private sing a song of query |➹| orangeblossom

[sparrowsong!]

..╭―――――――――――――――|➹|―――――――――――――――╮

.

It was happenstance that the two of them had met up in the pine forest of SkyClan. Both on a hunt, both tracking the same squirrel. The deputy had gone in first, themself pulling up short just in time to allow the successful catch. With it limp in her jaws, Sparrowsong couldn't help the giggle that escaped their own.

Sparrowsong liked Orangeblossom. She was respectable, and did well to raise a litter of kits that now trained under mentors of their own. With the squirrel buried for later and themself descending into idle chatter, they were surprised when the scarred molly engaged, hunt forgotten. Something had been caught; a break wouldn't cause harm.

The chocolate tabby had enjoyed visiting the queens in the nursery the play with the kits and occasionally give the parents a break from the hyper bundles of fur. It was exhausting work, that much they could tell.

Conversation tipping in a slight turn, they looked over at Orangeblossom. "Orangeblossom? Do you ever miss being in the nursery? With your kits?" they elaborated after a moment.

They weren't quite sure where the thought had come from. They were thinking of their younger siblings then, remembering how they'd all tumbled about with starstruck eyes full of wonder at the world. While not related by blood, their colony had been family all the same.

Was that why they'd been so drawn to the kits in the nursery, they'd wondered? They'd missed the feeling of being around such young kits, teaching them about the world. It had felt familiar to them.

"Does it make you sad to not be with them anymore?" came their quiet voice after some silence. A pale paw scuffed the earth. It was different, though, they recalled belatedly. The queens, former and current, would be able to see them all grow up into warriors.​

.

..╰―――――――――――――――|➹|―――――――――――――――╯

 

[Orangestar]

ORANGEBLOSSOM — tags​

Running into Sparrowsong on a hunt - almost literally - is a rare and pleasant surprise. They're good company, quiet and thoughtful. Though she occasionally goes to call them Sparrowpaw once in a while, new name still not one she's used to, there's no denying that they've more than earned their place as a warrior. She thinks Sparrowsong will make a fine mentor, too, though maybe not for a few moons yet. There's something to be said about earning confidence in knowledge before earning the chance to pass it on. But they're trustworthy, and diplomatic, and a multitude of things that Orangeblossom has always seen in her siblings but never herself.

"Sometimes." She admits, a twitch of her ears betraying her thoughts. She spares a glance to the treetops, rewarded by the flight path of some small songbird between branches; but they've been successful on this impromptu patrol, and she has no reason to pursue it. "I'm glad to be able to hunt again. I've missed being a warrior, being a deputy. I ..." She trails off with a small hum, and glances around as if expecting one of her kittens to come barrelling through the trees. When they don't, she continues in a soft hesitance: "But I don't know if I would ever do that to myself again."

Orangeblossom doesn't think she's particularly fit for motherhood. She has always caught with her claws extended, too tough and too worn to treat these little fragments of herself like the youth they deserve to have. She remembers little firsts, five times over; but, similarly, she remembers every time she's had to scold one of her kittens for playing too hard or being impolite. And every time, a part of her winces and withers under the strain of being a deputy first and a mother second.

She continues as if her muzzle hasn't pulled slightly into something saddened: "But at the same time, yes. I miss being with my kits. It's incredibly interesting, watching a kitten experience life for the first time."

Orangeblossom blinks at Sparrowsong then, placid in her neutrality for once. Maybe it's the greenleaf air, or maybe it's just the conversation, but she's at peace. "Why do you ask?"​

 

[sparrowsong!]

..╭―――――――――――――――|➹|―――――――――――――――╮

.

Sparrowsong is quiet, attentive, as Orangeblossom gives her answer. Occasionally, she relented, and she mentions having missed the duties of a warrior and deputy. Although only briefly, a frown tugs at their lips following her next statement.

I don't know if I would ever do that to myself again. They turned it over in their mind, uncertain as to why the wording upset them in a way they couldn't describe. Rather than say anything, the warrior looked up to her again when she continued. She seemed upset too, in a way.

Finally, Orangeblossom concludes that she does miss the proximity she had with her kits, and Sparrowsong hummed. Momentarily, their gaze wandered, flitting from tree to tree as if they could spot the bird they had heard chirping heartbeats earlier.

"I'm not sure," they said uncertainly when the conversation turned back to them. A quiet fell, although not uncomfortable, as they allowed themself to collect their thoughts.

"Back in... Twolegplace," they began, "I had a litter of little siblings I would often watch and play with. They used to be so little, with their fur sticking out everywhere and their tiny little paws and noses..." A smile tugged at their maw, if only briefly.

"Even when they got bigger, I guess I never really stopped viewing them as those tiny kits." Sparrowsong paused. "I guess sometimes I just... miss being around them, and watching them learn and hearing their little giggles. I miss them." Then, after breaking off for longer, they added, "maybe sometimes I wonder what it would feel like if I had kits of my own someday. How different it would be."

The difference between joining them for play time and raising them from their first breath. The difference between being there to protect them when they previously hadn't been there. The raw love their mother had felt, speaking their names with such tenderness buried in something more than fondness. They... they wanted that connection, they thought. Their jaw tightened.

"I wasn't born to my mama and papa, but I want to share the love that they gave to me. To feel what they felt." Maybe they were just being silly now. Sparrowsong sighed. "I guess that's a long ways away."​

.

..╰―――――――――――――――|➹|―――――――――――――――╯