slipping through my fingers | intro

[Bramblesong]

❝ SOMETHING NEEDED ME ONCE ✿°.✧ ————————————

Leaf-bare.

A season for privation and fear, loss and hunger. Bramblesong tries to keep an optimistic outlook: nothing leaves without something else dying for it, and there is Newleaf coming in the wake of all that snow and darkness… eventually. Still, it brings a certain melancholy: the nursery has slowly been emptying, kits going to become apprentices and their mothers stepping back into Warrior life. There’s always some bittersweetness to it: watching kits grow, become stronger, start participating in clan life, the loneliness that comes along with it.

Sighing, Bramblesong ducks her massive frame through the opening of the nursery den and out into the camp. She squints against the dim daylight for a second, looking around for the kits she can’t help but feel protective of, even knowing that they’re apprentices. A few are tussling a little distance away and she has to resist the urge to sit on both and groom the freezing mud already sticking to their pelts.

”They grow up so fast, yet not very much at all, don’t they?” She muses to a nearby clanmate, smiling.

———————————— ✧.°✿ AND I KNOW SOMETHING WILL NEED ME AGAIN ❞ ​

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[CHILLEDSTAR.]

a nap. that's all they needed. a nap. as they laid down in the middle of camp, trying to catch the smallest bits of sun that might have peeked through, the deputy closed their eyes, claws gently prodding against the cold ground. their ears perked upwards with a sudden frustrated grunt falling off tongue before they looked upwards, with hazy eyed look on their face. their tail swished behind them before they just rolled their eyes.

they want to say something bitter, something angry. the hunger that bites at their stomach almost makes it so, but the sound of their brother nearby makes them stop. their gaze softened, like it did with no other and they only sigh.

"as much as we need the warriors... i don't think i'm ready for him to grow up just yet... so yeah. i get what you're saying."

their voice is oddly soft, despite the slight rasp from the scar upon their neck. all of their apprentice had to make good warriors. they just had to. but in order for them to be warriors... they had to make it through this leafbare. stars help them all.
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[ NOBODY ELSE MATTERS, GIRL ]​

 

[FLICKERFIRE]

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮​

Flickerfire would never have kits, though if you'd asked her the reason why, she wouldn't really be able to tell you. Her flaky, nonsensical personality would be part of it; her fear of commitment to something that would be part of her forever, perhaps; the responsibility of rearing a child that should never be her's. Only part of her also acknowledges it's because she's not interested in tomcats like that, maybe isn't interested in anybody...

The one cat she'd consider having kits with isn't a possibility for a multitude of reasons, though.

Flickerfire notices Bramblesong and Chilledgaze's eyes locked onto some scuffling apprentices. Nostalgia in their mannerisms, softening their voices.

She loudly butts into their conversation. "Huh! If I were y'all, I'd be ready for them to be grown and out of my fur!" She gives her flecked black pelt a shake. "The sooner Siltpaw is a warrior, the better! We may be ShadowClan, but I'm fine with my one shadow, thank you." She flicks her tail to take the sting from her words.

- ,,​

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[Halfshade]

"If you don't want to train her then I'd happily take a second apprentice, I find it very enjoyable." Halfshade trotted forward, swaying in her walk and leaning sharply into Flickerfire as she passed in such a way it was hard to tell if it was a friendly nudge or an attempt to knock her over with a well placed hip swing to the side; either way she kept strutting forward until she could sit just a tail length or so away from Bramblesong and Chilledgaze to admire the kittens playing and bouncing around. Her heart ached at the sight of them, but she smiled all the same. One day she'd get to have the litter that was denied her before, eventually she could be a mother and get the reward of raising her own kittens as her mother had raised her. The tom didn't matter, she was perfectly fine with the idea of being a single parent but IF she had to pick he might as well be a good looking cat to share in passing down some nice genes for the little bundles.
Halfshade tapped her paw to her mouth thoughtfully, "Which kitty in our clan do you think would sire the cutest kits you think? Pitchstar has such lovely spots but..." Mismatched eyes rolled upward and then to the side in uncertainty. What if the crazy was something that could be passed down, it wasn't worth the risk. "Frostbite has a nice profile too I think..."
She smiled, teeth sharp but eyes soft, "Do any of you want a litter one day?"

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[smogstar]

"My kits'll look the best."

Smogmaw draws near with his typical glum demeanour plastered across his features, yet the air around him isn't so jaded. The mackerel tabby is in a peculiarly well frame of mind on this day. Of course, he is left chilly by the frigid white powder capping the ends of his silvery pelt. But contrasting this is the sickeningly satisfying feeling of sticky snow beneath his paws, and on top of that is the scene before him; two she-cats as pretty as a picture, all the while apprentices clawed each others' eyes out in the background.

"Frostbite's a good second-place, but I digress," cracks the tabby. No one will be safe once there's three or four of him running around camp. While he does have his own misgivings about children, being a father hasn't yet been nicked off the bucket list. "Seconding Flicker, they take too long to grow," he continues, "should take half as long. Or a quarter- whichever one's shorter." ​

 

[Tigertooth]

If I surrender, surrender
To the monsters in me ⋆⁺₊⋆
"If you ask me, being a father is the greatest gift one could have," He commented as he approached the group of gathered cat, flicking an ear with a warm smile across his maw. Tigertooth had always been one for kits and he loved younger cats in the clan, he always wanted to be a father but it just wasn't in the cards for him right now. Though they did have a point, with leafbares arrival there was less prey so the cats were growing less and less. Siltpaw was the littlest of the clans apprentices' and there was kits who needed to be fed as well, but it all seemed impossible given the cold. Though he had hope that they would make it through leafbare and come out as a strong warrior!

Tigertooth settled down not too far from the group of cats and curled his tail around his massive front paws, "I do think Frostbite would make cute kittens as well, and I do hope to have kittens of my own one day," The brown tabby cat rumbled onwards towards Halfshade and a tufted ear twitched a bit as the wind picked up nearby, "What about yourself, Halfshade? Do you ever want to be a parent?" She was a beautiful cat with her half face and pacthed fur, she would make some strong cats.

[⋆]​

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[Bramblesong]

❝ SOMETHING NEEDED ME ONCE ✿°.✧ ————————————
The group forming around her warms Bramblesong through, in a way that body warmth cannot explain alone. She loves this prickly, sardonic clan so dearly, from Flickerfire’s flippant attitude to Halfshade’s mercenary take on kit-making. The bicolored molly’s sly question does get a smile out of the queen, though the follow-up leaves a melancholic taste in the back of her throat. The grief of her lost litter is still fresh in Bramblesong’s mind, but she refuses to let it spoil a perfectly nice day. She has all the time in the world to mourn, and perfectly living cats to worry about right now.

She smiles at Chilledgaze in commiseration and goes to speak some reassuring platitude about their brother’s strength when Smogmaw swaggers in. Her smile grows at his self-assured claim — she can hardly imagine him as a father, but isn’t that what parenthood does? Transform cats? Besides, he’s not wrong: his fur pattern would surely look striking on kits. ”You are handsome, Smogmaw, but good looks will not spare you the burden of actually raising any kits you may have. ” She tilts her head in approval of Tigertooth’s addition. ”Agreed. They all grow at their own pace. And it’s for the best! They're so cute when they're young...”

Besides, any shortening of that growth tends to be final, and she wishes this on no parent. Better a kit who grows slowly than one who never grows up at all.

———————————— ✧.°✿ AND I KNOW SOMETHING WILL NEED ME AGAIN ❞ ​

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[✧ Snailcurl.]

I JUST LOVE YOUR PUPPYDOG EYES ​

snails shell | 30 months | female | she/her | physically easy (heavily pregnant) | mentally medium | attack in bold pink​

---

Waddling her way back into camp, Snail's Shell's eyes are immediately drawn to one of the only other queens shadowclan has. She finds it odd, and mildly irritating, that the other refrains from normal duties - warrior duties. That she doesn't have to prove her worth. But thats her own cross to bear, and so she tries not to hold it against the other molly.

The group's gossip catches her attention immediately, but where they find humor she only finds sadness. They say time heals all wounds, but the wounds of her heart only seem to fester. Sometimes, she thinks darkly, she thinks she's only living for her kits - for the lives growing within her belly. She cat still see his soft brown pelt, can still hear his voice, still taste his scent. Can still hear his screams, the taste of blood heavy and sickening.

She shakes her head as though to shake away the memories - if only it was that easy - and pads over. The tiny tortie has a gentle smile on her face despite the sadness hidden in green gaze, and as she comes to sit beside the others her half-gone tail twitches from its arch along her spine to wrap its way around one of her forepaws. "I think every parent feels they grow to fast, but that doesn't mean they're not still you're babies," she says thoughtfully, genuinely.

// cw allusions to SH + assumed death
[/i]

 

[Halfshade]

"Now Tigertooth, why would I be asking who would make the cutest kits if I didn't have plans to go hunting for one of them at some point?" During leaf-bare? No, absolutely not. What foolish cat got caught carrying kits during the cold seasons? That was asking for dead kits and she very much wanted living ones this time. She starred idly off to the side with a half smile before finally glancing back to Smogmaw's so bold declaration when Bramblesong made her commentary: typical tom attitude. Kits took too long to grow for the ones who didn't need to nurse them the entire time, sure.

"Will they look the best, Smogmaw? Is that you volunteering~?" A paw lifted, tucked neatly under her chin as she settled down to get comfortable, poised near Bramblesong more proper to watch the kittens play but also gauge a proper reaction; after all she hadn't been making chatter to be cute. Her mismatched eyes narrowed thoughtfully at the blue tom, more carefully scrutinizing him as Snailcurl joined and settled nearby as well; still ones babies indead. She couldn't imagine a parent who would be needlessly cruel to their kit, Smogmaw wasn't cruel-just terribly impatient, she recalled him swinging a paw at Poppypaw but it's not like he maimed her; some kits needed a little bop on the head to behave after all.
He wasn't bad looking either persay, a bit average and a little homely but honestly; given most of ShadowClan was solid black cats she wouldn't disregard a splash of color here and there. "Hmmmm, sure~ I'll add you to the list then."

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