- Aug 17, 2022
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He had not done much the past few moons outside following Deersong around, the whimsy and humor of new things and apprenticeship had long since faded and it had become a mindless chore. Not to say he did not like his mentor, but his enthusiasm for the affairs of clan life had soured overtime like prey left too long in the sun. He was despondent, miserable even, but outwardly the same sleek gray dappled bundle of exuberance he was before because he had learned that no one wanted to hear what he really thought about things and life, how he felt every moment a tragic waste as they all rotted away microscopic bit by microscopic bit; how the entire idea of borders and boundaries were simple a means to restrain and regulate order where order was not previously present, that the simple act of setting a heirarchy threatened it to come crashing down. Snowpaw did not want to live in this life of kings and castles, he wanted to leave and go out into the world to dip his paws in new beauty because the places around him were now worn and mundane with every sweeping yellow glance. The blue tom wanted to be happy again, but happiness was such a fickle emotion and it came in fleeting bursts rather than the default norm so he was forced to chase it like one would a squirrel up a tree and it was here he was perched, high amidst the camp with the splash of momentary serotonin and adrenaline fading now that the vermin was slung over the branch and motionless. The apprentice considered coming down, but he decided he preferred the air here more. The highest point of the tree seemed to break into a new world, cloak him in thick rolling clouds like fog and let him gaze upon a land familiar and then beyond into uncertainty.
Sometimes, Snowpaw would gaze down at the world below the lofty throne of branches, and wonder what the sensation of falling might be like. Would it feel akin a bird taking flight, the wind rushing up in a desperate bid to catch you as you spiraled past it into the cold below; or was it just like tripping over your paw for an infinite amount of time, head over heels and trapped with the horrific lurch of a stomach unsettled. It was never worth the risk to find out, but he did enjoy the thrill of bouncing upon the branch at its weakest point to test it; daring StarClan to claim him as he idly sprang from paw to paw.
Maybe one day he'd get to fly, but for now this would suffice; dispersing his weight over the high limbs of the tree and dancing a game with death knowing one wrongly placed paw would send him hurtling to an early grave.