SHORT DAYS AND LONG NIGHTS ♡ nightbird

[PALEFIRE]

This talk was a long time coming. Palefire would be lying if she said she wasn’t more than a little nervous. She’d been too ashamed to approach Nightbird since the incident with the wolves, as much as her heart urged her to make things right. And it seemed like ever since then, she could do nothing but continue to make her former mentor disappointed. The last push over the edge had been the sharp look of displeasure the black smoke had leveled her with, when her offspring had wandered upon Palefire and Skyclaw sharing tongues over a rather negative conversation about kittypets. In truth, Palefire didn’t even think she hated them anymore. She actually really liked some of them, but she was afraid to speak out against her childhood friend and risk losing him, the way she had all the rest.

But she was realizing now that Nightbird’s approval meant more to her, and at this junction in her life, she could really use a guiding paw. Since she’d been orphaned and raised parentless, Nightbird had been the closest thing to a mother’s influence she’d ever had. Strict and harsh as she could be, the lead warrior had shaped her into a finer cat than she would’ve become on her own, that much she was certain of. And now, when things were getting so messy and she felt as though her heart were being ripped apart by two opposing forces, she needed that stern guidance more than ever.

The slender lynx-point had waited until Nightbird’s brood had dispersed, off on their own little adventures and leaving her with an opportunity to get their mother alone for a moment. Her paws trembled slightly as she approached the nursery, and she had to clear her throat roughly before she managed to choke out a rather clumsy start. “Nightbird… I um, I was hoping that I could speak with you for a moment, i-if that’s alright…” Stars, why was this so hard? For a molly who was usually so confident and self-assured, she sure was doing a good job of becoming a blubbering mess.

Waiting for approval to continue, the pale she-cat pressed her belly to the ground, attempting to hide her nerves by tucking her paws under her chest as she settled in beside Nightbird. Icy blue eyes that were usually so filled with fire now submissively lowered to the earth. “I wanted to apologize to you. For what I did during the wolf attack. I never…. I never actually found the courage to say that to you.” Her tail swept through the dirt anxiously behind her. “For a long time, I wanted to tell you everything that happened that night, to try to explain myself… but I realize now that I would’ve still been making excuses, however true they were.” Her gaze rose to meet Nightbird’s now, tear-filled and swimming with sincerity. “I’m sorry for what I did. For letting you down. And for… for Sunfreckle. I’ll never be able to make up for that, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying.”

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‎‎ooc ♡ info

• [ @nightbird <3 ]

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  PALEFIRE ♡ she / her, warrior of thunderclan, 17 moons
  ⭃ lh lilac lynx point w/ low white and blue eyes.
  ⭃ currently emotionally withdrawn, all opinions are strictly ic.
  ⭃ single, padding after skyclaw / npc x npc / sister to bluestride.
  ⭃ mentor to meadowpaw and Ivorypaw / formerly mentored by nightbird.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted.
  ⭃ underline and tag when attacking.
  ⭃ penned by limerence ↛ @limericks. on discord, dm for plots.

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[nightbird]

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ a moment alone is hard to find, it seems at least one of her children is always intent on lingering. she doesn't know what she's done to deserve the starry eyed looks they give her, their draw to be near her flank. she tried not to get used to it. once their mind was opened to the world outside these walls, it would fade.

her apprentices had each held something similar in their gaze at some point. lightstrike had grown out of it sometime around their first argument, though, maybe it was never there. he'd always been a particular type of stubborn. nightbird remembers it more clearly with duskbird, when they first touched noses, the first time she guided him through the territory. the thought makes her ears twitch. memories dirtied with the image of his lifeless body between the jaws of a wolf.

palefire, even young, she didn't let much be known behind an icy blue gaze, kept her head down and worked. they were much alike, and maybe that was why it had irked her so. nightbird was more confident in passing the pointed molly onto warrior-hood than either of her prior students, she was proven wrong before the sun had its chance to warm the sky.

and maybe she had meant to seek palefire out, but starclan seemed intent on keeping them apart. things took priority over mending a wounded relationship, it was left to rot. she was forced to face it now, to witness the anxiously averted gaze she had grown used to seeing as nothing other than sharp. the queen's tongue passed across her muzzle at the mention of sunfreckle's name. the tom was a hearth to thunderclan, had saved her own tail in ways she had not thought possible. but palefire had not been the one to snuff him out with claws and teeth, it was those beasts.

the creatures that would have found thunderclan's camp either way, sunfreckle's fate would not have changed, it was childish to think he would have died any way other than protecting what he loved the most. "i am as much at fault as you," nightbird sighs, drawing a claw through the soft dirt under paw. it was her job to make sure her apprentices were sound, turned their noses to their peers when led astray. "but you've grown, learned from it. we both have. you cannot let this sense of debt drown you." it would be a waste of potential, she thinks. palefire could do great things, make a name for herself beyond a youthful mistake.

"it is not my forgiveness you need, palefire." it seemed everyone had moved on to the next tragedy, the only one still stuck in that night was palefire. damnation did nothing for a mistake, she needed to move on. "do the right things moving forward, the rest will come with time."

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ┌── THE CROWS IN THE GARDEN ⋅⋆⋅ ARE LAUGHING AT MY EXPENSE ──┐‎

• ooc ↛
  

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  NIGHTBIRD ✩ she/her, lead warrior of thunderclan, 35 ☾'s
  ⭃ a small black smoke molly with a white paw and pale silver eyes. currently a queen residing in the nursery.
  ⭃ mate to raccoonstripe / / currently mentoring none.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by vayle ↛ @vayl3 on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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