tunneler turns and heads back toward the building, slinking inside silently. Her face is flat, a stoic mask as usual. Her clanmates, her fellow exiles, are settled into their nests for the most part, but few seem to be sleeping already. Scorchstreak can feel eyes on her as she strides over to her own nest. In a practiced, smooth movement she settles down, gently kneading at the wool that lines it. Then, to no one in particular she muses, "The moon looks full. The gathering should be coming up soon, maybe even tonight. What do you think Sootstar will tell the other clans?" How will she explain the absence of her deputy, her lead warriors, and half of her clan? How will she explain fresh wounds upon those who she takes along with her?
[ BE A FIRE, BURN THIS DOWN ]