private shoulder to lean on ;; sparrow

[Fireflyglow]

@sparrowsong!

Greeneyes' rejection burns hot beneath his blood; they were just friends, they could never be anything more than friends. There was no reassurance in the way he turned and left him behind, rushing off to join the rest of his journeyfolk. They were just friends, and that's all they could ever be. That's all Greeneyes saw him as, and Fireflypaw takes that fact like a burning hot iron. His throat is dry as he swallows back his own nervousness, stepping over fallen bodies that wheezed and coughed around him in order to escape the thick confines of sickness. His tail taps along the ground, eyes sagging in exhaustion as he saunters out.

His stomach growls. A reminder that not only were they dealing with a plague, they were dealing with prey shortages, too. Was StarClan punishing them for something? His eyes touch the sky as he looks upwards, the starry blue above him unable to be seen past near-clear sky blue gaze. He wants so desperately to dream, to go to sleep and dream of his baby sister once again- to be comforted by her, reminded that he has purpose on this plane of existence. With his father sick, and Orangeblossom gone on the Journey, he knew the Council would struggle to decide on what would happen to the Clan. Everyone was so.. Different.

He doesn't pay attention to where he's walking- by the time he notices where he's going, he's already ran right into a much smaller body. "Oh! I'm sorry- Oh, Songbird-" He stutters out as he steps back, the scent of the chocolate tabby familiar. He sniffs away his tears, away his stress- putting on a shaky smile for them. They had just healed from the illness; what if the plague clung to him like a burr? He sure hoped not.. "I-I'm just.. Lookin' for some water. Throat is dry." He croaks, sniffing again. No, no crying. He couldn't cry. ​

SKYCLAN MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE ✦ 14 MOONS ✦ CHUNKY, BIG-FOOTED SEAL POINT ✦ TAGS​

 

[sparrowsong!]

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It felt as though Sparrowsong had been spending most of their time out of camp as of late. With so many of their warriors gone and so many more riddled by fever with no cure, it took all of their available paws to hunt, theirs no exception. Even so, it just didn't seem to be enough. There had been signs of theft along the border lately. A misfortune upon another pile of misfortunes.

Despite it all, despite the hunger being a near constant now as it gnawed at their own belly, Sparrowsong couldn't help the way their gaze wandered to the medicine den each time they passed by. When was the last time they'd seen him, they wondered? Trapped among the sick, fighting a losing battle... and now Blazestar was sick. His father, his papa.

The little tabby was determined not to return until they had caught something that day. Even if their paws ached as they finally padded through the entrance to camp, even if their head was low with weariness, even if the scent in their nose was a painful temptation, they had to keep on. Their friends would return. They had to believe it, and they had to be patient.

Depositing the squirrel upon the pitiful prey pile with a frown, the skinny tabby turned away in time to see Fireflypaw emerge from the den. For a moment their heart leapt in their chest, only to immediately sink. He looked so sad. They couldn't imagine the stress he had been under for moons now...

Gait raising to a trot, Sparrowsong hurried over to him, and in their haste and his blindness they bumped into each other. "Sorry!" they chirp at the same time, taking a step back to study his face. Oh, Songbird. They couldn't remember when he'd started calling them by that nickname, but it warmed their heart in a way they couldn't explain.

A distinct sadness washed over them then, watching as Fireflypaw tried to put on a smile. He was sniffling, crying―or at least, blatantly trying not to. Had something happened?

When he went on to explain his mission for water, they couldn't help but think back to the way he had so gently coaxed them into sipping at moss whenever possible despite their sickness, despite the way they had so often fought him. After a beat of silence they stepped forward, pressing their head into his chest while they searched for words.

"It'll be okay. We'll all be okay." A start, if only a simple one. While part of them wanted to step back to study his face again, another part of them wanted to bury further into mint-scented fur, a comfort they both shared, and they brushed their cheek against his shoulder.

Finally, they stepped back. "You take such good care of them," Sparrowsong said softly. "We couldn't possibly ask for a better medicine cat. Please rest... even if it's just for a moment." He looked so wretched, that for a moment they wondered if they would begin to cry themself.

Turning their head briefly, gray eyes flickered over to the fresh-kill pile they had just left. Their jaw tightened. When was the last time he had eaten, they wondered? Most prey that went to the medicine cats' den no doubt went to the sick, for what little they could eat.

Pressing their nose into his fur again as if to say wait here, they hurried off, snatched the squirrel, and came right back. Sparrowsong dropped it at his paws once they had been guided to the water he sought. "I caught this just a bit ago," they said. "You need to keep your strength up too. You deserve it just as much as the next cat." If not more.​

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[Fireflyglow]

Sorry! It's in unison that their voice rings out as well, Fireflypaw taking a hesitant step back as to avoid making them sick- what if the illness clung to his fur, even though he himself could not catch it? His tail briefly taps against the ground in anxious fours; one, two, three, four. Repeat, rinse, repeat. It's almost terrifying how close he could get to harming his friend. He thinks momentarily about Greeneyes, the orange and white tabby on that long journey in the mountains. He misses him more than anything, but his rejection lies plainly on his heart- heavily weighing there. It takes Sparrowsong pushing their head into his chest for him to finally come back to reality, lips wobbling as fat tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

Such a crybaby! He scolds himself, though the comforting voice of Sparrowsong allows him to keep his head. If only for a moment, Fireflypaw leans his head into Sparrowsong's own, soaking in the comfort they offered if only just for a moment. Just a second, before he had to go back to being the unwavering medicine cat everyone would know him as. He had a reputation to keep up, after all. If he was known as the crybaby medicine cat, that wouldn't look too good on him, would it? He blinks away his tears.

You take such good care of them, They say, and Fireflypaw nods his head in agreement. He had to, because they meant the world to him. Everyone in his clan was like family to him. In the past, perhaps, Fireflypaw would have prioritized his father over the rest, but now he had a job to do- and that was to help everyone, no matter where they come from. Sniffling away his tears, Firefly listens as Sparrow prods him and walks away for a moment, returning with the scent of fresh-kill that has his mouth watering. He feels guilty taking the food from them. "But.. The others, they need it more than I do." He mumbles, deep in his chest as his paw rises to prod at his stomach as if to make a point. He could do without eating a bit longer, couldn't he? Though, something felt like Sparrowsong wouldn't relent on this. So, instead of fighting over it, Fireflypaw takes the squirrel delicately and bites into it, tearing into flesh hungrily and gulping it down slow enough not to get a belly ache.

It isn't until there's merely scraps left that Fireflypaw pulls away, a soft rumble in his stomach soon dissipating into silence. Satisfied, Fireflypaw gives his friend a gentle nuzzle before he begins to wash his face of the blood that'd caked itself onto him. "Thank you." He utters the words like a prayer, though something twinges inside of him at the thought of the little tabby putting him before themselves. "I.. I'm scared, Songbird."/b] He finally admits so softly, as if speaking those words would cause him to break. "What if I'm not good enough? What if- What if the reason all these cats are dying, is because Mother believes I'm unfit to be a medicine cat? What if this is an omen?"​

SKYCLAN MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE ✦ 14 MOONS ✦ CHUNKY, BIG-FOOTED SEAL POINT ✦ TAGS​

 

[sparrowsong!]

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There it was. As they looked into his eyes, the glistening tears finally began to fall, and their face twisted further. He leaned down, head bumping theirs tenderly, and they pressed up into it, not caring as his tears dampened their own fur.

Being sad was sometimes the only way to be guided onto the path of feeling better. Sparrowsong knew as such. They wouldn't tell Fireflypaw not to be sad. After all, they were sad too. Sad for their friends, sad for him, sad for the pain everybody was in. It weighed heavy on their heart. Their inability to help, to do anything but wait and pray.

With no herbs to cure them, the dark point no doubt felt worse; but if they could ease his burden, if only a little, they would try. He deserved that much, that kindness, didn't he? After everything he had done for them all.

Presented with the squirrel, the medicine cat apprentice's first instinct was to reject it, to insist that the sick needed it more. Their throat tightened further. Instinctively they shook their head wordlessly, then paused. Before they could say more, however, the tom relented. Relief eased them, if only a little, and they watch him tuck into the meal. With a blink they look away, gray eyes flitting about the clearing and searching for nothing.

Thank you, Fireflypaw says, and they look back to him, to the remains. As wishful as they were, happiness tweaked at their heart to know he would feel better with something in his belly to keep him going. He leaned in, nuzzled the tabby, and a small purr rose in their throat, returning the gesture. When he began to groom himself, they didn't hesitate in assisting, eyes closing and tongue swiping over pale fur.

He pauses to utter an admittance, one that makes them pause. Leaning back, they looked into his eyes. One by one, his woes are spoken, the soft hesitance enough to finally make their own tears fall. "No, no," they whisper, head shaking slowly before pressing their nose to his cheek.

They knew of his belief in the one called Mother, shared with his mentor, and not quite that of StarClan. It confused them, but they were hardly one to reject it, and they let him speak. "You are," they assert after a moment, continuing to groom and speaking between licks. It was a comfort, for them and him both. "You are good enough. You shouldn't doubt yourself so much."

Stepping around the remains of the squirrel, Sparrowsong pressed their pelt into his to sit down beside him. "You've worked so hard to get to where you are now," they murmured. "It would be cruel to do that. This isn't... this isn't your fault, Fi. You're doing the best you can. I know you are. You always do." Their quiet voice cracked, and they took a moment to nuzzle into his fur.

"I don't think it's an omen. StarClan is helping us. They- they gave us a sign, a way to find a cure we don't have. They want to help us. I don't think this was meant to happen. Nobody deserves to suffer like this." The tabby breathed a quiet sigh. "I'm sure they both know you're trying as hard as you can."

Even if it took until the moon rose, they would sit with him and whisper reassurances until his tears dried and that gentle smile returned. "I'm scared too," they admitted. "But I'm... I have faith. Everything will be okay." It had to be, right? "They see you. They see how much you care. I see how much you care. I wouldn't ask for anyone else."

Once again, they pressed their face into his shoulder, their own tears dampening his fur. "Even if they didn't believe in you, I do. Please take care of yourself too, okay?"​

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