private so scared to lose what we already have askin' for everything that I want [dev]

[Periwinklebreeze.]

LIKE A PICTURE IN A FRAME
WISH WE COULD'VE STAYED THE SAME ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

periwinklebreeze ❀ 23 moons ❀ demi-boy ❀ windclan queen ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I want to be with you. As friends, as… more, as anything.' again and again, words echo through Periwinklebreeze's mind on repeat. At first, he pushes them aside - and then, duskclan attacks. The queen watches as Nightingalecry's body falls to the ground, lifeless - loses sight of Gravelsnap among the throng of fighting cats. in that moment, he knows - even if he doesn't want to admit it.

In the end, its a culmination of all the little things - another grave freshly dug and marked by pale stones. A pained conversation with Sootspot, the realization of his own actions and the blood staining his paws. Hollyhockpurr's comforting tones as she whisks him away, asks if he's alright. Spitting venom at Brackenpaw as she lays blame at his friends paws for something out of their control. Vulturekit's return - at Bluefrosts paws.... and Thriftfeathers.

He'd tried to kill him - and still, he'd chosen the right thing in the end, hadn't he?

Guilt gnaws at his belly, but above all he regrets. He's made so many choices in his moons of life - so many wrong twists and turns upon his path. Snapping jaws and bloodstained paws, in truth he hardly recognizes the cat he has become. And yet.

And yet he finds he does not mind this ripple-skewed reflection that stares back at him, not the way he once would've. He is no longer the child eh once was, certainly, but he is only the monster that starclan made him into. And he is tired of running - tired of losing what little he has before he even has it. He does not want to regret.

It starts with sunshine yellow flower - a pale gesture of his affection. But Gravelsnap is confined to the medicine den, and this seems a question far better suited to some... privacy. But Wolfsong and the newly dubbed Cottonsprig release them from the den, all healed up (or close enough to it) and he decides there is little point in waiting. In holding off what now feels inevitable.

" Would you... come with m-me for a w-walk? " he asks quietly, blue eyes earnest and glimmering. It's plain to see that this isn't just a walk, but he says nothing more until they make their way from camp, until paws are settled upon the moorland and half-blind gaze stares out at the ashen land. Even now, it looks a far cry from what it had before - and yet, the green growth of new life already speckles the territory. Windclan will recover - as it always does.

" You s-said... you said you w-were fine b-being- being anything, " he starts, voice stilted as he stutters. He has thought about this for a long time, and yet word continue to fail him in that moment. There's a moments pause, jaws gaping as they work in silence - " I don't j-j-just want to be friends - n-not anymore, " at last, the smoke furred tom turns to look at Gravelsnap, really look at them - blue eyes boring into hazel with a frightening amount of sincerity. " I'm tired of- of regretting - I d-don't want to f-fight another battle wh-where I r-risk losing y-you without - without at least asking, "

" I love you, " he says, voice raising a bit louder as he regains his certainty. " W-will you be my mate? "

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I ' V E - A L W A Y S - B E E N - R E A L - B A D - W I T H - C H A N G E

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
// @GRAVELSNAP

 

[GRAVELSNAP]

➴➴ A second confession, a second time that he’s made his care, his intentions, his love clear to the other tom, only to have his hopes dashed quickly after. It’s no fault of Peri’s, of course; no one could have anticipated DuskClan’s stealthy invasion of their camp. No one could have known. And no one could have expected Gravelsnap to fail so entirely, so humiliatingly. Nightingalecry lies dead in the ground, her spirit offered up to StarClan, because he had not been good enough. Because he hadn’t been strong enough, or fast enough, or ruthless enough to cut open Rumblerain’s throat in the same way he had slit Gooseberry’s. And for his failure not only Windclan, but Periwinklebreeze, has paid the price. Gravelsnap, of course, had paid as well, in a different way—healed wounds still tug and stretch awkwardly, but he can move freely about the territory now.

Moving freely about the territory means hunting and patrolling, but it also means that when their friend comes asking them to go on a walk, they respond with a nod. "Of course," they say, and they mean it. Of course they will go on a walk. Of course they will bear the ache that overworking their shoulder will bring. Of course they will do anything for Peri. The queen’s characteristic stutter is present in his question, but that isn’t what intrigues Gravelsnap. Instead, they focus on the other tom’s eyes—one blinded and scarred, yet still that open, honest blue that he’s come to appreciate. Beautiful. They follow after Peri even though they don’t know what this trek is truly about, trusting that the outcome will be positive. They would follow their friend anywhere, if only he asked. And when he comes to a stop and turns to face them, it is with eyes that sparkle like each star in the night sky. It is with sincerity that Gravelsnap returns readily,

The lead warrior says that he’s tired of regret. Gravelsnap can understand that—can understand the feeling of potentially losing something that never got the chance to start. Something that was watered and taken care of, but was not even given the chance to sprout. And then… Peri says those three words that set their heart fluttering. "I love you too," he responds with ease, the words coming as naturally as a springtime breeze. As naturally as snow in the wintertime. As naturally as… as loving Peri is. It’s like breathing, he thinks. It’s simple, automatic, and yet he couldn’t survive without it. It sounds so strange coming from his own mouth—I love you, I love you, I love you.—and yet it feels like the most perfect thing he’s ever said. His chest feels full to bursting with all the affection that he holds. And then…

Will you be my mate?

"Yes." Their response is quick, hardly allowing the other to finish the question. Their face warms, embarrassment suddenly striking them, and Gravelsnap dips their head to avoid eye contact for a moment. Staring down at their paws, they allow a broad, shining grin to settle onto their muzzle. It’s the most authentic smile they’ve worn since they’d first fallen ill, since they first confessed to Peri how they feel. Then, they had felt separate to express their devotion on what they’d assumed was their deathbed, but now they feel absolutely weightless. Light as a feather, they could float away with the happiness that fills their chest. They have to do something, to move despite the ache in their shoulder. They duck their head, aiming to shove forward until their forehead is pressed up against Peri’s chin, their face pressed against his neck.

"Yes, I’ll be your mate. Always. Forever. Until I die, and even past that." No more regretting, no more balancing on a fragile bridge over a rushing river. No, there is only Gravelsnap and there is only Periwinklebreeze now, and if they are to be mates, then he will spend every day making up for the moons upon moons of tension between them.

➼ maybe i’ve done enough

• ooc: —
• 
  GRAVELSNAP ❯❯ they/he, moor runner of windclan
  ⭃ average-sized black and white warrior who seems smaller than he is. speaks rarely and quietly.
  ⭃ sibling to slateheart
  ⭃ mentoring sheeppaw
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
  ⭃ penned by foxlore

​

​

 

[Periwinklebreeze.]

LIKE A PICTURE IN A FRAME
WISH WE COULD'VE STAYED THE SAME ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

periwinklebreeze ❀ 24 moons ❀ demi-boy ❀ windclan queen ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

He can hardly keep the smile from stretching across his face as Gravelsnap answers - not that he really tries, mind - and he beams happily. They're mates now - and despite having just heard the answer himself mere moments ago, he still can't quite believe it. An anxious sort of excitement coils in his stomach, all fluttering and gnawing as though trying to get free, and when Gravelsnap presses closer he's quick to match the movements. Chin settles heavily upon their head, as though he could tuck them in impossibly closer, softly sighing as muzzle presses into white and black fur. " Forever - a-always, " he echoes in agreement, joy leaving him feeling flushed. Gravelsnap is his, and he is theirs- and nothing can change that now.

'Until I die, and beyond then indeed'

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I ' V E - A L W A Y S - B E E N - R E A L - B A D - W I T H - C H A N G E

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
// mobile

 

[GRAVELSNAP]

➴➴ The purr that rumbles through their chest can surely be felt by the other tom, and for a moment Gravelsnap simply sits like that, leaning gently into their lover’s touch. Brushing fur with others normally makes their pelt prickle with discomfort, but now they cannot imagine a feeling better their mate’s touch. "You are the best thing to ever happen to me," they sigh, dark tail fluttering back and forth behind them. This… this makes them feel more content than they have in months.

The feeling that blooms in their chest is warm, soft like the downy feathers that line their nest. Wait a second—their nest. Hazel eyes snap open, and they lift their head from beneath Peri’s chin. A smile, more nervous-looking now than it had been before, brightens their expression as they gaze up at their friend—their mate. "When you’re out of the nursery, we could… share a nest? If you—only if you would want to." They couldn’t blame the queen for wanting his space, so Gravelsnap doesn’t allow themself to get their hopes up. But still, the idea sounds perfect.

➼ maybe i’ve done enough

• ooc: —
• 
  GRAVELSNAP ❯❯ they/he, moor runner of windclan
  ⭃ average-sized black and white warrior who seems smaller than he is. speaks rarely and quietly.
  ⭃ mate to periwinklebreeze ; sibling to slateheart
  ⭃ mentoring sheeppaw ; formerly mentored thriftfeather
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
  ⭃ penned by foxlore

​

​

 

[Periwinklebreeze.]

LIKE A PICTURE IN A FRAME
WISH WE COULD'VE STAYED THE SAME ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

periwinklebreeze ❀ 24 moons ❀ demi-boy ❀ windclan queen ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The purr rising in Gravelsnaps chest is only matched by Periwinklebreeze's own, and in that moment the queen has never flt more content despite the heat coloring his cheeks. He stays quiet as he listens - afraid that any words he could find would only pale in comparison to such a confession, but the butterflies spinning circles in his stomach certainly don't lessen. " I w-would love to, " comes quiet admission when his mate asks to share a nest - a nest that would no longer be just his but theirs. He thinks of empty moss he sleeps in now, of how cold and dull it's felt since his return, even for all that he's had his family to lay in it beside him. And in that moment, he can't think of anything he'd ever wanted more then to leave that behind for the start of something new.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I ' V E - A L W A Y S - B E E N - R E A L - B A D - W I T H - C H A N G E

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━