private SEVEN DEVILS ALL AROUND ME [howlingstar]

[roaringpaw]

❝ IF I COULD BURN THIS TOWN ✧°.☀ ————————————
We're wasting herbs on him. Skyclaw's words are sharp and ruthless, ringing in his head at the worst moments ( when he's about to leap at prey, when he's sparring with a fellow clanmate, when he's about to fall asleep ) it is domineering, his senior's voice leaving him in a trance-like state. Less sleep, more training. Focus, focus, focus. Prove them wrong. Roaringpaw had always worked hard to please his less-welcoming clanmates, but lately they were louder than they've ever been. Never enough, nothing he did was ever enough for them. Nothing, zilch. Was that his worth? Would he always be the kittypet Angus and never the ThunderClanner Roaringpaw?

When he'd first joined, Roaringpaw had been akin to a midday sun. Bright and warm, welcoming and friendly to all his clanmates, no matter what; now, the sun had set, defeated by spiteful words and venomous glares. He was tired, and he could name several of his clanmates who shared the sentiment: Ploverhop, Sunshinespot, Leafhusk, Stormywing ( and even the poor Coltkit, who while young could still understand the coldness of every insult spat at him ).

The flame-point approaches Howlingstar before she retreats to her den for the day, his expression grim and body-movements sluggish ( no amount of overworking during training would earn him a smidge of acknowledgement from a select few clanmates ) and tail dragging on the ground. "Howlingstar," He greets his elder with a polite dip of his head, amber eyes tiredly meeting vibrant green. Now that he was here, he wasn't exactly sure how to bring it all up; besides, Skyclaw is her grandson. The apprentice sighs, sitting down and curling his tail around his body. He breaks eye contact, staring at his paws. "I overheard Skyclaw those days ago."

"speech" thoughts
OOC: @HOWLINGSTAR ex-kittypets are also welcome to join in on this thread!

[penned by nocthymia - ☀]

———————————— ☀.°✧ I WOULDNT HESITATE ❞ ​

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

The day weighs heavy on her shoulders as she makes her way for her den, sleep tugging at verdant eyes. Her nest calls to her aching paws, but before she can reach the lichen curtain she hears her name called by one of the clan's apprentices. She turns her head to see Roaringpaw approaching her, her ears pricking. "Hello, Roaringpaw. What is it?" She mews calmly, concern shining in her gaze. At first, she doesn't know what he's talking back, and she must search her memory a bit before the realization hits her. Her expression shifts to one of sympathy as she joins him in sitting down, her fluffy tail wrapped around her haunches. After a heartbeat of silence, she mews, "I'm sorry you had to hear those words. Skyclaw can be...blunt, at times, but his intentions are driven by a desire to see ThunderClan thrive." It's what she firmly believes, just like when Raccoonstripe stole prey from SkyClan. She sighs and shakes her head. "Sometimes...that drive can overshadow empathy. It is no excuse, though."

She pauses and looks at him for a moment, studying his form. His journey from being a soft-pawed kittypet to a ThunderClan apprentice had been one of courage and determination. Even when she herself didn't want him in her ranks, he pushed through and proved to her he had the resilience of a warrior. Like other former kittypets in the clan, he has faced challenges that many in the clan, not even her, fully understand. One thing is for certain, though: his dedication to training and his efforts in adapting to ThunderClan's ways have not gone unnoticed by the leader. Howlingstar's tone softens as she mews, "No cat's worth is determined by the opinions of others, Roaringpaw. You are valued here for who you are and what you bring to ThunderClan. You can shine brightly here...Skyclaw's words should not dim your light."​

 

[roaringpaw]

❝ IF I COULD BURN THIS TOWN ✧°.☀ ————————————
His eyes are still focused on his paws, downcast as are his ears. He still listens to his leader quietly. He knows that her words can be true, that Skyclaw wishes only for the best of ThunderClan - but yet, they are harsh and unnecessary. "Does he forget his blood is as tainted as he claims mine is?" Copperfang had mentioned SkyClan's founder and Skyclaw's father had been a kittypet once, too, and that had lit a fire inside Roaringpaw to prove that he also could be someone as memorable as Blazestar had been.

"It is not just Skyclaw." He mews solemnly, staring up at Howlingstar's soft sage-green gaze, remembering the day those same eyes stared at him when he'd first arrived in ThunderClan's camp. "Ravenstrike, Redflower, Yewflame. . . the newly - made warriors Briarsong, Darkthistle and Smokefur, as well. It is tiring to be under their scrutiny at every moment, Howlingstar." How good of a warrior can I truly be, with unpure blood coursing through my veins?

"I am trying as hard as I can, and I am not leaving ThunderClan - this is my home. But it's just so exhausting. Nothing I ever do is good enough."

"speech" thoughts
OOC: -

[penned by nocthymia - ☀]

———————————— ☀.°✧ I WOULDNT HESITATE ❞ ​

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[HOWLINGSTAR]

Howlingstar listens attentively, her heart heavy. She has never experienced Roaringpaw's struggles as a wild-born cat herself, but she sympathizes either way. Her first apprentice had faced similar prejudice, except back then it had even come from her - something she regrets now. The tabby shifts closer, her tail brushing reassuringly against his pelt in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. "I understand your frustration. It's not easy feeling constantly judged." Green eyes soften further as she tips her head to the side slightly. "You are young, and I can only imagine you came here with hopes as high as the clouds in the sky! But the hard truth is that not every clanmate is going to be on your side. Do you think I got to where I am today with a friend in every ThunderClanner? Of course not.” Sunnyday, Stagstrike, the list goes on of cats she did not get along with, cats who did not favor her and never have. No one is going to be liked by everyone, and Roaringpaw should learn that sooner than later. Cats will have their opinions, and nothing anyone can do will change that.

She pauses, choosing her next words carefully. After all, she is everyone’s leader, and she doesn’t wish to disrespect anyone. "Skyclaw and the others may see your past differently, but remember this: ThunderClan is a place where courage and loyalty matters more than blood. Your dedication is noticed, Roaringpaw,” Howlingstar mews warmly, a smile crossing her lips. "You have allies here who see your worth, and I believe in your potential. Just focus on your own path and don’t worry about anyone else."


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