private say you won't let go ;; pollenfur.

[hyacinthbreath]

@POLLENFUR

At night, she wanders the borders of twolegplace in search of faces so familiar- they were no longer WindClan, merely loners and kittypets alike. It didn't make it any less terrible of her, to go behind her clanmates' backs once again. But it wasn't unfamiliar to be in this situation, she thinks. Silvery fur slips through reeds, pelt slick with river water. Her fur clings to her ribs, exposing them ever so slightly to the moon above. She wants to see her children, aches to hold them and remind them how much she loved them. But they were in the past, and Hyacinth couldn't go back to that.

A stick cracking catches her attention then, ears perking up. She's prepared to fight, prepared to kill- but then the figure that steps through the muck is calico fur that makes Hyacinth's heart drop into her stomach.

"Pollenfur..?" She whispers softly, thick accent twisting with confusion. She must be going insane- seeing Pollen here. That molly wouldn't do anything like leaving WindClan, leaving her family behind. But, then again.. Hyacinth thought the same about herself. And now look at her, a RiverClanner. Excitedly, her face brightens and she rushes over to the dappled femme. "Liebling, where have you been? Why are you so far from WindClan? Are you eating okay? I can go- go hunt something for you. I.." She hiccups, sniffling her tears of worry. "I've missed you."
​

❝ there are wounds inside me, gaping holes of disconnect.
can you drown inside your own body? can you suffocate within this mind? ❞

 

[POLLENFUR]

She's wanted to abandon this place, this forest, every shattered Clan within every desolate biome. She's wanted to leave her kin behind the way she'd done as a younger she-cat -- let her paws guide her, follow the stars aimlessly until she's discovered some truth. Let Honeytwist guide her from StarClan, if such a thing can happen. WindClan has never been her home, and even the moors she'd been raised in were a temporary sanctuary at best.

Now, her birthplace only serves as a reminder that she has been abandoned. That she has continued the cycle, abandoned those who needed her, wanted her. But she knows she could not have protected them from whatever Sootstar and her dogs had in store for them. Pollenfur finds it's easier -- not better, but easier -- to live in blissful ignorance. Perhaps they are living. Perhaps they've left, too. Perhaps they've been executed in cold blood...

Pollenfur's paws slow where she is, her heart aching. She wants to hide for the night, but Twolegplace feels so isolating. The streets are cold, and the foliage is sparse; she fears Twolegs as much as she hates them, and she's in no condition to fight. Her mocha-patched pelt is thin in most places, dull; her ribs jut from under her fur. Leafbare is cruel to all five Clans, she knows, but for a loner, life is even more bitter.

For a few heartbeats, she stands in a slanted amber pool of light; the streetlight flickers but stays on. She does not want to enter the forest again. She does not want to leave. She cannot stay. She only stares into the bleak nothingness before her, listening to the sound of her breathing, the faint beat of her heart.

"Pollenfur..?" A hesitant voice. Familiar. Achingly so. The calico half-turns, golden eyes misting. "Hyacinthbreath?... How did..." The she-cat's strangely-accented voice both soothes her and sends her heart rate rocketing. A small silvery shape emerges from the brush edging the border, her blue eyes wide and excited.

Pollenfur can't stop the smile from creasing her face -- but it's tired, so tired. "Why are you so far away from here? Where did you..." Her stomach roars, and Hyacinthbreath is close enough to where they both can hear it. Despite the season, her friend -- her... -- has a fuller pelt than she, a sturdier build. "If you're offering, I'll take it," she says, her smile growing rueful.

"I've missed you," the silver warrior says, and Pollenfur looks away. Will StarClan take Hyacinthbreath from her too? Haven't they already? She's too wise to blame their ancestors for the rift, but her heart is twisted, hollow. "I've missed you, too. I've wondered where you ended up," she murmurs, bowing her head.​

[ PENNED BY MARQUETTE ]​

​

 

[hyacinthbreath]

The exhaustion weighing heavily on her mind is nothing compared to the adrenaline that shoots through her body when she spots the calico, rushing over as fast as possible only to skid to a stop right in front of Pollenfur. She wants to be closer to her, wants to bask in her scent- but she knows she has to be patient. It's been a while since they've seen each other; what if Pollen didn't feel anything for her? Hyacinthbreath believed the distance brought further longing for Pollenfur, every night missing the calico- wishing she was sleeping beside her instead of across the rivers. "RiverClan," Hyacinthbreath exhaled a happy breath of air from her lips, tail twitching behind her. When her offer for fish is taken, the sound of a stomach rumbling from emptiness, Hyacinth takes a moment to look over her friend's body. "Oh, liebling.. What happened..?" She murmurs softly, moving close enough in an attempt to bump foreheads with her gently.

Achingly, her own sore stomach makes it hard for her to do much- but a twoleg pond would have some fish in it, wouldn't it? Or perhaps she could sneak close to the river by the twoleg camp. That could work, right? "Come," Is all the silvery molly says before she begins to pad towards the sound of trickling water. I've missed you too. I've wondered where you've ended up. "RiverClan was kind enough to take me in. I can't say the others were lucky, though. Coldsnap and Coalfoot, Yewberry and Galeforce... All of them, they're around the twolegplace now, or just wandering. I hope they found each other." Because I was too weak to save them. She shakes her head idly, the sound of twolegs chattering in the distance soon dying down. They must be sleeping, now. Far enough.

Leaning down into the river's surface, Hyacinthbreath dips her head under the cold water in favor of searching for a proper meal for the two of them. Her eyes flick side to side, head pulling itself out of the water in favor of catching her breath. Then, movement catches her eyes and pupils slit in focus as she moves down the stream over to a group of small little fish swimming circles. A paw reaches out.. One, two... Three! She yanks the fish out by its scales, hooking a claw under them and swinging it out of the water and onto land. A lucky shot.

The fish flops with life before Pollenfur, the silvery molly jumping out of the river to shake the water from her fur before she steps on the fish's torso. A grin. "Impressive, right?" She hums, thankful for the half-hearted lessons at fishing she's received so far. The fish isn't the largest she's seen, more on the smaller, scrawny side- the bones would be edible, then. Crunchy, delightful nutrition. "You can eat all of it, if you'd like. The head's a bit harder, but the bones in the body are crunchy. It took a while for me to get used to the taste of fish." She hums thoughtfully, swatting the fish with a paw- it stops flopping then. Sighing, she lifts the fish up and nods to Pollenfur, dropping it at her feet. "Try to breathe in before you take a bite. The taste is a bit.. overwhelming."​

❝ there are wounds inside me, gaping holes of disconnect.
can you drown inside your own body? can you suffocate within this mind? ❞