- Jun 1, 2023
- 135
- 28
- 28
The tunnels are starting to grow familiar - or, at least, that's what Luckypaw would like to think. It's easy to think that he might know where he's going while following along after Cygnetstare, telling himself he's pretty sure he would have recognized that curve if he had been the one leading, but it's easier still to second-guess his own silent decisions. Who's to know whether he would be able to navigate the tunnels on his own? Certainly it would be without ease, if he could even manage more than a few pawsteps without tripping over some unseen obstacle. He's getting better at navigating the dim lighting, though; while his ability to map the tunnels may be questionable at best, it's clear that white-dipped paws stumble much less frequently now. Something he should take pride in, and yet, he finds he can't - not when being able to walk freely without tripping is something he learned as a kit. Not when all his other skills are so subpar and struggling, at least in his own eyes. Never mind that learning so many new things is hard on its own, even more so in a new terrain so lightless; Luckypaw finds he can't help but expect something better out of himself, as the son of Scorchstreak. Shouldn't tunneling be in his blood, or something like that? Shouldn't it come second-nature, just like how being a moor runner seems to come so easily to Scorchpaw? Thoughts of bloodied mice and clean-furred rabbits threaten to overtake him, and the apprentice has to roughly shove them away, focusing on the dirt beneath his paws to stay grounded.
The sound of Cygnetstare just ahead is just as grounding, surprisingly - he's started to grow quite used to her presence, he's found - if not in a strange way. If he hasn't been succeeding the way he should, has been lagging behind his moor running peers (behind Scorchpaw) - well, shouldn't his mentor be doing something about it? Or, at least, shouldn't they have said something about it? And yet, it's been no different as of late; instruction when it comes to new skills, corrections and praise when deemed necessary, but nothing so serious as concern about his progress. Part of him wonders if he isn't just thinking too hard, worrying at it too much, but whenever reason tries to take over, Luckypaw is once again invaded by thoughts of flame-tipped fur and red droplets. At this point, he doesn't think he'll ever stop being haunted by his littermate's achievements; certainly not if he can't forge his own path, hone his own skills. If he were ever to catch up, his first catch would have to be something noteworthy - that had been his line of thinking when attempting to hunt across the moors that lonely night, and yet it hadn't gotten him anywhere. He just...didn't have the training, the skill to make such a catch, not yet - maybe not ever, a voice nags at the back of his mind, though he's at least self-aware enough to recognize real doubts from outlandish ones like that. Being a tunneler takes time; something he remembers Cygnetstare saying, comforting him, but that time has never seemed so distant as it does now, in a dark passage with hardly anything to show for his work just yet.
Maybe the thick tunnel air is just starting to get to him, blocking out all his more positive thoughts, though as Luckypaw keeps pace behind his mentor, one does come to him - the mini-training session he'd had with Honeypaw. Or, more specifically, when he'd asked the other apprentice for extra help and he'd agreed to it, just like that. Had been enthusiastic about it, even. Slowly but surely, his fragmented thoughts began to gather, forming together into something a little more coherent. Out of everything, what seems to get at him the most is his hunting skills, probably because it's the one area where he truly had failed, regardless of his thoughts on his other abilities. His battle skills still need plenty of work, too, but Honeypaw had helped, and that's what he focuses on now - he had asked, and Honeypaw had helped. Until now, the thought hadn't really occurred to him - sure, he's asked questions of Cygnetstare, of others in the tunnels, but those are always clarifying, always on subject. His mentor was there to teach him, that was for certain, but did it always have to be so one way? Before he can lose his nerve, hesitant words are spoken out into the dark. "Um, Cygnetstare? Are we...doing anything important today? I mean, more important than, like, normal stuff. I just wanted - I was wondering - um, could we maybe focus on hunting today? Or, sometime soon, if that's okay." Far be it from him to interrupt any lesson plans the dual-toned warrior has for the day, but now that it's out in the open, Luckypaw doesn't think he can take back the desire - the need - to make up for his previous hunting attempt, even if he hadn't told anyone about it.
// @cygnetstare
The sound of Cygnetstare just ahead is just as grounding, surprisingly - he's started to grow quite used to her presence, he's found - if not in a strange way. If he hasn't been succeeding the way he should, has been lagging behind his moor running peers (behind Scorchpaw) - well, shouldn't his mentor be doing something about it? Or, at least, shouldn't they have said something about it? And yet, it's been no different as of late; instruction when it comes to new skills, corrections and praise when deemed necessary, but nothing so serious as concern about his progress. Part of him wonders if he isn't just thinking too hard, worrying at it too much, but whenever reason tries to take over, Luckypaw is once again invaded by thoughts of flame-tipped fur and red droplets. At this point, he doesn't think he'll ever stop being haunted by his littermate's achievements; certainly not if he can't forge his own path, hone his own skills. If he were ever to catch up, his first catch would have to be something noteworthy - that had been his line of thinking when attempting to hunt across the moors that lonely night, and yet it hadn't gotten him anywhere. He just...didn't have the training, the skill to make such a catch, not yet - maybe not ever, a voice nags at the back of his mind, though he's at least self-aware enough to recognize real doubts from outlandish ones like that. Being a tunneler takes time; something he remembers Cygnetstare saying, comforting him, but that time has never seemed so distant as it does now, in a dark passage with hardly anything to show for his work just yet.
Maybe the thick tunnel air is just starting to get to him, blocking out all his more positive thoughts, though as Luckypaw keeps pace behind his mentor, one does come to him - the mini-training session he'd had with Honeypaw. Or, more specifically, when he'd asked the other apprentice for extra help and he'd agreed to it, just like that. Had been enthusiastic about it, even. Slowly but surely, his fragmented thoughts began to gather, forming together into something a little more coherent. Out of everything, what seems to get at him the most is his hunting skills, probably because it's the one area where he truly had failed, regardless of his thoughts on his other abilities. His battle skills still need plenty of work, too, but Honeypaw had helped, and that's what he focuses on now - he had asked, and Honeypaw had helped. Until now, the thought hadn't really occurred to him - sure, he's asked questions of Cygnetstare, of others in the tunnels, but those are always clarifying, always on subject. His mentor was there to teach him, that was for certain, but did it always have to be so one way? Before he can lose his nerve, hesitant words are spoken out into the dark. "Um, Cygnetstare? Are we...doing anything important today? I mean, more important than, like, normal stuff. I just wanted - I was wondering - um, could we maybe focus on hunting today? Or, sometime soon, if that's okay." Far be it from him to interrupt any lesson plans the dual-toned warrior has for the day, but now that it's out in the open, Luckypaw doesn't think he can take back the desire - the need - to make up for his previous hunting attempt, even if he hadn't told anyone about it.
// @cygnetstare
[ PENNED BY HIJINKS ]