Sinking deeper and deeper in calm embrace || Coyotepaw

Sporecloud

Please Excuse my French
Oct 11, 2022
35
6
8

No matter how cold it was, no matter how bad the weather was, Sporecloud would always come to Leopardclouds grave. She wasn't sure if she would ever truly move on, Leopardcloud was her first love. A love that was cut too short, and it wasn't fair. Sporecloud had struggled silently with her grief, and its symptoms had weakened her.

She was thinner and a little more ragged, but having finally reached acceptance for the hand fate had dealt the two lovers, she was ready to begin healing.

But she would always return to this grave. Always let herself believe that Leopardcloud was sitting next to her. It was a comforting thought, knowing that she wasn't truly gone. It let her sleep at night.

She couldn't help but recall the raid, and what she had said to Leopardclouds wayward son before she passed out.

It was cold, she realized. In the heat of the moment she had felt stung. Now that she could think clearly, she wanted to apologize.

This was where Coyotepaw belonged. This was his home, where his mother and sister are.

If Windclan came marching to their borders again like the impudent, entitled rats they were, she would not let them live. All they do is take.... Like parasites.

And parasites should be killed.

But that was for another time, for now she would rest calmly next to Leopardclouds grave, enjoying the peace and quiet.

((@Coyotepaw))
 
Angry at all the things I can't change
When the request that Sporecloud wished to meet him met his ears he was filled with a sense of dread all over again. Not that the feeling every truly left. It was more of an ebb and flow coupled with other various worries that plagued him throughout the day. Cautiously he stands to his paws, low hanging sight surveying the area for any encroaching paws. When none penetrated his field of vision he quickly shuffled his way out of camp with his guard in tow. He didn't want to give anyone an opportunity to scold or reprimand him further if he didn't have to. Exiting camp and standing outside its walls were like a breath of fresh air, free from the choking stagnation of tension and animosity constantly surrounding him. The glares that set his pelt ablaze could not reach him here and for that small barrier along he was grateful.

But his brows still pulled together warily, afraid of what the spotted warrior wanted from him, of what she might say. Eyes remain trained upon the ground, following quietly behind Silversmoke as the tom lead him to Sporecloud's place of meeting. Eventually the man stops, prompting Coyotepaw to halt just short of bumping into him. With half a mind to apologize he parts his maw before ultimately closing his mouth again because words refuse to flow. Dull green eyes find the tip of Sporecloud's tail and just beyond her the marker that indicates his mother's grave. Honeyed ears fall against tufts of wild flaxen fur, pelt prickling at the memory of the warrior's words. "...She's weeping in her grave."

"N-no, no..." Lungs heaving he fumbles back several steps, eyes heavy with grief as he stares upon Leopardcloud's grave. Weeping, she had to have been wailing, crying; it was as if he could almost hear his mother's tears of anguish over the path he'd walked. Was the purpose of being brought here to torture him further? To continuously remind him of his shortcomings? "I can't do this, I can't be here..." Why did she request to meet here of all places? Tears threaten to gather in his eyes, voice cracking with youthful adolescence as he finally speaks, low and trembling. "Why?" A single question that held so much weight he felt as if he'd be crushed for uttering it. "W-why did you bring me here? T-to convict me of my sins by bringing me to the grave of my weeping mother?" Notes of anger began to seep into his voice, clashing with sorrow. "That's low...even for you, A-amanita." Coyotepaw whispered. Translucent claws stabbed at the earth beneath his paws, glowering at the muddied ground vehemently. (guard tag! @SILVERSMOKE)
when you're lost in the universe don't lose faith
 
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He heard him approach, and there was a brief annoyance at Silversmoke being there. She understood why he was there, but that didn't mean she had to like it.

But when Coyotepaw spoke, she was almost insulted. Did he think her to be so cruel?

"That is not why I asked you to come here." She said.

"I asked you to come here because I wanted to apologize." She continued, looking back at him.

"To you...And to Leopardcloud... For what I said during the raid. It was wrong to say that to you, to take her name in vain like that. You were only trying to keep everyone safe by leaving.... And that snakehearted wretch forced you to hurt your true family."

"But you came home, and that's what matters. You're a Skyclanner. You'll always be one in my eyes." She added. "Can you... Forgive me?"

She dreaded his response. He had no obligation to accept her apology, and she understood that. Even if the clan hates him, she would protect him.

Because her eyes had certainly been opened..... To how some of them may have viewed Leopardcloud. And that was a prospect she didn't want to dwell on for the sake of her sanity.


 
Angry at all the things I can't change
The silence that follows his words are tangible, it clings to the building tension and threatens to send the remainder of their conversation plummeting. But Sporecloud's words are soft, reassuring, poised with careful consideration and confidence. "That is not why I asked you to come here." His brow pulls together further with visible confusion. He could not see any other explanation for being here outside of ridicule and belittlement. Yet it never comes and the following words are that of an apology rather than judgment. Claws that pierced the earth below to keep him grounded slip back into their sheathes as he listens, considering her words. "It was wrong to say that to you, to take her name in vain like that." The boy's lips pull into a small frown. Although she felt it wrong to say he still believed there to be some truth behind it. Leopardcloud wouldn't have been necessarily thrilled to see her child in windclan, whether he considered his reasoning valiant or not.

Plastered ears slowly rise now, soaking in the warrior's words as she finally asks for forgiveness. It dawned on him by now that her words were sincere and not spouted off simply to be rid of any guilt she personally felt. For this was the second time the molly tried to make amends with him. Throughout the course of this conversation and since returning to skyclan his gaze remained down, trained upon the paws of those he spoke to or his own. It made it easier to interact with others if he really had to. Meeting them eye to eye, seeing the possible sneers and grimaces were too much. Should he look up too far he'd imagine their faces shrouded in shadow, blocking their expressions no matter what it might've been. Silence permeates the air once more as he processes it all, plumed tail hugging his flank for self-soothing comfort again. Perhaps, it was truly okay.

Green eyes cautiously pan up, taking in the sight of blackened clouds of mist that swirl before her face within his mind's eye. "I-I...forgive you." Slowly, the mist clears, dissipating until the molly's true features are exposed to him. Calm, a bit sullen albeit hopeful. There was no glare that meets his eyes and that small kindness sparks a glimmer of hope deep within where there'd been a cavern of darkness prior. "Thank you..." He whispers.
when you're lost in the universe don't lose faith
 

She was a little tense as she waited for his reply, but it quickly melted away when he responded. She felt her anxiety untangle, and she rose to her paws and approached him.

The somali lowered her head to touch his in a gentle bump. "Thank you.." she said.

"You've been through a lot, I can't begin to imagine what it was like living with.....Them." she said. What did they do to him? What had they said? What had his father tried to do?

She had to get stronger. She needed to be able to protect Coyotepaw from Windclan if they had the gall to come crawling back to their borders looking for him. She would not suffer a repeat of what happened during the raid.

She never used to go down that easy. She needed that strength back.

"You're going to be okay, now. It will be hard winning back everyone's trust, but I know you can do it." She said.

She hoped no one would make it more difficult than it had to be. She would watch, she decided. She would always be a voice in his corner.