sensitive topics SO GATHER YE DEMONS [ ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ] SHARPSHADOW

[Halfsun]

tw: she brutalizes a mouse at the end of the second paragraph

Anger. There is so much anger in her heart today. It weighs heavily as she stalks through the forest with her mentor, Sneezepaw left behind in camp for one reason or another. Perhaps Sharpshadow could tell, could take one look at her twisted face and just tell an explosion was imminent. They had been together long enough, after all. Surely, he knew all the patterns by now, could see the signs. A tail twitching more than normal, her responses short and curt, words lacking the usual enthusiasm she possessed. As they stalk through the territory under the guise of a quick hunting expedition she stays quiet, sulking over some mystery emotion that is unreadable as anything other than rage in her features as they twist, as her tail lashes angrily behind her.

But she is nothing if not a good apprentice, so when prey scent hits her nostrils, so glaringly obvious and unignorable, she drops into a hunters crouch and stalks forward, mismatched eyes focused on a mouse that forages at the base of a tree. She's upon it in a flash, ending it brutally and mercifully with one quick snap of its neck. It's over in an instant. But rather than turn and head back in the direction of her mentor, she stands over that creature. It's eyes stare up at the sky, lifeless and oh so pathetic. She had ended it so quickly, it barely even had a chance to put up a fight... And suddenly the mouse is not prey but rather a cat with cinnamon fur and the brightest blue eyes she has ever seen, turned lifeless and dull in death. It is a black and white pelt that would never lead their clan again, it was every cat she had not been there to protect, to save and suddenly, Halfpaw's jaws part and a scream tears through the air with a force that sends birds flying from the trees, cawing angrily. It is not terror that elicits this reaction though, it is rage. Rage finally breaking through as she lifts her paws and slams them into the mouse's body over and over again with a strength she did not know she possessed. "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!" She screams as she beats the creature to a pulp, tears blurring the edges of her vision as red stains her paws "YOURE WEAK! YOU'RE SO FUCKING WEAK!" And suddenly it is not the mouse she is speaking to as she stands there and weeps over the destroyed prey.

// @SHARPSHADOW

( ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ) no fake friends, forced smiles, or favors

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  HALFPAW SHADOWCLAN APPRENTICE ; SHE / HER ; SISTER TO APPLEJAW, ASHENFALL, SWANSONG, GARLICHEART, THORNPAW AND LAURELPAW
  

  A fluffy she cat who's fur is half cream tabby, half blue tabby split by white. Her eyes are two mismatched shades of blue, with one being a light icy blue and the other being darker in color.

  ✦ Easy in battle + still learning how to fight
  

​

 

[SHARPSHADOW]

She's... pretty aimless today, if she's honest. In a whirlwind, she'd streamed out of camp. The dead never kept her from hunting, or training before... If it ever did, ShadowClan would be more of a wasteland than it already is. The freshkill pile would be little more than a small collection of bugs and carrion, maybe. She couldn't afford for Halfpaw to end up dead, or worse — useless, because of anything emotional like that... But once her paws are past the bramble walls, she's at a loss; walking just to walk, hunting just to hunt. Sharpshadow didn't dare call himself perceptive, but Halfpaw is pretty obvious. Where Sneezepaw threatened to become an even bigger sopping pile of feathers, Halfpaw flung herself into her duties with rage.

And that's — it's fine she thinks. it's good, she thinks. Better than standing around and being angry. You should do something with it, should catch something with it or chase something with it. It's only too much after the mouse is already dead. A blank stare sharpens suddenly. " Halfpaw— " A discomforted frown stretches across his face, tight enough to grind teeth. She doesn't care what he says. ( Who cared what he says? ) Now she's crying, and Sharpshadow is at a loss. Her gaze tugs toward the mouse, little more than a pile of scraps, now. A waste, he thinks. The hiss is held back by clenched teeth.

He stares at it for a little too long. Maybe because that was easier than looking at Halfpaw. Or maybe because in a few moons, ShadowClan wouldn't be able to afford something like this anymore. Halfpaw's warrior ceremony is creeping upon them both now... ( StarClan, when had that happened? ) She can't be doing this still, when that happens.

Sharpshadow has never been as good a thiding his faces as he'd like to be. His disapproving grimace is probably an ugly one, but he tries to be gentle...ish, when he asks. " Who are you talking to? "​

 

[Halfsun]

It is not hard to miss the disapproving eyes trained upon her when she whirls to face the sound of her mentors voice with bared teeth, tears flying through the air like drops of water shaken from her pelt after the rain. "Them!" She cries out, her voice raspy as she flails one paw in the mouses direction, a gesture made wild by her high-strung emotions "Myself! Everyone!" She doesn't know anymore, can't be 100% certain when there are so many conflicting voices in her head right now, all of them screaming the same thing but in different words.

Her sides heave and she looks away from Sharpshadow, face burning with rage and shame in equal measures. She shouldn't have lost control like that, she knows. But it's too much, it's all too much. "It's fine. I'm fine. Sorry." she says as she sniffles and reaches up to wipe her snot and tears away with her forelimb. Already doing her best to regain her composure, already doing everything she can to bottle back up the emotions she usually is so good at keeping hidden. "I'll clean this up. I'll catch something else, don't worry." Because certainly that is what she worried about - the mouse that was now a bloody pulp at her feet, beaten beyond the point of being edible.

( ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ) no fake friends, forced smiles, or favors

• 
  
  
• 
  HALFPAW SHADOWCLAN APPRENTICE ; SHE / HER ; SISTER TO APPLEJAW, ASHENFALL, SWANSONG, GARLICHEART, THORNPAW AND LAURELPAW
  

  A fluffy she cat who's fur is half cream tabby, half blue tabby split by white. Her eyes are two mismatched shades of blue, with one being a light icy blue and the other being darker in color.

  ✦ Easy in battle + still learning how to fight
  

​

 

[SHARPSHADOW]

Sharpshadow startles at the bite in her response, though she should've sent hat coming. Well, she had seen that coming, it just startled him anyways. Wasn't that pathetic? Face set in an ugly, startled strain, Sharpshadow blinks in silent reply to her apprentice's outburst. Them Chilledstar? Myself! Everyone! The warrior's ears pin against his skull, and something... close to empathy - ish, screws up her eyes into this creased miosis of the eyes. If there is anything she understands, it's... hatred, she guesses. Irrational from irrational... he didn't really have the authority to make that call, but he knows hatred.

It's over in the same moment it started, and then Halfpaw is apologizing. Catching her breath. " Well – " It's not okay, is it? That's what she means to say, but it's... hard. Hard to know if it'd make her a good mentor if she said that. Some part of he — maybe... whatever part might've come out had Chilledstar not made her what she was— wants to reach out. Choke down her awkwardness and say, let's deal with it. But he hasn't gotten this far by dealing with it. He's gotten this far by ignoring it, mostly. Who even knows if it could be dealt with. Halfpaw had the right idea; knew that this wouldn't fly... at least.

Sharpshadow breathes in; can't find it in himself to say it's okay, because he isn't sure if that would be true. For a moment, all he does is quietly observe. Halfpaw can't look at her.

" Look, " he says, and it surprises himself. " When you're ff-frustrated... You can do something productive with it. " When had he learned this? He recalls... a rabbit that just barely fled his grasp; nearly coughing up a lung on the side of the thunderpath. Heaving and heaving... " Challenge yourself to catch as much prey as you can. P-prowl the borders like you've got nothing better to do... " You don't, is the truth. You won't ever, for the rest of your life. " And if you get lucky, someone will step over the line. " She's brought back to the WindClan border, suddenly. The line wasn't always... literal.

The mutilated prey — it bothers her more than she would like it to. It scratches and scratches and scratches at her skull. It'd be the last time Halfpaw could ever make this mistake. With an inward wince at herself... she had to be a stick in the mud, for just a moment. " ...There won't be something else in Leaf - bare, " he reminds her. " But today, I, um... " There are a few heartbeats of pause. " Trust you. " Halfpaw wasn't useless the way she had been.​