private SAFE IN SORROW — orangeblossom

[BLAZESTAR]

Time is running out.

Blazestar had seen the starry pelts of his ancestors for the second-to-last time. The next time he falls, it will be for good, and at long last, he will rest. The fear he feels at the possibility is bitter at the back of his tongue, like an herb he cannot force himself to swallow—but there’s something frantic that claws its way to the front of his mind now. Time is running out—he may die tomorrow, felled by a hawk’s talons, like Little Wolf, or by the fabled fox he’d sent a patrol searching after, or by an enemy warrior’s claws. He may die in moons, in seasons, comfortable in his sleep with his mate slumbering by his side.

But there’s no way of knowing, and he has no time left to ponder.

“Orangeblossom,” he greets SkyClan’s deputy with weary solemnity. He stirs in his nest, rising so that scraps of moss and bits of leaves crumble away. He leaves his bed, still feeling infirm, feeling old beyond his moons, like the rest of him will trickle away like sand into the floor of his den. “Dawnglare knows. Bobbie will know, as well. But you should know most of all.” He hesitates. “I do not want the rest of the Clan to know. They would needlessly worry, or panic, or… I don’t know.” He shakes his head, impatient with himself. “The—the fox. It took two of my lives.”

He shifts his paws. “The next time I go to meet StarClan, I will not return.”

[ @orangeblossom ]

, ”​

​

 

[Orangestar]

𝐵𝑈𝑇 𝑇𝑂 𝐴 𝑊𝑂𝑀𝐴𝑁, 𝐵𝑌 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐸𝑁𝐷 ✧ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀

• 
  
  — orangeblossom | tags
  — she/her ; deputy of skyclan.
  — scarred white-and-ginger she-cat with brown eyes.
  — "speech" ; thoughts
  — chibi by waluigipinball
  — penned by mercibun. @ me in any official tabbytales discord for plots.
  
  

​

"Blazestar." Orangeblossom responds immediately, upright and ready as she's always been as Blazestar rises to unsteady paws before her. It's instinct by now, four seasons into her deputyship and being used to the perpetual alertness that comes with being nearby her leader. She watches the familiar cream point haul himself a few steps closer with keen eyes, wondering briefly if she needs to assist him; but he comes to a lurching halt with none of the momentum he needs to collapse again.

He seems ... older, as if moons have passed in the space of a day. He's always been old, chimes a small part of Orangeblossom's mind that she is immediately mortified by, and she blinks to clear it. Despite the effort she is suddenly acutely aware, once again, that Blazestar is similar in age to her own sire. Of course he seems older. Time has passed. She herself is three season-cycles old now ... but there's something about Blazestar's presence that's uniquely elder-like in its weariness.

As Blazestar speaks, unease begins to prickle at the back of her neck.

This is the first time something has taken two of his lives. She didn't even really think that was possible. A vapid exhale exits the sunkissed she-cat involuntarily, frantically moving the stone-piles in her mind to confirm what a part of her already knows. Before she can reach her own conclusion, the confirmation of the thing she least wants to recognise, Blazestar says it outright.

The next time I go to StarClan, I will not return.

Orangeblossom knows, at least in theory, that the end of a leader's lives come about just the same as every other cat. A leader has nine lives to spend in service to their home, protecting their Clanmates; but only nine, and no more. Of five leaders chosen by StarClan to form their Clans only Blazestar and Sootstar remain, their cohort withering away and welcomed into the afterlife with what she assumes to be loving looks and starry sentiment. With a bit of luck, he would outlive the mad queen of the moors.

Even if he did, however, he would still die someday. Maybe sooner than they both think. Even if that is a fact, the prospect of him being gone for good is dizzying. Blazestar is the only leader SkyClan has known. Even those of them who had lived in the forest prior, like herself, had grown so used to the immense tomcat that the very idea of SkyClan without Blazestar feels ... wrong. Innately.

It's rare that Orangeblossom finds herself at a loss for words; yet here she is, silent in her leader's presence. She can barely bring herself to make eye contact with him, finding the den floor by his paws uniquely interesting all of a sudden as the quiet stretches out between them. The reason she'd come straight to him upon returning, however, nags at her.

"We couldn't find any fox-scent." She ventures. Her eyes finally lift to meet his own, searching his expression. Despite the hesitation scrawled across scarred features, her voice is firm. Would he correct himself? Say that the fox had been encountered on another border? Or had he lied to his Clan to spare them worry? Even now, he doesn't smell as strongly of fox as she thinks he should. "No tracks, either. What happened?"
​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar sees the flicker of worry cross dark brown eyes, but Orangeblossom remains upright, her expression taut. The Ragdoll isn’t sure what he’d expected—certainly no hysterics, no passionate appeal to keep himself alive for longer, nothing so unreasonable as all that. He remembers the young ginger-splashed she-cat he’d asked to be his deputy, the stoicism she’d shown even in her youth, and how it has matured and deepened into the battle-scarred warrior who sits before him now. She has journeyed to the mountains—she has seen impossible amounts of death, of Twoleg-destruction, of battles won and lost, and Blazestar feels his paw pads tingle with warmth as he gazes at her.

He feels all the confidence in the world that she is a worthy successor of him. His lips tremble into a thin smile, despite the fear that presses inward like a rising tide.

She appears to hesitate before she speaks. “We couldn’t find any fox-scent. No tracks, either.” Blazestar meets her gaze squarely. “What happened is what I said,” he says, his voice calm as still water. There’s no anger in his expression, no exasperation. He holds steadfast to the lie, to the vow he’d made to Howlingstar and to the kits he’d left orphaned in ThunderClan.

“I can promise you that no harm will come to our Clan from that fox.” His whiskers tremble as he guards his expression. “The danger was to me alone.”

And that is more than even he’d meant to say—but he lets it hang there, linger, until it recedes into the white noise behind them.

, ”​

​

 

[Orangestar]

𝐵𝑈𝑇 𝑇𝑂 𝐴 𝑊𝑂𝑀𝐴𝑁, 𝐵𝑌 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐸𝑁𝐷 ✧ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀

• 
  
  — orangeblossom | tags
  — she/her ; deputy of skyclan.
  — scarred white-and-ginger she-cat with brown eyes.
  — "speech" ; thoughts
  — chibi by waluigipinball
  — penned by mercibun. @ me in any official tabbytales discord for plots.
  
  

​

Despite Blazestar's reassurances, Orangeblossom finds that she doesn't believe him.

How could he know for sure that the fox is no danger to the rest of SkyClan? He hadn't brushed her off on his return, told her not to worry about the patrol because he had killed the stars-damned thing with his own claws or chased it away from their territory. As far as they both know, the fox is still out there lying in wait, and may snare another SkyClanner yet. She watches him shrewdly for a moment, meeting the blue eyes that bore into her in a steadfast pressure.

But, as she had for a long time now, Orangeblossom finds that she does trust him.

Were Blazestar to be lying, were SkyClan to lose a life to this fox in earnest that would not replenish in StarClan's will, she would deal with that then. It's not as if Blazestar would disentangle himself from the situation: she knows the leader would bear that weight by himself if one of their other Clanmates were to die, for as long as he remained in the forest.

"Understood." Orangeblossom relents eventually, dropping her eyes to the floor of the den once again. Her tail curls around her paws, silence stretching out between them for maybe a heartbeat too long before she looks back up at him: "Howlingstar knows now, regardless; apparently ThunderClan has had similar problems as of late. She said that ThunderClan would inform us as soon as they scent something, so that's two Clans on the lookout."

Her tongue darts out to touch at the scars marring her muzzle. They're dry in the cold. Maybe she'll have to pay Dawnglare another visit for her old injuries. "... I'm glad it wasn't the rogues you scented on the unclaimed border. Foxes are brutal, but they're not cats."

​

 

[BLAZESTAR]

Blazestar can see Orangeblossom’s struggle to accept his answer, but after several heartbeats, she relents. “Understood,” she says, and the tension visibly leaves his body. The SkyClan leader draws his tail closer to his body, his exhale long and slow. “Thank you.” She will not know the extent of what he thanks her for—but it matters not. Primarily, he thinks, it’s for the trust she places in him, the trust he knows he would not get from Silversmoke, from Slate, had they been in her position. And he could not begrudge them that—he can only be thankful for the ginger-flecked she-cat who stands steady before him.

“It’s good that Howlingstar knows now.” Of course, Howlingstar had known all along, a secret tempered between friends, between unspoken allies. He shifts again in his nest, seeing a scrap of moss clinging to his pelt. He goes to dislodge it, his teeth buried in the bit of fluff before he turns back to his deputy. “You’re right, though. I did get lucky. The rogues would not have spared me the final life. Remember Cicadastar.” He frowns, his thoughts beginning to drift elsewhere.

“…Orangeblossom.” He meets her dark brown gaze steadily. “This Clan will be your responsibility soon. There’s no doubt I have made mistakes, but there are some things I…” He hesitates. “ThunderClan, and RiverClan. We’ve been through so much with both of them. It will fall to you to keep that peace soon.”

, ”​

​

 

[Orangestar]

𝐵𝑈𝑇 𝑇𝑂 𝐴 𝑊𝑂𝑀𝐴𝑁, 𝐵𝑌 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐸𝑁𝐷 ✧ 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐋𝐋 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀

• 
  
  — orangeblossom | tags
  — she/her ; deputy of skyclan.
  — scarred white-and-ginger she-cat with brown eyes.
  — "speech" ; thoughts
  — chibi by waluigipinball
  — penned by mercibun. @ me in any official tabbytales discord for plots.
  
  

​

Remember Cicadastar. Blazestar warns her, gently, and Orangeblossom nods.

"I remember."

She doesn't remember. She had been in the mountains by then, maybe returning somewhere in the dense scrub of the forest that Little Wolf would have loved had she still been alive and with their clowder. By the time she'd returned to SkyClan, whispers had surrounded them like wildfire, the warriors speaking of Cicadastar in hushed tones and Smokestar announcing to the Clans that WindClan had attacked him on his way to Highstones at the Gathering after.

"I do not know Smokestar well at all. What's your assessment of him?" She hadn't much trusted Cicadastar until about four seasons ago - had it really been that long? - when RiverClan had helped to drive WindClan from their camp. He'd killed Rain, forced the Colonies' conflict to a head. While StarClan had made the final decision, Orangeblossom still considers him at fault for the ending of her old way of life. She'd heard that Smokestar would honour the alliance his predecessor had formed until Blazestar's demise, but then little else; and Orangeblossom has decided she is fine with that. The less she had to think about her sister, the better. If Blazestar had a glowing report with him, however, she might consider chasing that bond between their Clans.

Howlingstar, on the other end of the scale, is a cat Orangeblossom has encountered a generous pawful of times, and nearly all of them had been positive experiences. Level-headed, pleasant enough that Orangeblossom had introduced Cherrypaw to her at her daughter's first Gathering. A cat that she trusts, somewhat, not to attack SkyClan the instant they let their guard down. Even if she and her kin had come from the marshes, the old molly is a rare example of an honourable cat from its reach.
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