private sayonara | little wolf

[COBWEBTAIL]

She had volunteered. He thinks of her words too vividly, the emotion in her voice, the kind way she speaks. He thinks of it so much so that he can practically hear her besides him again. He still feels the horror that etched itself across his face, the dread that settled in his chest that still has not dissipated. What is he supposed to do in the wake of uncertainty?

If he loses her, then what? He loses a piece of himself, his dearest sister gone like that. Gone like Graystorm- he tries so hard to block the thought out of his mind. She was strong and she taught him a lot when they were younger, he remembers looking up to her with sparkles in his eyes. He’s taller now but he still feels like a kit again, trailing after his sister and huffing when she has to leave. His stomach twists and turns in every wrong way.

“Little Wolf,” he calls for his sister across the silent camp in a whisper, something heavy in a pale blue gaze. “Can we talk?” his paws carry him over anyways under the veil of moonlight they’re both splashed in. Under any other circumstances, he’d tease her about being up so late, brushing off any comments made about him being up late too. It seems tonight they both find common ground. “You can’t leave…” as he says it, his eyes brim with tears and it takes everything not to let them fall. “Teasing Raccoon and Lily is gonna get old. Teasing Berry’ll make me feel bad if I start now.” he tries to joke but perhaps she realizes that he’s deflecting.

Are you scared? He searches her gaze. I would be. Which is exactly the reason his mouth stayed shut, not even parting for a common yawn. He was no hero, but she was his- and perhaps she’d be the Clans’ too; some selfish part of him wants to cry about how she is needed here more than there. He doesn’t talk again.

⋆⁺₊ ⋆ ☾⁺⋆ ☁︎ info

• @LITTLE WOLF
• 
  -> cobweb, cobwebtail
  -> cis male ,, he/him ,, 39 months
  -> warrior of thunderclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> spindly, dainty blue and white tabby tom with half-lidded blue eyes
  -> “speech, 827aab”
  -> unknown sexuality ,, single
  -> smells like oak trees & an odd mixture of smoke
  -> image by gravecrypt
  

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[LITTLE WOLF]

In the days leading up to the journey, Little Wolf finds it increasingly difficult to sleep. Tossing and turning in her nest was starting to disturb others so instead she goes out into the camp and she tilts her head upwards to look up at the sky. The moon bathes her in its ethereal light, but it is the stars she is interested in right now. She wonders if when she travels all the stars would be the same. Would her father still be there to watch over her, to guide her paws on such a difficult journey? The answer is something that she does not want to think about and it leads down a path of thought that she does not wish to venture down.

If I die on the journey will I still get to go to StarClan and be reunited with those I have loved and lost?

A whispered voice breaks her out of her thoughts. She looks over her shoulder to see her brother calling to her. When he draws closer he asks 'Can we talk' "Always" she says, gesturing with her tail to the empty space beside her, sweeping away small rocks as she did and clearing a pot for him to sit comfortably.

She stays quiet when he speaks, tells her she cannot leave. She knew it would be hard for her family to let her go, they had always been together after all. She tries, for a moment, to imagine if the roles were reversed. If it had been Cobwebtail or anyone else would she throw herself on the ground and beg them not to go? She is not entirely certain. She knows she would be sad though. "Oh Cobweb..." her voice is a sad sigh, she does not want to leave them but "I have to" does he remember when he was younger and she had promised she would always watch over him, always protect him? Little Wolf loves her family more than anything else, would do anything for them. "I can't sit back and do nothing, I have to help" What kind of a big sister, mother, daughter, would she be if she didn't go?
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[COBWEBTAIL]

Her voice is a hushed whisper, a sad sigh... Something in her voice is final and he nods his head, however, not without tears that slip down his cheeks. He cries for her, for the unknown, weeps for Starclan to bring his sister back home safe. "I understand." his voice is shaky as he calms himself with a shuddering breath, gritting his teeth to force his signature smile. Little Wolf was a strong cat, someone who helped raise him and had her own kittens. Shes gone through countless events, ones that made her stronger... Surely she can put up with a small little trip.

She'll be okay. He repeats it like a mantra in his head, perhaps he'll begin to believe it...

"I'm just..." terrified. Of the unknown, of losing her, of losing their clanmates. "You are not allowed to not return, you know!" he phrases it as a joke but Cobweb is dead serious when he says this, his ears pinning back just slightly; his voice rises shrill at the end, he feels like hes beside himself in grief. Graystorms death destroyed him, he cannot even fathom Little Wolf not returning. "Protect them, yeah? Starclan knows they'll need it." he relaxes just slightly but its obvious hes still restless, paws shifting and kneading at the ground.

He stays silent for a heartbeat longer, it feels like it drags out. "I'll miss you. We all will." spoken from the heart he gives her a small little nod. "Just... Be safe. Come back to us and make sure Windclan doesn't try anything funny." he tries to joke again, cracking a half-hearted smile.

⋆⁺₊ ⋆ ☾⁺⋆ ☁︎ info

• 
  -> cobweb, cobwebtail
  -> cis male ,, he/him ,, 39 months
  -> warrior of thunderclan ,, former marsh grouper
  -> spindly, dainty blue and white tabby tom with half-lidded blue eyes
  -> “speech, 827aab”
  -> unknown sexuality ,, single
  -> smells like oak trees & an odd mixture of smoke
  -> image by gravecrypt
  

​