private sigh on a hurricane ❀ family time

[lilacfur]

"There's still some mushrooms under here. Might be the last we see for a while." Lilacfur ducked her head beneath a rain-sodden branch, fallen long before her paws traversed the marshes, gesturing to the white-capped growth in its shade. There's a strange aura of warmth that permeates from the soil as if the lure them closer into the comfort of decay.

The rosette doesn't creep any closer, mostly due to the fact she didn't want to bother with muddying her paws any further, but she wouldn't object if either apprentices did. "You know whats strange, the prettiest flowers always seem to follow where mushrooms grow. It's curious to see how the forest works within itself." Lilacfur paused, her eye resting blankly over the mossy ground as she continued to beat around the reason she brought her kits out of camp. Sycamorepaw would be used to it, having her as his mentor of course. But Marblepaw was missing time that was vital to her training for herbs just as Sycamorepaw was with refining his hunting skills. She couldn't waste percious time needed to prepare for leafbare.

Each passing moment was proving more difficult, however. Lilacfur loved her children like she never loved another cat before, but being truthful with them was a challenge when the start of their lives as ShadowClanners was met with so much resistance. When their attachments to her and their closer kin was, for the most part, all they had or wanted.

"How would you guys feel about being big siblings one day?" There's no lead up to the question, she's abandoned trying to find a way to ease into the topic. "Having younger siblings, more family to meet... does it sound nice?" Lilacfur is realizing with encroaching anxiety that maybe she should have asked them this earlier. Her and Mirestar already had kits on the way, too far to undo now. Stars- did they even catch on that the two were together now? Was she supposed to tell them that, too?

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• @MARBLEPAW @Sycamorepaw!
  
  

• 

• LILACFUR ✩ she/her, 22 moons, mother to marblepaw and sycamorepaw
  ⭃ lh lilac rosette with yellow eyes (carrying cinnamon, solid), a torn left ear, missing her left eye and most fur from a multitude of claw-marked scars
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by this loser ↛ @gonkpilled on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[MARBLEPAW]

"Mushrooms can't heal anything," Marblepaw dismisses the sight with a shrug. They are neat, she supposes — they are a lovely sight, though she can't help but think of the wildflowers strewn through Celandinepaw's territory. They've got... well... knobs of bone-colored fungal matter instead. Her nose twitches with amusement; she turns to her brother, wondering if he'll find more interest in them than she.

Lilacfur seems to hear her thoughts. The lead warrior has always found beauty in their marsh, even though Marblepaw, even after seven moons stuck here, seems to struggle in that regard. The young she-cat smiles and says, "But if you really want to see pretty flowers, you should look toward the WindClan border." It's said with the innocence of a she-cat who will never spill another cat's blood in battle; it's said with the naivete of a healer whose boundaries are etched in lore, not stone.

Her mother isn't interested in hearing about WindClan's wildflowers, though. She wasn't even interested in pointing out mushroom growth in the marsh. Her real question pours forth, the point — "How would you guys feel about being big siblings one day?"

Marblepaw pauses in her tracks. She turns to regard Lilacfur, whose anxiety gleams palpably in her single amber eye. "You mean with Mirestar," they murmur, and though there is no heat behind their words, there is nothing soft or welcoming, either.

The medicine cat apprentice considers Lilacfur's hypothetical for a long moment. Her relationship with Sycamorepaw had always been a blood bond, one of hardship — there is no other living cat who had experienced starvation, withering leafbare cold, and the cruelty of the Twolegplace. After they'd become ShadowClan transplants, their relationship had shifted; their survival became dependent on other things than reliance on the other. Sycamorepaw had begun his warrior training, and as a result of being Lilacfur's apprentice as well as his son, had grown closer to her as a result.

Marblepaw thinks of the relationship she has with Lilacfur now. She remembers kneeling beside her mother's sickbed; she remembers applying a fresh poultice to a bleeding eye socket, remembers offering numb-lipped prayers to the stars for days. She had risen; she had returned to her duties only moments later.

She thinks of Lilacfur twining her tail with Mirestar's. That is where your new comfort is, she thinks. Bitterness, unlike any herb she has bitten into, coats the inside of her mouth. She will have nothing in common with these kits; that much is a given. They will be raised by the ShadowClan leader and their lead warrior, encircled by the Clan, warm and snug inside densely-packed dens and tightly-woven nests. They have no traitor's blood. They will never have scrapped, begged, and hungered on ShadowClan's periphery. They will never meet Betonyfrost's ire, Swansong's doubts, will never hear the word rogue whispered around them like a curse.

"If that's what you want, you should do it," she finally mews. She turns her face away, as if to study the mushrooms again. "You should do whatever makes you happy."

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: —
• 
• Marblekit . Marblepaw, she/they w/ feminine and non-gendered terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 9 moons old, ages realistically on the 1st.
  — mentored by Starlingheart ; mentoring n/a ; previously mentored n/a
  — shadowclan medicine cat apprentice, formerly a rogue. siltcloud x lilacfur, gen 3.
  — currently mated to n/a.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  sh fawn tabby with dull green eyes. courageous, curious, introspective, observant, judgmental, snarky.
  
  

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