- Aug 1, 2022
- 214
- 46
- 28
A S H P A W.
They are not as close as some of the kids their age; Ashpaw has been a recluse for so much of their apprenticeship, they'd just never really gotten to know each other. She doesn't know if she'll even be welcome.
But Frostpaw is grieving and Ash knows grief. She has felt its clinging, cloying embrace drag her to the ground and she has fought tooth and claw to stand again. She feels it follow her everywhere, still. She sees it in spaces where someone used to be.
Where Pumpkinpaw used to be. Where her mothers used to be.
She knows that you don't escape grief. Not really. That you sit with it and you learn to live with it, and that when you finally stand again you are not standing over. There is no victory. You stand with its weight on your shoulders. You stand despite.
Ashpaw had—has—clanmates who share the load. She has Willowroot and Iciclepaw and Gillpaw and even more.
Frostpaw should have someone.
She ducks into the apprentices' den after tagging along on a hunting patrol with her temporary mentor. She gets a break for the next few hours, so she's gone looking for Frost, and when she spots the little silver tabby she'll pad over, pawsteps slow, green eyes soft and attentive.
"Frostpaw," she murmurs, and then... falters. She—she doesn't actually know what she's gonna do. She tries thinking back to what she wanted right after—
But that isn't helpful because all Ashpaw had wanted after Pumpkinpaw died was Pumpkinpaw. And she can't bring Greypool back.
Still she clenches her jaw and digs her paws in, determined to do something. Still quiet, she asks, "Is it ok if I sit with you?"
Should the girl oblige she'll curl up nearby, and once she's settled she asks, "You can tell me about Greypool if you want. She must've been a really great mentor."
But Frostpaw is grieving and Ash knows grief. She has felt its clinging, cloying embrace drag her to the ground and she has fought tooth and claw to stand again. She feels it follow her everywhere, still. She sees it in spaces where someone used to be.
Where Pumpkinpaw used to be. Where her mothers used to be.
She knows that you don't escape grief. Not really. That you sit with it and you learn to live with it, and that when you finally stand again you are not standing over. There is no victory. You stand with its weight on your shoulders. You stand despite.
Ashpaw had—has—clanmates who share the load. She has Willowroot and Iciclepaw and Gillpaw and even more.
Frostpaw should have someone.
She ducks into the apprentices' den after tagging along on a hunting patrol with her temporary mentor. She gets a break for the next few hours, so she's gone looking for Frost, and when she spots the little silver tabby she'll pad over, pawsteps slow, green eyes soft and attentive.
"Frostpaw," she murmurs, and then... falters. She—she doesn't actually know what she's gonna do. She tries thinking back to what she wanted right after—
But that isn't helpful because all Ashpaw had wanted after Pumpkinpaw died was Pumpkinpaw. And she can't bring Greypool back.
Still she clenches her jaw and digs her paws in, determined to do something. Still quiet, she asks, "Is it ok if I sit with you?"
Should the girl oblige she'll curl up nearby, and once she's settled she asks, "You can tell me about Greypool if you want. She must've been a really great mentor."
—— " i found gold in the wreckage "
- @frostpaw <3
-
- 6 month old orange tabby with green eyes
- apprenticed to lead warrior willowroot
- happy-go-lucky, mischievous, hardworking
- very friendly, but defensive of riverclan!
- "speech" -
- disclosed being physically and emotionally abused by Spiderfall, who was exiled & who then killed her best friend
- spent a couple months depressed
- returned to ic/ooc activify
