shaking off the evil — johnnyflame

[DUSKPOOL]

anger makes you stupid . stupid gets you killed .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

The older warrior turned a molten copper optic upward, watching the sway of nearby pines, expression deadpan. He grumbled, stretching out his aching joints, cramped from being tucked against his body despite the semi-spacious nest that had seen better days. Duskpool hadn’t had the energy to toss out the wilting flowers he’d painstakingly added to the nest, Yukio adding more by the minute whenever they passed. Damnit. His flank rose with a gruff sigh, reaching a paw to press against his throbbing optic that burned with the motion. A reminder that he needed to sleep if he didn’t want to pass out in the middle of a damn patrol. Again.

Duskpool shifted, pulling himself upright with a tired grunt, heavy paws stepping over the drying bramble. He’d have to figure out somethin’ otherwise he knew he’d get cricks in his back from the harsh material, but staring at the wilting flowers made him pause, expression hesitant. “Damnit, Dusk.” He shook his helm to settle beside the old nest. I’ll do it later.

He hadn’t been the most prominent figure in camp, sinking further into the shadows like before, but never gone. Although looking at the pine trees made him question, why stayed—bringin’ nothing by death. He wasn’t absent, but he’d be damned if he stayed in that suffocating atmosphere with these damn nightmares sendin’ him back to things he’d rather forget. Nothin’ else worked, not if he wore himself to the bone and ended right next to ‘em. Maybe then he’d get some damn peace, but to leave cats he’d sworn to protect wasn’t somethin’ in his agenda. Even if the notion was tempting, he wouldn’t be selfish.

Duskpool shook his helm, tossing those thoughts to the winds. He rested his helm against the harsh bramble, ignoring how it poked at marred flesh, but it wasn’t if it’d matter much when he could barely see out of that optic, nothin’ more than rough shapes, but it was gettin’ worse. He shifted, splaying out with a sputtered cough, torn ear flickering until footsteps caught his attention. Molten copper narrowed, helm lifting to see Johnnyflame’s stocky build.

He blinked languidly, pulling himself into a sitting position with a grunt, fluffy tail curling around massive paws, staring at the other. “What are ya doin’ here?” He inquired, raising a brow. Duskpool had a sneaky suspicion, but he did not need the promise he made the other rearin’ its ugly head right now. “Comin’ to bring my ass back to camp?” His expression shifted, glancing wearily at the other before resting his frame against the brambled edging, ignoring the way it stabbed into his skin.

@Johnnyflame ​

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thought speech​

 

[Johnnyflame]

HE SAID, "WELL MY NAME'S JOHNNY, AND IT MIGHT BE A SIN
BUT I'LL TAKE YOUR BET, AND YOU'RE GONNA REGRET, CUZ IM THE BEST THERE'S EVER BEEN."​

---

To be blunt, Johnny was worried for Duskflame.

The tom had lost too much too quickly, and the way they were suddenly withdrawing from the clan had the stocky bobtail feeling anxious. What if Duskpool chose to leave? What if he disappeared alongside Thistleback and so many others? Those were among the more selfish thought permeated around in that head of his, but he wasn't without his concern for Dusk as well. Johnny couldn't imagine the grief they must be feeling, and while he couldn't pretend to have an answer that would bring about any piece of mind, the idea of Duskpool, lonely and miserable, hurting and isolated- it made him infinitely uneasy.

So yeah, he'd followed the tom out of camp that evening to see what they were getting up to on their own out here, and was only half surprised to find himself led back to a familiar tree out by twoleg place. He found them laying at their old nest, the moss dried and dusty and the flowers woven into it wilted from time. Realizing that Dusk wasn't the sort to decorate his nest in such a manner, it was hard not to frown when he realized who had probably done it.

Of course Duskpool wouldn't have replaced it. It was from Yukio.

"Was gonna." he admitted as he was called out by the other, not bothering to hide his intentions as he slowed to stand nearby, toeing absently at a pebble that was in his path. as he gazed down at the dirt in front of him.

He knew it wasn't his place. He and Duskpool had barely spent enough time together to be considered proper friends, and yet, the idea of him having to suffer alone out here made his heart twist for them.

"Would you be mad with me if I did?" he asked, sunny eyes lifting to rest on the exhausted looking tomcat.

---

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[DUSKPOOL]

anger makes you stupid . stupid gets you killed .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

Duskpool grunted, pulling scarred legs until they tucked beneath his frame, picking himself off the ground if only slightly until he was in a half-upright position. His body pressed against the bramble walls of the rickety nest, not nearly as sturdy as it was before, but that was his own damn fault. He leveled Johnnyflame a half-hearted stare, expression tired, but closed off.

He chuffed, dull amusement dancing within a molten hue, torn ear flickering. “No.” He admitted, curling a wooly tail until it rested idly across his flank. “Wouldn’t be surprised.” He rumbled, tucking his chin close to his chest with a rumbling sigh, molten optic fluttering shut before opening, staring at the pebble the other fiddled with, expression indifferent. He couldn’t blame the other, because hell, Duskpool promised, even if he hadn’t been all that willing. He had tired, but it seemed he landed right back where he started.

Made him wonder if stickin’ with the clan was a good thing, if not for himself, but for others because he was a thorn in the clan’s side. He wondered who else he’d have to watch before he finally got the damn hint to leave. He sighed, pressing a paw against his temple, muzzle wrinkling in irritation, not because of Johnny, but because of himself. “Real pathetic, aren’t I?” He joked, optic crinkling, expression blank because he was. He was a damn fool for thinkin’ any different. “Don’t seem to be doin’ much good.” He muttered, helm pivoting to stare at the wilting flowers, expression darkening like gathering storm clouds.

His thoughts drifted to his younger brothers, before shifting to Yukio’s bloodied frame, crumbling in a star-awful position at the sickening snap of bone. He shivered, barely noticeable, but visible if one looked hard enough. “Damnit.” He hissed, letting his paw drop to straighten out, holdin’ most of his weight.

“Seem to be breakin’ a lot of promises.” He grunted, hopin’ that was enough of an apology. He didn’t like apologizing, not because he was a heartless bastard, but because what good did it do? Nothing.

In the end, Duskpool ended up changing the conversation, or at least attempting if Johnnyflame followed along. He didn’t think he wanted to have that conversation with anyone.

There wasn’t much to say, regardless. He fucked up and stayin’ out here to wallow in his grief seemed like a good enough punishment as selfish as it was. He didn’t need anyone else dying because of him. “How are ya holdin’ up?” He inquired, peering up at the other from his half-sitting position, molten copper narrowing. ​

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thought speech​

 

[Johnnyflame]

HE SAID, "WELL MY NAME'S JOHNNY, AND IT MIGHT BE A SIN
BUT I'LL TAKE YOUR BET, AND YOU'RE GONNA REGRET, CUZ IM THE BEST THERE'S EVER BEEN."​

---

He was relieved when Duskpool admitted he wouldn't be angry, because in his heart Johnny wasn't sure he could leave the charcoal tomcat out there alone. Not just because it was dangerous and made for poor shelter in comparison to the camp, but because every instinct he had was screaming at him to leave Duskpool alone out there.

He must already be feeling so alone, and it made Johnnyflame feel like a helpless kit knowing they inteded to push it farther- that Duskpool wanted to just... fade away into the background.

"If you did, that'd be okay." he decided after a moment of thought. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been screamed at or seen the flash of claws. Johnny knew how to push, and sometimes he could push too far. Everyone had their limits. "You don't have to force yourself just to make me happy."

If Duskpool really wanted the space, Johnny would give it to him.

"Real pathetic, arent I?" the older tom joked, but Johnny couldn't bring himself to laugh- couldn't even bring himself to smile.

"No, Duskpool. Yer just sad right now is all." he replied softly, his bleeding heart running red all over the sleeve it was so proudly pinned to.

Many cats saw Johnnys altruistic and caring nature and thought him a good choice for delicate moments like this, but in reality, the bobtail considered himself a poor candidate for things like proper comfort. He felt for others too deeply, and likely every other aspect of his life that lacked subtlety, he cared 'too much'- or so he'd been told.

Not everyone wanted to be smothered, simply not a fan of Johnnys personal brand of care; physical contact, and acts of service. And quite frankly, he wasn't all that confident that Duskpool would be down for cuddles and doting on right now. Not everyone liked to be touched or cared for, and the last thing the patched tomcat wanted was to upset them farther by pushing into their personal space or making them feel like they were being babied. Bbut as the dark feline seemed to apologize before sharply changing the subject on him, Johnny couldn't help himself.

"I'm holdin' up well enough." he replied, abandoning his pebble-kicking to make his way over to where the warrior was half-sitting up against the nest. Pieces of bramble from the nest had gotten snagged in their fur, and Johnny casually sat down and began picking them out for the older tomcat.

"Been trainin' the newcomers, mostly. Keeping busy." he chattered while he worked, wishing he had a way to help brighten his clanmates spirits a bit. Surely Johnny talking about his routine days weren't going to bring Duskpool anything other than bordom?

"Brought Glimmerpaw out to the borders and she was able to identify em all without me telling her which was which." he added after a moment, a note of price in his voice. "'Course, it's pretty obvious I suppose when Riverclan smells like a river and Twolegplace smells so... twoleg-placey, but.."

He shrugged. "She used her common sense instead of just blindly guessin' to try and impress me, so she gets the points in my book." he decided firmly, stubbornly defending his apprentice all the same.

Brambles finally picked from the other toms fur, Johnny settled back on his haunches to sit across from them with a pleased look. 'That's probably more comfortable." he thought to himself, bobbed tail twitching in delight as his bright eyes shifted to meet with Dusks.

"There. Don't need you getting stabbed by stray brambles next time you lay down." he mused, before his gaze shifted back to the nest that had given them to him, worrying his lower lip as he tried to decide what to say.

"I won't make you go back to camp if you really don't want to be there." he relented, because as much as he didn't want Dusk to isolate himself and despite knowing the tom wouldn't be angry with him for forcing him to go back to camp, it felt wrong having them go back out of sheer obligation to some promise he felt guilty for breaking.

"But if that's your choice, your gonna need something fresh to lay on. We can either freshen up this nest," he paused, because he wasn't sure if Dusk wanted to part with these last remnant of Yukio, "or we could maybe make a new one somewhere else? There's a-a couple spots in my twolegs garden you could put one if you want. I know they wouldn't mind."

Under the back deck. In the little shed with the conveniently loose board. Hell, if Duskpool was willing, Johnny would walk him right through the fucking cat door and let him settle in one of the many beds placed around his twolegs nest for him. He was almost positive they wouldn't chase him out so long as Johnny made it clear he was a welcome guest- it wouldn't be the first time he'd brought a stray home, after all.

[/i][/i]

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[DUSKPOOL]

anger makes you stupid . stupid gets you killed .
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

He offered a shake of his helm, lips quirking in a half-hearted smile at the statement. It was rare to see anythin’ but indifference, the thought of bein’ mad for something like this left a funny feeling prickling along his skin. He remembered what it was like; being angry. It did little good. Made him more reckless, but the bastard sure deserved that fate, dying a long and gruesome death. Duskpool couldn’t find it in himself to feel sorry for the fool. He deserved what was comin’ and the warrior was all too thrilled to give it to him.

He hummed, letting the comment wash over him, expression deadpan while thoughts raged on. He offered nothing, simply letting a torn ear flicker in acknowledgment. Didn’t mean he believed the lead warrior, but Duskpool didn’t feel like arguing, not when he still couldn’t get a grip on things and toss out this damn nest.

He blinked, surprise lighting up within a molten hue, watching with half-lidded optics as the other picked out the bramble tangled up in his fur. Ah. He settled, letting tense muscles relax, listening to the other with an occasional rumble, torn ear flickering.

It was nice. Listening to Johnnyflame chatter about mundane things. It was appreciative, boring as hell, but he didn’t doubt Drowsypaw hadn’t thought of his own musings as boring. Lostmoon had joked about putting others to sleep with the drone of his voice, only for the older male to cuff him over the head affectionately, shooting back that he wasn’t that horrible. Huh. He was beginnin’ to wonder if that had some truth to it, letting a wooly tail twitch with an amused glint within a tired optic.

“Seems she’s doin’ good.” He rumbled, letting his thoughts drift to Drowsypaw. Things were goin’ alright, other than fallin’ asleep, but they sure put their name to good use. He nearly snorted, optic crinkling. “Stars know we need a few of ‘em with good enough common sense.” He grumbled.

He almost missed the warmth that Johnnyflame offered, but Duskpool had always been a loner (arguably not as much since he became a father), rarely asking but giving more of himself than he could bargain for. Not that he gave a damn. He’d gotten used to being ripped to the bone with nothing else but the few strands of fur.

With a tired grunt, Duskpool rumbled in quiet thanks, letting molten copper glide over his bramble-free fur with a crinkled optic, rigid claws drumming against his leg until they settled, crossing lazily, torn ear flickering in thought.

He expected the other to drag his sorry ass back to camp. He deserved it. He was a damn warrior, not some kit that couldn’t keep his shit together. He breathed deeply, flank rising with the motion. He had a reason, maybe not a good one, but the thought of gettin’ any closer to them made him weak in the knees. He should have stayed a shadow. He rumbled, muzzle wrinkled in a half-hearted smile, barely visible. “Wouldn’t blame ya for draggin’ my sorry ass back.” A molten copper gaze flickered up, watching the other. “Don’t be afraid of pushin’ kid. I ain’t that breakable.”

He stiffened, tossing a glance at the torn nest he hadn’t bothered to fix, shaking his helm. He grunted, pulling himself into a sitting position after his body protested its position. Damn bones. He didn’t miss the cold weather coming in, letting the slightly crooked leg rotate, tucking it closer to his heavy-boned body. He paused, letting the suggestion fall over heavy shoulders, expression conflicted, letting his helm turn, staring at the frayed bramble that poked and prodded his frame, keeping him from falling asleep for longer than a few minutes if he wasn’t wandering the territory in a faux patrol. Dangerous as it was to be walking alone at night, Duskpool didn’t seem to mind. He hadn’t done that since he moved back into the Warrior’s den, but now? He winced, glancing off to the left, watching the towering trees and undergrowth.

He hadn’t slept well since his brothers' death, and it didn’t thrill Duskpool to witness the event all over again, glued to the back of his eyelid. They were relentless. He sighed, shifting sluggishly. “I wouldn’t worry about that.” He rumbled, pivoting to watch the other through his peripheral. “I’ve been meanin’ to get rid of it, but haven’t put much effort in tossin’ it out.” He huffed, amused at his own weakness.

Duskpool hummed, gaze narrowing at the thought of stepping closer to the upwalkers, unable to stop the shiver that raced down the lengths of his spine. He knew well enough that not all upwalkers weren’t all awful, but to be near them didn’t sit well with the warrior, even if the intention was good. “I–” He paused, muzzle crinkling. “I’ll be fine and dandy. This nest here keeps me from sleepin’ much.” He decided on saying, letting his helm lull slightly to peer at the other, molten copper deadpan. ​

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thought speech​