stars won't shine much longer ⸸ chilledstar


They could've been related, he thinks, following along on his shaky paws after Chilledstar. Away from Clanrock and their clanmates as well, off to the side of the camp where the shroud of trees cloaked it in an eternal shadow and two black phantoms like them could blend into it with ease. Magpiepaw sits, his broken tail twisting around his paws and kinking at the middle - bending the tip of it upward to tuck into his chest; he feels alarmingly small now next to their leader's much taller form but he does not say anything at all. Instead he is thinking critically of his decision, he is trying his hardest to keep his breathing steady and focusing on the singing of his blood through his veins in a rare rush of adrenaline.
It had not been an impulsive thing, he had rationalized it well, but his body reacted to the act of speaking up so verbosely before the clan as though he had just gone into battle itself. He never did like talking before a crowd, as a kit it was easier because the clan saw him as just a silly pest but now as their medicine cat his words had weight and their gazes carried with it judgement.
Finally, after what seemed far too long but was only a moment, Magpiepaw tilts his head up to speak, "I'm not being talked out of it."
He didn't think Chilledstar would agree and list him among the others simply to deny him in private later, but he could think of no other reason that he might be the only one pulled aside. Was it because he was the youngest of them? Sharppaw was an apprentice as well but one sorely behind the others of their rank and already past warrior age but he was not some newborn kit or newly apprenticed; he was seven moons, he had heard WindClan made warriors of you at eight - the barbaric fiends that they were - so surely his age was not much issue.
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[Ooc]
@CHILLEDSTAR.
 
DON'T YOU GIVE ME UP, PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP

worry sits within them. sure, they are worried about all of them but particularly him. not because of his afflictions, but because they've watched him grow. as much as he agitates them, they do like him. he was already a great medicine cat apprentice, and would be an even better medicine cat. but they're scared. they don't trust anyone enough to be around him and not... that's their distrust. they needed to calm down. no one was going to hurt magpiepaw. he was gonna be okay... right?

"i'm not gonna try. it is a big decision but i trust you can make your own. you were chosen by the stars for a reason. i know you will return to us and be stronger for it."

they sigh, closing their eyes.

"i just wanted to know why you were eager to go. I'm not gonna stop you, I promise that much. curiosity just gets the best of me."
 

"...if the cats journeying get hurt...who will help them? If they get hurt, they could also die and then...then the cats here will die too." If no one survived to bring the lungwort then they would have sent cats to quest for it for no purpose, their clan would suffer and they would lose so many without a cure...
How could he not want to go and ensure they made it? How could he not want to help remove the hollow eyed stare from his mentor's face everytime she looked into their den and remembered the sickness within. Magpiepaw was not a strong cat, not very skilled in much but he had a tenacity from the day he clambered from a trashpile and out of the plastic bag he had been tossed into; he wanted to live. He was good at it.
He would live and he would come back with the lungwort.
"They need someone who can identify it...who can ask the stars for guidance if we need it.."

As if sensing the leader's worries elsewhere he only smiles, "...I am a medicine cat apprentice, the cats going know...they know that StarClan gave us this sign to find the cure. They will not hurt me. I trust that much." What fool would cut down their only healer? If anything he would be the safest of the cats chosen given his usefulness.