pafp SAVE YOUR TEARS ♱ [ DISCUSSION OF EVENTS ]

[SHARPSHADOW]

The warrior sneezes. She's pretty upset that she's just woozy enough to not be able to aim it properly at Amberhaze. Strewed out in a makeshift nest on his side, Sharpshadow groans. " I c-can't believe this happened... " In the moment, he's talking about his sickness... being reduced to coughs at practically the worst time possible. The blizzard's subsided... The clouds have parted to reveal the wonderful world of Leaf-bare. He was missing out on all of the prey he could be not catching right about now. ( That's what tells herself so she doesn't become an alternate version of the tom across from her, dredging herself outside of camp on wobbling limbs out of stubborn determination to do more, work more ). Her claws itch to pounce. Her heart is thrumming, even though she's hardly moved since the day before... Frustration, or something. And her main outlet is gone...

It wasn't just that though. He should ignore it really. Ignore it all. If he was trying to keep himself from spiraling, not discussing ShadowClan's inner turmoil should fall under the same umbrella of not worrying about their dwindling prey pile, but... "I can't believe... " It's halfway a wheeze. " Mirestar, " punched out of his lung, as if yesterday's revelation is only just now hitting him. " Stars, Mirestar... They're gone. " His own paws are glimpsed with an emptiness in his eyes. There's no tears. No anger. It's just...

" I- I can believe it, actually, " he corrects himself. He can feel the rattling of his breath all the way down to his lungs. " I think that's even- even worse. "

OOC: EXTREMELY sleepy starter im sorry but i wanted to get this out today... <3 They're in the Medicine Cat's den tho potentially close enough to the entrance for others to hear them!! Takes place roughly the day after Marblepaw's omen tho if you want to wobble time to be in the mc den for this... waves hand. Pls wait for @Amberhaze !!

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[Amberhaze]

⚛︎₊˚‧ Unlike the newest addition to the medicine cat's quarters, Amberhaze was on the mend. The worst of his cough had subsided along with the perpetual stream of discolored ooze that seeped from every orifice upon his face like infectious tar. Subconsciously, he was sure that Sharpshadow's downfall was his fault- they had been in quite close proximity within the last day or two- but he would be lying if he said he didn't appreciate the company. He had been quarantined once he began to grow too sick to stand upright by order of Marblepaw, who was almost never around given how many others needed her caring paws to check them over. Perhaps it was selfish of him to want connection despite the suffrage that ravaged the whole of Shadowclan, but it was a feeling that only grew the longer he stayed trapped in his makeshift nest.

"I c-can't believe this happened..." The crackling sound of Sharpshadow's voice made Amberhaze's drooping ears perk forward- more like twitch, really, given their weight and size- his eyes widening as to better focus on the melting shape of the other. "...Mirestar..." Oh. That's what this was about.

The gangly oriental shifted uncomfortably in his nest, his chest heaving as a flurry of air evacuated his lungs. "No, I- I can uh...I believe it, too." The corners of his mouth twitched as he struggled to keep himself from baring his teeth- a common, animalistic nervous trait that he would often display, though he tried to keep it at bay. "Between you and me- um...I-I always thought that uh...Mirestar w-wasn't cut out for t-the whole 'leadership' thing." He swallowed so hard the gulp it emitted was audible. "N-Not because t-they were- uh...weak or anything. Just-...T-They cared too much for- for the wrong things. A-And the- the wrong reasons. I guess." Flickering eyes searched Sharpshadow's own, more hazy pair, willing the other tom to understand what he was getting at.

✧ ° . ⚠︎ . ° ✧​

ooc Information

• ooc: —
• 

  AMBERHAZE — HE/HIM ･ 19 MOONS ･ WARRIOR OF SHADOWCLAN ･ PENNED BY SLOANE

 

[Willowburn]

THE GODS CAN KNEEL ⋆⁺₊⋆
"Still a pity that things ended this way." Willowburn's voice rumbled from just outside the medicine cat den, and a few moments after he finally peeked his head inside. He had been given the duty of bringing some food to the den for the unfortunate individuals within, and if he was honest he wanted to keep his presence there to the bare minimum, lest he risked catching the illnesses kicking about. The tabby had been lucky as of late since he had avoided the battles and the sicknesses. He intended to keep it that way.

"Hope you're hungry, I have some prey for you to share out." With very little grace he tossed the scrawny forms of two mice into the den for the residents to pick at. A pitiful amount to share, of course, and a bitter reminder that things were gradually getting worse. "So, what do you think about that omen? Do you think Ternfrost will be worthy of StarClan's choice? Maybe the sign from StarClan is fake."

- ⋆ -​

​

 

[VULTURESONG]

White enters the den, depositing the pitiful rat. Blue eyes glance towards Sharpshadow, Amberhaze, and Willowburn. It was her own greeting, though they would deem her as uncaring to their plight. She's about to take her leave when Willowburn says something interesting. For once. "Personally, I don't care whether or not she is worthy of Starclan's choice. Starclan's choices have been nothing but failures. Smogstar is gone, Mirestar is gone well, and if I remember correctly.... Wasn't it you? Wasn't it you, who placed bets on how long Ternfrost would last as our leader?" Unrelenting. She was not one to mince words, nor would she ever would be.

Truthfully, she has no ill will towards Ternfrost. After all, she barely knows the she-cat. "I think the better question to ask is whether or not Ternfrost is worthy of us. As our future leader she has a responsibility to ensure our survival, to lead us to it. But, without us she is nothing." To say the she-cat was nothing, was a bit much. However, her words held some truth. A leader required a group, a clan. Ternfrost could be blessed with the stars, but if all of them decided to leave? Then, she was no leader. There is no one for her to lead. If anything she can be the leader of her own failures.

Her tongue clicks against her teeth. "We don't know if the sign is fake. Maybe we won't ever know, but the stars don't control me. I will decide whether or not Ternfrost is worthy based on her actions alone." And with that, the white she-cat turns and pads away from the others. Whether or not they deem her worthy or unworthy is a decision of their own. I've made mine. Ternstar, show me your true colors.

// out, unless stopped!​

 

[MARBLELEAF]

Marblepaw has stayed busy. Amberhaze and her other patients — and herself, which she still feels immeasurably guilty about — had ingested the precious catmint Starlingheart had kept in stock. Now, there is none left for Sharpshadow, and the pale apprentice finds herself hovering over his nest more than he probably wants her to. All she can really do now is treat his symptoms — but is he really getting any better? She sniffs the air around him; the scent of whitecough is still strong, whereas in Amberhaze, it's begun to thin.

She sighs and leaves Sharpshadow alone, beginning to clean up the droplets of spilled honey and the stray scraps of crumbled leaves. It's only after she turns her back that Sharpshadow begins to speak to Amberhaze: "I can't believe... Mirestar. They're gone." And then, an amendment: "I can believe it, actually. I think that's even worse." Marblepaw's ears flick, though she does not give any other sign that she's listening.

Amberhaze's response is one she does not expect. He says Mirestar never seemed suited for leadership, that they cared too much about the wrong things. She paws at a bit of horsetail, wondering, Is that true? Mirestar had wanted ShadowClan to succeed — that's why they'd helped RiverClan with their ambush on ThunderClan — but did they go about it the wrong way? Is that what the Clan thinks?

Willowburn's scent invades the miasma of whitecough and herbs. She stays still, listening as he provides prey for the sickly. "Do you think Ternfrost will be worthy of StarClan's choice? Maybe the sign from StarClan is fake." Marblepaw has to fight against her instinct to bristle. Fake? Do her Clanmates think she would really fake an omen from their warrior ancestors? And if she were to do that, do they really think she'd do it for Ternfrost, of all cats? Ternfrost had openly never trusted her as Starlingheart's apprentice!

But she says nothing, her tail beginning to flick now. And then another cat strays closer — Vulturesong. The she-cat says grandly, arrogantly, that she does not need StarClan to tell her who is worthy of leadership. That she decides on her own. Marblepaw finally twists around, her eyes narrowed with annoyance. "StarClan didn't choose Smogstar! Chilledstar did. And Smogstar is the one who chose Mirestar. You can't blame their disappearances on StarClan!" She wants to chide the warrior for speaking so ill of StarClan, but she decides to hold her tongue on that matter.

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — "speech", thoughts, attack
  — 11 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.

​

 

[SINGEGLARE]

*+:｡.｡ Marblepaw's incessant defense of Starclan would be grating if it wasn't honestly so sad. Like, man, way to dump a bucket of rainwater on Singeglare's fire. The girl's squeaking reminded him of a mouse attempting to talk its way out of a fox's jaws, the image leaving a pit in his stomach. He watches Vulturesong leave, the woman's grandiose statement one he can't disagree with. Marblepaw tries to, though. Squeak, squeak, squeak. Sorry kid, you're pleading your case with foxes that aren't just starving, they're scared.

"Chill, kid," Singeglare sighs, knowing from experience those words are probably the last thing the poor girl wants to hear. But it ain't any less true. "To be honest, I'm with Vulturesong on this one" Before he continues, he shoots Marblepaw a look that can almost be described as apologetic...almost. Lingering at the medicine den entrance, the man looks in on those gathered for the long haul and a temporary stay, considers his place in this conversation, and then shrugs. Shadowclan's resident loudmouth isn't about to break that habit today.

"She's got massive paws to fill at best and a shit curse to overcome at worst, but after two I don't have much faith to spare for her or Starclan. They're both gonna have to work overtime to prove they're not stringing us along for their amusement," he huffs his frustration and feels none of it eased. It's felt like everything's gone downhill since Chilledstar's death, could Marblepaw or Starlingheart really blame the clan for losing faith? One could only desperately grab hold of crumbling cliff edges for so long.

"But I mean, what choice do we have?" he adds with a sigh, his earlier promise rearing its ugly little head to his quickly mounting exhaustion, "Maybe Starclan's omen is just to say "deal with it, we're trying our best here too"" he sneers at the thought, wondering just how omniscient the stars truly were. Maybe they were all just bumbling idiots doing their best in a world out to get them, hiding behind coincidences both ugly and pretty. Maybe dying didn't change that. Maybe those with stars in their fur had about as much knowledge of the future as squeaky little Marblepaw here but still longed to somehow, in some way, tell those they left behind that they weren't forgotten?

He scratches the back of his ear feeling restless with doubt.

"Too bad you couldn't catch the tern," he says with a yawn towards the fate-speaking apprentice, "Would've been nice if they left us dinner with a show" he snickers.

*°:⋆ₓₒ Updated 10/4/24

• 
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☄ Singeglare
  ☄ Cismale — He/him — Heterosexual
  ☄ 12 moons — Ages 1 moon every month on the 2nd
  ☄ NPC x Duckshimmer (brother to Swallowflutter, Sneezeduck)
  ☄ Shadowclan — warrior
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☄ Physically medium | mentally somewhat easy
  ☄ Attack inbold #b8312f
  injuries: none
  

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[SHARPSHADOW]

Amberhaze— lucky enough to have received one of the last doses of Catmint, almost certainly— doesn't speak with the same wheeze he had days before. The twitchiness was never sickness though, it's just him... and past all the stupid theories, all the... preparing for some unspeakable event, meanwhile ShadowClan had plenty of speakable ones to worry about still, it always startles him a bit when he says something reasonable. Sharpshadow shifts his head. Past the scrunch of discomfort, some amount of surprise colors his eyes.

There's something he swallows down... was it agreement? Disagreement? None who came before Mirestar had been starry, picturesque figures of Leadership. No, not the bold, blazing coat of Sunstar, not the honed form of Howlingstar or blazing coat of Flamestar... Maybe it was the misfortune of being a part of the clan they oversaw that tainted the lineage of ShadowClan's heads, but Mirestar had never quite stood in the same place the others had.

" I... " Sharpshadow swallows, shifts. To reply at all felt like disrespecting the dead— but that was stupid, wasn't it? " Chilledstar was my leader... " he finally says. The Leader stupid enough to call someone like him Lead Warrior. " Smogstar- Smogstar was my leader. " For a little bit, he was... " But Mirestar... " Her breath shudders. " ...I don't know. "

A victim of circumstance was probably what they were. Triple the burden; the clan, the disappearance, the one before them... Not enough time, or something like that. It wasn't their fault they hadn't been him, but Sharpshadow resented them for it, anyway.

Maybe she agrees. The warrior blinks back at Amberhaze with a resolute frown. One that, as rare as it might seem, wasn't for him.

Her eyes lift to meet Willowburn, a confident voice to stamp out the irritating mess that had to be her and Amberhaze. His comment prickles her pelt. Panic grips her suddenly— more emotion than Mirestar was worth, surely? " That d-doesn't mean I wanted them gone. " Is that what he thought? Is that what Marblepaw, at a shuffle behind her thought? " They- they were ShadowClan. " Oh, she'd told Forestshade that. She'd believed the same for Smogstar. What did it mean for him, someone who was nothing but ShadowClan, and couldn't possibly hope for more?

Breath comes out in a wheeze, all of a sudden. It feels like his lungs are rattling. He doesn't turn for Marblepaw. They could do nothing for him. Tiny thumps of two mice— embarrassingly— startle him to the present. It sounds pitiful when he wheezes. " I'm not. " And he's more grateful for that than he made himself sound. He didn't deserve to eat; not like this. Wordlessly, she pushes them toward Amberhaze.

Oh, Willowburn started a conversation, apparently. Ears strain towards the chirpings of him and Vulturesong both. Marblepaw is spurred into speaking. Sharpshadow can hardly understand them. Is it whitecough that makes her that way, or just her? Even less could she hope to understand what StarClan did and didn't do. She's stopped trying to at this point. Maybe her first mistake was believing they could do much at all for them.

He couldn't not hear Singeglare even if he wanted to.... And frankly, he did want to. ( Absently, he thinks Singeglare is way too young to be addressing others as kid... but isn't that a lame, crabby warrior thing to think? ) Maybe there's truth in what he says though... An omen being more of a shrug of StarClan's shoulders than they realized... His huff of something laughter-like only sounds sad, really. " Who knows what worthy even means, at this point? " He'd thought Smogstar had done everything right, once.​