private star ocean - fireflypaw

[CROWSIGHT]

He needed to check in with Fireflypaw. For two reasons. The main one that acted as an excuse would be checking his wounds from taking back the camp. It was nothing serious, most of what he had received were light scratches, the only concerning at best. In reality it was not as concerning at least he didn't think was the deeper gash across his lip. It had hurt and it was taking longer to heal, but he wouldn't say he was dying from it. Although he does wonder if it'll scar, not that he minds. As for the second reason, it's simple and complex in nature. It's about their parents. Bobbie and Blazestar were mates now. He's not sure what that changes for him. Blazestar has not approached him. Although he found small comfort in that fact because he's not sure what he would have done if Blazestar approached him and asked him to call him father or something. If he had been younger and his mother hadn't essentially abandoned him when she became a warrior then he would've leaped at the chance of having a father. Now, he's at a loss at what to do. Typically Lupinepaw was someone he would confide in, but they were no longer on speaking terms.

That left Fireflypaw. Blazestar's son. He wouldn't say he was best friends with the older tom, nor would he say they hated each other. It just felt like they could speak about their parents and their worries. He's not expecting Fireflypaw to call him a younger brother once this conversation is done. In fact, that is one aspect that he doesn't want to touch. It is just to confusing. They weren't blood related, but he's sure that Fireflypaw also wishes happiness for his father. The least he could do was not be mean to Blazestar's kin for his mother, even though she seemed to forget he existed most of the time. "Our parents are mates," his voice breaks the silence between them while Fireflypaw is checking his wounds. "You... You didn't look happy." Before the medicine cat apprentice could interject, he adds quickly "That's okay."

It was okay? If Fireflypaw were to look at him, the older tom would find no deceit. Maybe it was odd to hear that from Crowpaw, considering the fact that his mother was with Blazestar now. "I am happy, but not happy about it." Maybe that would please Fireflypaw, cause the other tom to laugh at his feelings towards the matter. As clear as day it was that both apprentices had conflicting feelings towards their parents being mates. The reasons not entirely in alignment, but they were not alone. "How does Fireflypaw feel about it?" About us is left unsaid. It was much too soon to think about how the pairs relationship would change with their parents being together and all. One crisis at a time thank you very much.

// @Fireflypaw

 

[Fireflyglow]

Marigold for open wounds, comfrey root for slow-healing wounds. As Crowpaw sat in silence, Fireflypaw finds himself more focused on his task at hand than the apprentice himself. Blind blue eyes flick side to side as he chews the root of comfrey, spitting it into cobweb and placing it onto the rather deep lip wound. Marigold had already been applied to the smaller wounds after a proper cleaning, so he was just finishing up his job. It felt like Crowpaw wanted to say something, for the silence between them was thick and questioning. There was a curiosity in the way Bobbie's son shifted in place, though the words fell out of his mouth soon enough.

Our parents are mates, He says. Ah, so that's what he was thinking about.. Fireflypaw realizes with a hum in response, his own opinion not differing much from Crowpaw's himself. Though, he was a bit more mature than the young apprentice- his father could do as he liked as long as the Clan was kept safe and he didn't do anything to lose his other remaining lives. You... You didn't look happy. That's okay." Crowpaw says with assurance, and Fireflypaw lets his face sag for a moment in a frown. Was it okay? "My mother died on the journey." He stated bluntly, paw prodding at the wound on the tom's face to make sure the cobweb remained. Good, it was still there. "She's all I've ever known as a mother. Bobbie becoming my father's mate just means that he's moved on from Little Wolf. That's all." It felt weird, talking about this openly with Bobbie's son- but something told him that Crowpaw didn't mind talking about it, either. Like he needed someone to talk to.

The tom speaks in a way that is unfamiliar to him, but he doesn't mind it. It's endearing, in a way. "What do you think about it? Now that she's a Lead Warrior, she might not have as much time to see you. How does that make you feel, Crowpaw?" ​

SKYCLAN MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE ✦ 15 MOONS ✦ CHUNKY, BIG-FOOTED SEAL POINT ✦ TAGS​

 

[CROWSIGHT]

The news that Fireflypaw's mother died on the journey causes his brow to raise. He's never met her before or even paid attention to the medicine cat's family closely. If you asked him, he assumed Fireflypaw's mother was already dead. What's her name? And it seems like Fireflypaw can read his mind by providing her name. Little Wolf. That's a nice name. Hazel eyes narrow at the tom's choice of words. Clearly there is some strain. He shivers when he's prodded by a black paw. He's not good at offering condolences and it feels wrong to do so for someone he's never met. Besides, Fireflypaw might have heard countless I'm sorry for your loss from others already. He opts not to offer any condolences and instead mews, "Little Wolf's always going to be Fireflypaw's mom. Nothing will change that, even if Bobbie and Blazestar are together. Bobbie doesn't have to be your new mom. She can just be... Bobbie." He's not sure if he's making much sense to the older tom, but what he means to say is it's okay not to move on too. That if Little Wolf was his mom and he wanted no one else to take her place, then he didn't have to.

He's asked two questions. It doesn't irritate him like it usually does when he's not given time to answer them one by one. A nose and whiskers twitch in anger when his mother is brought up. He has some mixed opinions of her now. "It's... Wouldn't be any different. Ever since mom became a warrior she hasn't spoken to me. She only talks to Lupinepaw or Drowsypaw. Lupinepaw is her favorite. She's a stranger to me. Silversmoke speaks to me and takes care of me more than her." Would that surprise Fireflypaw? Crowpaw knows nothing about how close Fireflypaw was with his parents, but he can tell that both of them love him very much. Even the way he speaks of his deceased mother, Crowpaw is certain that Fireflypaw was the stars to Little Wolf. He's jealous. Jealous of the family the medicine cat apprentice grew up with, while his wasn't so nice in comparison. There was no denying Bobbie took great care of them as kits, but to him it was as if she abandoned then afterward. As for a father? He had none, so he couldn't just trot up to his father and ask him why their mother forgot about them. As it stands Silversmoke is his guardian and the one he trusts most in this clan. Even if the lead warrior is forced to do so, it's better than nothing.

The air has gone sour between them. Not because any hold any animosity towards the other, but because of Crowpaw's apparent bitterness towards his mother. "I guess I'm happy for her even though she forgets about me. I never met my dad or know his name, Bobbie never wanted to tell us about him. But, I'm not stupid. He was a horrible tom and all of us look more like him than her. She's moved on from him and now is with someone better. Or that's what I'm supposed to feel as her son."

Both of them are tied to their duties as children to love their parents and respect their decisions, yet this is too much. It's quite honestly unfair how neither talked about it to any of them beforehand. "I think we can both be upset at them. There's nothing wrong with being mad at them. We don't have to be happy they're together. I am upset for Fireflypaw the most. Blazestar should have talked to Fireflypaw first about it just like Bobbie should've told Crowpaw first." He hopes that the medicine cat doesn't reprimand him for his words. It's not like he's saying Blazestar is awful even though it is sort of implied by how the leader didn't even think to wait or ask his children how they would take it. It very much felt like he waited for Little Wolf to die, so he couldn't feel any guilt when moving on. That might have not been the leader's intent, but it could be seen as that way.