private SINGLE ME OUT // sedgepounce

[bunnypaw]

Bunnypaw has a spark - a rare but small flame that burns in her chest whilst she waits for Sedgepounce. Normally their days are spent by the borders, recalling the details of the cats that hold fast to them. And normally, the young she-cat freezes, fearful that the neighboring felines may drag her down and feast on her flesh like hungry dogs. Every sun down, her siblings tell her she is ridiculous for this fear, and her many encounters with the other Clans suggest as much too. Bunnypaw notes regardless that her skittish nature seems to be wearing on her mentor, so when he approaches, she's quick to speak.

"ThunderClan is the small border by fourtrees," she begins, "A- a twoleg path separates us and them. They like to hunt in the undergrowth. ShadowClan is across the thunderpath, and they're really good with hiding in the shadows. And - and their leader is... Smogstar," a changed fact by now, but no WindClan cat knows that yet. "Orangestar leads SkyClan. Her deputy is - er... Twitch... Twitch... Ah! Twitchbolt. We do not share a border with them. And RiverClan -" Bunnypaw sucks in a breath, clearly rattled by the water-loving felines nearby. Her teeth clench and snap together, "We have a bridge, that goes to them. They swim and they fish." She speaks quickly, succinctly, to nudge the information out of her mind. It's almost as if she wishes to discard it.

"I - I know these things, Sedgepounce. I'm not - I'm not -" stupid. She shivers slightly as she tries to hold onto the fire she had. "I just - I don't know. I can't... under pressure... I - but I know things. I'm not... not learning. I just get scared, and -" Bunnypaw's breath hitches, and she looks at her mentor, clearly deflated now. "I want to be a good apprentice. I'm sorry I'm not one, but I'm trying."

@SEDGEPOUNCE ​

 

[SEDGEPOUNCE]

Sedgepounce is not sure what to do about Bunnypaw. It's something he's come to terms with over the past moon, of weeks of uncertainty and doubt. Every time he thinks he's made some sort of headway, they reach a wall—Bunnypaw creeps just inches out of her spiny shell and then something sends her skittering back into the dark. No matter how many times they patrol the borders, she clams up at the sight. He assures her that there's nothing to fear, and even though she nods along it's like she doesn't even listen. Along every inch of the territory, Bunnypaw glances this way and that with these big, fearful eyes, trembling like a rabbit ensnared by a hawk. She's never even seen a predator before—at nearly her age, Sedgepounce had already been face to face with one.

So, he doesn't know what to do. Exposure seems to do very little in chipping away that bubble of anxiety, and he's quickly running out of ideas. He knew that having an apprentice was a responsibility more than anything, but...he didn't think it would always feel like a chore.

It's morning when he approaches her now. The sun is shielded behind whirling gray clouds, heavy with distant rain, casting the air in a peaceful, cool mist. They'll try something simple, he thinks. A little hunting patrol. To catch some field mice before they hide away from the weather.

Before he can get the chance for a "good morning" and too-strained smile, Bunnypaw explodes. Her voice is still small and lilting, but the suddenness of it shocks Sedgepounce to eye-blinking silence. "ThunderClan is the small border by Fourtrees. ShadowClan is across the Thunderpath." A small smile creaks across Sedge's face, and with each addition it grows wider, and wider. It's all stuff he's been trying to share, usually met with only nods or squeaks in return. And yet Bunnypaw, apparently, retained it all. Maybe he's not such a failure at this whole mentor thing!

And then Bunnypaw finishes, and that burgeoning hope is swiftly shattered.

"I—" Sedge starts. A heavy burden of guilt pushes over him, a harsh and festering thing. She looks so...sad. And it's—it's his fault.

Stars, what would Rattleheart think?

"You are a good apprentice, Bunnypaw," Sedgepounce meows sadly. "And—and I should know, 'cause I was actually a really bad apprentice."

On the fringes of said confession, the tom lowers himself to sit, feathery tail nervously curling and uncurling at his side. He smiles ruefully as he speaks. "I, like, never listened to my mentor. I was constantly slacking off and getting into trouble. I didn't really care about anything unless I thought it was entertaining. And I—" he looks to her intently, "—I never tried."

He often correlates his old mentor to Bunnypaw in his mind, but it's dawning on Sedgepounce that this might be an unfair assumption. Doompath was a coward by choice. He treated simple things like curiosity and passion as though they were overwhelming and strange—as though Sedge were some ridiculous, overbearing presence for asking questions, being excited. He refused to change or grow or adapt to the pressures of being a mentor and Sedgepaw, unfulfilled, ignored him for it. They both just kind of...tolerated each other. Sedgepounce doesn't even really miss him, now.

He sighs. "I think...I think the problem is that I'm not being a very good mentor," he says. Perhaps part of his problem is that Sedgepounce has never had to try. The technical parts of apprenticeship were a breeze for him. He could absorb information like a sponge, pluck a lark from the grass without a care. It made for an easy apprenticeship, but for a terrible, uneducated mentorship. A fault which Bunnypaw suffers for. "Your only job is to try. It's my job to teach you in a way that works for you..."

A thoughtful frown crosses his features, the cogs of his brain churning in real time. Then, Sedgepounce brightens. "Why don't you pick what we do today, huh? Like, totally whatever you want. We could just...hang out, even!"
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