private SHE'S RIPPING WINGS OFF OF BUTTERFLIES ✧ sootstar

[BLUEFROST]

Bluepaw feels more alone than she ever has.

Had Weaselclaw been any other Clanmate, Sootstar would have said a word or two over their body and bid them farewell with a brush of her stately muzzle. There’d be no time for mourning—there was patrolling to do, hunting to feed the Clan, borders to guard, tunnels to scrape out. She’d followed this example since she was old enough to sit up straight. Extraneous feelings like grief and rage—well, Bluepaw does not allow herself to feel them, and to see Sootstar so wretched over her father’s death has stricken her like his absence has not.

And now, now that she is not here by Bluepaw’s side, tucked away into the darkness of her den, Bluepaw feels lost. She has no father to run to, and her littermates—they are grieving in their own ways. She has no one, she realizes, no Wolfsong or Snakehiss like her sister, no Whitepaw. She has no one but Gravelsnap, and she does not feel comfortable seeking comfort from him.

He is a dear friend, but he is a Clanmate, and she has an image to uphold. Only her mother knows her truly—only her mother could soothe the burning wound inflicted by her absence, by her father’s.

When she approaches Sootstar’s den, it’s with trepidation unlike any she’s ever felt. “Sootstar?... Mother?” This second title she’s given her mentor causes her to flinch. It’s childish, full of a whimsy she has not felt since kithood. She tries again. “Sootstar, may I speak with you?”

✧ INFO.

• @SOOTSTAR
• 
  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​

 

[SOOTSTAR]

SOOTSTAR​

Since Weaselclaw’s death Sootstar was even less present in casual clan life than she had been before. When she was not in the tunnels she was in her den. When she was not giving orders and overhearing daily news with Sunstride she was in her den. Even in the dark walls she felt uncomfortable in her grief. His scent still lingered here, like he had only just left for patrols and would be back in the twilight. She’s been offered fresh moss, but she keeps to the brown and shriveled up bedding just to reserve his scent. Each day that passed it grew a little less prominent. She fears one day she’ll forget what he smells like. She has six more lives to give, how could it be that Weaselclaw has only been here for three? How was she suppose to die that many times and not come back to see his face? Her heart, it hurts… Everything else feels numb and cold. Her head feels like its spinning… A voice calls into her ded, she swerves her head. Bluepaw. Truth be told, Sootstar wanted nothing more than to dismissively flick her tail, but something inside stops her from doing so. ”…Yes, but it needs to be quick. I was going to sleep.” It was only midday, but Sootstar did not feel she needed to explain herself.

☾ INFO BATTLE

• 
  » Soot ․ Sootstar
  » WindClan Leader
  » She/her ․ Mate to Weaselclaw
  » Tiny blue smoke she-cat with green eyes.
  » "Speech" ․ thoughts ․ attack
  
• 
  » A high-stamina foe who can be difficult to hit.
  » Excels in quick, short moves.
  » Fights to kill and maim
  » Fatal attack of choice is an underbelly dive.
  » May powerplay minor harm. Can powerplay healing

​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Bluepaw is not sure what she expected from Sootstar. She knows the blue smoke is grieving her mate just as her kits are grieving their father, but she suspects this may run even deeper than that. Weaselclaw had been one of Sootstar’s first followers and by far her most devoted. Remembering the way he used to look at her—blue eyes shining with admiration, love for her raw and real on his every feature—causes her chest to ache with an unfamiliar broken feeling. She trembles, unaccustomed to the onslaught of emotion that begins to whip inside of her like fervent winds.

“Yes,” Sootstar says after several silence-filled heartbeats. “But it needs to be quick. I was going to sleep.” Bluepaw’s ears swivel forward, and uncertainly, she checks the sun’s position in the sky. It’s just past sunhigh. “Of course, Sootstar,” she says, swallowing the tremor in her response. “I just—” She steps carefully into the cool darkness of the leader’s den, suddenly feeling strange and vulnerable. She gazes at her mother’s form, small and curled into the withered moss of the nest she’d shared with her father.

Bluepaw blinks. Her eyes are shimmery with tears she refuses to let fall. “Are we going to train today?” She asks, and the today nearly breaks. She had not realized how full of sorrow this den is; she had not realized it would be harder to look her mother in the eye than it ever has been. She knows the answer just by looking at Sootstar, but she cannot think of anything else to ask. Are you okay? Can I lay in that nest beside you and cry? Neither are appropriate. Neither are sensical.

ooc ✧ 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝒸𝑒𝒶𝓃'𝓈 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈

•  
•  
• 

  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​

 

[SOOTSTAR]

SOOTSTAR​

Sootstar’s gaze hovers away in a silent refusal to look Bluepaw in the eyes. She stares at the wall as her daughter speaks, a quiet sigh heaving through her body. Training. She had not even thought about it, she’s not thought about much recently but the future without her mate. Not even the darkness of the tunnels sounds comforting, she just wants solitude and to be embraced by the cool walls of her den. ”No.” She says lightly, her voice exhausted. If she’s even noticed Bluepaw’s watery eyes or words that almost break she gives nothing to show it. ”Go out with…” Her mind stays empty, unable to think of a tunneler, ”…I don’t know. Ask Sunstride to find a tunneler to go with for the day.” And that was that for her. Assuming the conversation was over she coldly places her chin back down into her withered nest.

☾ INFO BATTLE

• 
  » Soot ․ Sootstar
  » WindClan Leader
  » She/her ․ Mate to Weaselclaw
  » Tiny blue smoke she-cat with green eyes.
  » "Speech" ․ thoughts ․ attack
  
• 
  » A high-stamina foe who can be difficult to hit.
  » Excels in quick, short moves.
  » Fights to kill and maim
  » Fatal attack of choice is an underbelly dive.
  » May powerplay minor harm. Can powerplay healing

​

 

[BLUEFROST]

Sootstar averts her gaze from Bluepaw’s. But they match, her torn heart cries. They match because you are my mother and I need you. When the WindClan leader speaks, it’s coolly and without strength. These are not orders barked by a queen, a warlord. They are suggestions, as though Sootstar does not care what her apprentices does to occupy her time. That stings almost as badly as the loss of her father does. “Go out with…” She seems to shrug in her thick pelt. “I don’t know. Ask Sunstride to find a tunneler to go with for the day.”

She hangs her head, distraught expression concealed by the waves that fall from her cheeks and ears. “Yes, Sootstar.” She stares at the earth—white paws knead the earth as though she can wring a better response from it. Sootstar has dismissed her. Perhaps if she had not shown such weakness, her mother would have invited her to come near, to share her nest and speak of days gone by, of the future that can still be bright.

It is my fault. Her father had despised weakness, too, in all of his kits but Cottonpaw. Searing anger begins to dry the moisture from her eyes, until it burns clean and empty within her. There is nothing left by the time she composes herself. Bluepaw lifts her green gaze to her mentor’s, and she is delicate again—she is beautiful, she is a kit Sootstar can be proud of, one worthy of carrying her legacy. “I will ask him at once.”

ooc ✧ 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝑜𝒸𝑒𝒶𝓃'𝓈 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒶𝓋𝑒𝓈

•  
•  
• 

  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​