private sorry that i can't beleive // bluepaw

[Periwinklebreeze.]

❀​❀ I AM SORRY THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT GOES ❀❀​

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periwinklebreeze & 13 moons & demi-boy & he/they & windclan moor runner​

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At last, a cure has been found. It is this news that finally has periwinklebreeze making a hard decision, no longer avoiding the medicine den like the plague. Gravelsnap is not going to die - nor will azaleafrost. or at least... they shouldn't. He can't lie and say there isn't a niggling doubt, that there isn't a part of him that expects the worst in spite of the herbal remedy. But he tries not to linger on the possibility, instead keeping up what little hope he can manage and clinging tight.

It is for this reason that charcoal paws carry him towards the healers den, a rabbit-pup clutched carfully in his jaws. Blue gaze is downcast, mind lost as his thoughts wander - what to do, what to say, how to explain his worries without risking a confession. He can't handle another rejection - can't handle seeing gravelsnap distance himself.. Can't bear the thought that such words might be their last, that the next time he see's them they'll be a corpse upon the moorland. Not like snailstride.

Because of this, he nearly collides with a blue-furred figure, only pausing at the last possible moment with a stiffening of long legs, wobbling on his paws - and oh, it's her. Something like bitterness, like regret bubbles in his gut - he knows his treatment of her has been wrong. The venom has simply pilled out so easily, the thought of someone taking away what little he'd had left paining him. But he regrets it. Uncertainty has him shuffling his paws, prey set carefully down as his gaze flits from the apprentice to the entrance of the den. "Bluepaw... v-v-visiting g-g-g-gravel too?" he asks finally, words sounding weak to even his own ears. But it's a start.

— the wind blows loudest when you've got your eyes closed ❀

• Actions && "Speech," && ' Thoughts/Quotes '
  
  ooc: @BLUEPAW
  tw/cw: —
  
• 
  — a lithe figured black and white tom with a false-pointed pattern and clear blue eyes that gleam periwinkle in the right lighting. he seems perpetually worn and exhausted, with heavy bags beneath his eyes and a slouched figure. he has a speech impediment which leaves him with a stutter and sometimes even completely non-verbal, and his fluffy tail is adorned with daisies.
  
  — physically medium && mentally easy && pacifist
  — non-violent powerplay allowed && healing powerplay allowed && minor injury powerplay allowed
  — please attack using [b][color=#ccccff]action here[/color][/b] and tag account

 

[BLUEFROST]

ThunderClan’s foolishly but generously had given the other five Clans the knowledge needed to cure yellowcough. Bluepaw has felt creeping doubt since Wolfsong had begun using it to treat their sick—what if it had been a trap, poison meant to weaken WindClan further? But no, symptoms seem to be slowly clearing up, and cats who were on the brink of death seem to be slowly returning to the waking world.

For cats like Azaleafrost and Snailstride, her concern had been middling to nonexistent. They are Clanmates, but they are beneath her and her family, outsiders with kittypet blood and wavering loyalties. When Gravelsnap had sickened, though… the jet-speckled warrior is one of her few friends. He had always shown her kindness, kindness that she had done nothing to deserve… and she knows Gravelsnap is a good warrior, one who deserves to live. She had cursed StarClan under her breath upon watching the others help him to Wolfsong’s den.

But he is better, slowly but surely, and upon her retreat from the medicine cat’s den to visit him, she nearly collides with a taller wall of silvery-white and darkness. Her eyes narrow at the stuttering voice bestowed her direction. “Yes, I am. Is there a problem with that?” She gives him a defiant stare, wondering if he will cause a scene again, like he had when she’d given Gravelsnap the stone. “He is my friend, too.”

✧ INFO.

•  
• 
  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​

 

[Periwinklebreeze.]

❀​❀ I AM SORRY THIS IS ALWAYS HOW IT GOES ❀❀​

---

periwinklebreeze & 14 moons & demi-boy & he/they & windclan moor runner​

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Bluepaw meets him with hostility - unexpected, but not undeserved he supposes "I-," voice falters, jaw twitching for a moment as he scrambles to find the right words. Ears fll back and eyes shut, as though in prayer - as though begging forgiveness. Perhaps he is, just not from starclan this time. "No, theres no p-problem," he says finally, voice weary. "Th-there... never was. I w-was being... st-stupid. I- well, I-" for a moment, he wonders why he is bothering with this - clarifying, seeking understanding. Apologizing. He's certain it will change nothing - not her opinion of him, nor his of her. But... he knows he was in the wrong, petty jealousy and insecurity clouding his mind that day. And it leaves him feeling unsettled - the thought that they all thought of him that way. "I know... I kn-know your j-j-just his friend," he says instead, confession never making it past his lips - though his relief certainly does. "I- I'm, um, sorry, for last t-time I mean," and oh, this is not at all going the way he'd wished - stammering and stuttering away when it should've been simple, and his face flushes hot.

— the wind blows loudest when you've got your eyes closed ❀

• Actions && "Speech," && ' Thoughts/Quotes '
  
  ooc: —
  tw/cw: —
  
• 
  — a lithe figured black and white tom with a false-pointed pattern and clear blue eyes that gleam periwinkle in the right lighting. he seems perpetually worn and exhausted, with heavy bags beneath his eyes and a slouched figure. he has a speech impediment which leaves him with a stutter and sometimes even completely non-verbal, and his fluffy tail is adorned with daisies.
  
  — physically medium && mentally easy && pacifist
  — non-violent powerplay allowed && healing powerplay allowed && minor injury powerplay allowed
  — please attack using [b][color=#ccccff]action here[/color][/b] and tag account

 

[BLUEFROST]

Bluepaw stares at Periwinklebreeze as he stutters over a strange, stunted apology. She cannot tell if he is sincere or not, but really, does it matter? Whether someone apologizes or not, she reasons, it does not take back the blood they spilled, the prey they ate. Her whiskers twitch as she finds her response. “I see.” Green eyes flash with something, though the rest of her face remains prettily stoic. “Perhaps you should apologize to Gravelsnap, then, as well. He does not deserve your suspicion, either.”

And now she is curious. For what reason had Periwinklebreeze been so suspicious of her? She’d been only four or five moons when Gravelsnap had given her that flower, and that is when she first remembers the stubborn glare of his powder-blue eyes. She regards him with that same unblinking, unnerving emerald stare. “May I ask… for what reason did you hate me so? Surely you cannot blame me for receiving that flower.”

✧ INFO.

•  
• 
  — bluekit . bluepaw
  — she/her, apprentice of windclan
  — bisexual ; single
  — long-haired blue she-cat with white and green eyes
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — penned by Marquette
  — art by Meg

​

 

[Periwinklebreeze.]

❀​❀ OH HOME, LET ME COME HOME ❀❀​

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periwinklebreeze & 14 moons & demi-boy & he/they & windclan moor runner ​

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"I will..." he agrees easily, voice faltering as he flinches, hackles raising for a moment before he slumps again, eyes watering with humiliation and self-loathing. Oh - bluepaw had known more than she had let on, hadn't she? He hadn't thought much of that interaction - had thought he'd built his walls high enough back then. How long had they been crumbling down? Looking back on it, he'd been so stupid - not all that surprising really, but the acknowledgement of his own faults still stings.

"I j-j-just - he said y-you w-we're more t-t-tolerable th-than me, a c-cat he hardly knew y-yet, wh-when I th-thought we were friends," he admits, words spilling out in a flood. Tail lashes angrily, flowers ruffling. "I've l-liked him l-longer, and I j-j-just- I was being p-petty, I sup-pose.... sorry" he grumbles tiredly, blinking. He's not sure why he says as much as he does - perhaps he is simply tired of lying all the time. Perhaps it'd all just been too much, a dam overflown. Whatever the reason, what's done is done he supposes - head shaking as he sighs. "I sh-should g-g-go," he mumbles finally, flushing in embarrassment as he picks the prey back up and pushes past her - as though he has not just unladen his burdens upon her. Her fault for asking, he supposes. Ignorance is bliss, and all that.

— home is wherever I'm with you ❀

• Actions && "Speech," && ' Thoughts/Quotes '
  
  ooc: & out
  tw/cw: —
  
• 
  — a lithe figured black and white tom with a false-pointed pattern and clear blue eyes that gleam periwinkle in the right lighting. he seems perpetually worn and exhausted, with heavy bags beneath his eyes and a slouched posture. he has a speech impediment which leaves him with a stutter and sometimes even completely non-verbal, and his fluffy tail is adorned with carefully woven daisies.
  
  — physically medium && mentally easy && pacifist
  — non-violent powerplay allowed && healing powerplay allowed && minor injury powerplay allowed
  — please attack using [b][color=#ccccff]action here[/color][/b] and tag account