- Jan 5, 2023
- 383
- 49
- 28
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ- TW: MISCARRIAGE, ABUSE, DEPRESSION
The nightmares have been getting worse.
It was like every night that they woke up in a sweat, panic creasing their chest and wondering if that was the night they woke up back in the twolegplace. That everything had truly been a dream leading them astray in hope for change. Though thankfully they woke up in the warriors’ den more often than not, sometimes they woke up outside cause they felt like they had been bothering their clanmates.
Yet it felt lonely every time still even if they woke up alongside brimstone and ebony, or any of their friends. It was a harboring feeling in their chest, the sense of loneliness and being casted aside by those around here. Even if that was far from true- their mind plagued otherwise.
Tonight was no different, though the nightmare was more vivid than the others had been over the last few weeks. Like their brain was fully processing everything they had gone through in a move-like sequence.
It started with walking the pavement of twolegplace, down an alleyway, trying to figure out which was the forest was after just escaping the twolegs who had captured them. Everything felt li ke a fuzzy, like a cloud of white encased things around them, and then it’d cut to a different place in the city. They had wondered for hours, they remembered, and it felt so hopeless that they would never see another cat. That they would never see the likes of a tree again. Then it was like fate dropped into their paws in the form of a burly, black cat with square shoulders and burning heterochromatic hues. One of emerald, one of amber they remembered and he had white on his chest like a dash or something.
The vivid recollection of memories trilled through their head as these- happier memories surfaced. Laughing, playing, learning about the twolegplace and how to get around it. The times he would make them bundle over from giggles, how he smiled at her- how her chest felt. Jace had been something of a fairytale, something they had always wanted for themselves but never could seem to find it. He had been the reason to teeter on going back and staying in twolegplace. Why they had second guessed themselves so much and put so much in position for a life outside of her clan home. Though they would never tell a soul this. Not even her sister.
Though the nightmare morphed and shifted, giving way to when everything felt like it got flipped on its head. Jace had become cold, stand-offish. She couldnt leave his side, she couldnt be any where alone. She couldnt make friends, she couldnt talk to anyone. They never understood why. He would just get so- mad. The rest was blurred by like they had been looking into a pool of water for too long. They didnt know when it happened but this- horrific memory made a place in their vivid nightmare.
What it was they didnt know. But at some point in their time with Jace, they had woken up with severe pain. They hadn’t eaten in days, nor drank water as Jace was upset about something they had done. So they were being punished for misbehaving in his eyes. The pain had been so much that it had racked their body, made them sob for hours and they had to crawl away as to not disturb the black cat that had been at their side. Then the scent of iron was so strong- they didn’t remember what happened after that.
The world had gone dark, and the next thing they had known- Jace was on them. He had his claws out, he was swearing at them but it was so incoherent that they couldnt make out words in their dazed state. The morning sunlight was what they remembered next and their leg- their leg had been shattered and at a weird angle. The pain was something they couldnt even recall how much it hurt. They had been so numb at that point but something pushed them forward.
Towards Skyclan.
Towards home.
Honeysplash woke up a start and her breath heaved with her chest. The nightmare had been so real- and she looked down at her stomach. Her ears flattened slightly and she adverted her gaze to her paws before finding the bodies of sleeping clanmates around them.
Then laid their head back down and closed their eyes, praying to Starclan for something good.
The nightmares have been getting worse.
It was like every night that they woke up in a sweat, panic creasing their chest and wondering if that was the night they woke up back in the twolegplace. That everything had truly been a dream leading them astray in hope for change. Though thankfully they woke up in the warriors’ den more often than not, sometimes they woke up outside cause they felt like they had been bothering their clanmates.
Yet it felt lonely every time still even if they woke up alongside brimstone and ebony, or any of their friends. It was a harboring feeling in their chest, the sense of loneliness and being casted aside by those around here. Even if that was far from true- their mind plagued otherwise.
Tonight was no different, though the nightmare was more vivid than the others had been over the last few weeks. Like their brain was fully processing everything they had gone through in a move-like sequence.
It started with walking the pavement of twolegplace, down an alleyway, trying to figure out which was the forest was after just escaping the twolegs who had captured them. Everything felt li ke a fuzzy, like a cloud of white encased things around them, and then it’d cut to a different place in the city. They had wondered for hours, they remembered, and it felt so hopeless that they would never see another cat. That they would never see the likes of a tree again. Then it was like fate dropped into their paws in the form of a burly, black cat with square shoulders and burning heterochromatic hues. One of emerald, one of amber they remembered and he had white on his chest like a dash or something.
The vivid recollection of memories trilled through their head as these- happier memories surfaced. Laughing, playing, learning about the twolegplace and how to get around it. The times he would make them bundle over from giggles, how he smiled at her- how her chest felt. Jace had been something of a fairytale, something they had always wanted for themselves but never could seem to find it. He had been the reason to teeter on going back and staying in twolegplace. Why they had second guessed themselves so much and put so much in position for a life outside of her clan home. Though they would never tell a soul this. Not even her sister.
Though the nightmare morphed and shifted, giving way to when everything felt like it got flipped on its head. Jace had become cold, stand-offish. She couldnt leave his side, she couldnt be any where alone. She couldnt make friends, she couldnt talk to anyone. They never understood why. He would just get so- mad. The rest was blurred by like they had been looking into a pool of water for too long. They didnt know when it happened but this- horrific memory made a place in their vivid nightmare.
What it was they didnt know. But at some point in their time with Jace, they had woken up with severe pain. They hadn’t eaten in days, nor drank water as Jace was upset about something they had done. So they were being punished for misbehaving in his eyes. The pain had been so much that it had racked their body, made them sob for hours and they had to crawl away as to not disturb the black cat that had been at their side. Then the scent of iron was so strong- they didn’t remember what happened after that.
The world had gone dark, and the next thing they had known- Jace was on them. He had his claws out, he was swearing at them but it was so incoherent that they couldnt make out words in their dazed state. The morning sunlight was what they remembered next and their leg- their leg had been shattered and at a weird angle. The pain was something they couldnt even recall how much it hurt. They had been so numb at that point but something pushed them forward.
Towards Skyclan.
Towards home.
Honeysplash woke up a start and her breath heaved with her chest. The nightmare had been so real- and she looked down at her stomach. Her ears flattened slightly and she adverted her gaze to her paws before finding the bodies of sleeping clanmates around them.
Then laid their head back down and closed their eyes, praying to Starclan for something good.
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SPEECH
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HONEYSPLASH ✩ she/they, Warrior of Skyclan, 27 moons.
⭃A lithe, cream tabby cat with high white and green eyes.
⭃Younger siister to Orangestar, Applefrost and Apritcotflower and littermates with Blueberrybounce and Cloudberrythorn // Former mate to; Quillstrike
⭃peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
↛ see battle info here
⭃ penned by you ↛ wolf_1997 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
