private stay in line, look alive ✧ snakeblink

[lichenstar]

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She knew that look. If they could strip her of her pelt and see down to her bones, she was certain those eyes would... they dug underneath her skin, made her feel exposed to such a prying, knowing gaze. His tongue danced behind his lips at every opportunity, ready to say it, to spill it, to make good on that damn promise (she hoped) to talk to her about her personal business rather than anyone else. But... it was more than just her business now, wasn't it?

When she stalked towards him that evening, she'd spent most of her morning trying to dodge it, to evade the boundary she was unwilling to reaffirm and also to have to admit it out loud. To Snakeblink of all cats. It would go one of two ways, really good, or really, terribly bad. And unfortunately, he was reliable in only producing one of those options consistently.

"-Don't," is the only warning she offers, watching the way his jaws part to say something, even if just a harmless greeting. They turn to glance back at the milling public, those settling in for dinner and sharing tongues, ready to finish the day with their loved ones quietly. "Let's... go see if we can't catch one last fish," she suggests, a hidden message tucked into the tenseness of her tone. Not here, it says, Somewhere private.

Time to test the slithering adder that hid in her den, playing at hisses and testing the waters he hid in. Only once it was quiet, far from the watchful gaze of the night guards, the blue lynx point turned to glower at Snakeblink, though the frustration was not directed at him. "Sorry," they deflate near immediately, laying in a puddle near the riverside with a heavy exhale. "I'm tired..."

Tired of being tired, tired of worrying, tired of... about a hundred things. He'd probably get it, right? And manage not to make it a pissing contest instead?

@Snakeblink

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WELL IF YOU WANT MY BLOOD I'LL MAKE SO MUCH BLOOD

THAT YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DROWN​

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[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Snakeblink’s mouth shuts with a click at Lichentail’s admonition. Curiosity sparks in his eyes rather than insult or hurt; that she approached him in the first place is enough for him to follow along without protest as she unsubtly invites him fishing.

The funny thing with Lichentail is that this is as likely to be hiding something — a desire for privacy, an attempt to get him away from camp for any kind of reason — as it is to simply be their awkward way of… inviting him fishing. To bond. Stars, they truly are very similar, aren’t they? It makes him chuckle in spite of the tension holding their new deputy’s frame taunt. She would hate to hear it, but it’s true.

Staying obediently silent the whole way — though he hitches to make idle chatter — Snakeblink instead occupies himself with watching the pale point cat. It doesn’t take a mind-reader to tell she has a lot on her mind, but how much of that can be attributed to her new duties, he wonders? When she turns back, he meets her glowering unabashedly. He has an inkling that the less he tries to defend himself with her the less likely he is to make a mess of things, and besides Lichentail knows he will be staring. He always is.

Their apology, uttered immediately and without reservation, throws him off more than any harsh word ever could. He flounders for a second as they lay down, looking for all intent and purpose as if the weight of the sky is bearing down on their back.

It pulls another chuckle out of him — more of a huff, really, half humor and half sympathy. The burden of his own exhaustion lies across his shoulders like a mane, and he lets it push him down until he’s lying next to her.

”I know,” he says, an easy admission sighed out while he shifts through other words that will not be taken as insults or dismissal. His first instinct is to say me too, but it’s not about him right now, and the next thought, a commiserating we all are, is hardly any better. Eventually he settles on, ”Can I help?” Then, waving his paw as if to dispel the words barely spoken, he adds, ”Would you like to talk about it? I doubt anyone will come by these parts at this hour.”
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——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 46 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

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[lichenstar]

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He sinks down onto the dirt with her as if they are doing nothing more than taking a small nap together.... It would be nice, if it were that simple. Her ear flicks at his hushed response, a gentle and tactical "I know," that doesn't sting like a cuff upside the head. Was it that obvious? Their murmured conversation when repairing RiverClan's camp not that long ago comes to mind... she'd been willing to admit it then too. As had he, moving his paws if only to ensure they did not cease moving permanently.

A crooked tail accidentally finds his, quickly flicking away at the sudden contact. His offer to help... to listen... it's exactly what she'd wanted by dragging him out here. And he is polite enough to say that part out loud so she wouldn't have to admit it as her hidden motive. Only out here, where they were truly and definitely alone, could she be sure that it was safe.

Anyone that had witnessed the way the two circled each other like mutts at odds would find it amusing... that she would need to confide in him rather than anyone else. To get in front of him before an idle tongue could accidentally reveal more than she wanted to, that was the biggest part. "You can... I think." It's not a guarantee. More like a vain hope. "I was pretty confident those that went on the journey were never coming back. They were gone for so long it seemed impossible- like StarClan had sent them on a wild goose chase." It wasn't that her clan-mates weren't skilled... even if most of their travelers were sheltered in their life experiences (living in the clans meant they never had to learn to climb... to sprint long distances... to hide among the mud...). "You were pretty keen to poke at it before she left..."

They peer at him out of the corner of their eye, wondering what might be running through his head. "Hazecloud and I are mates," and somehow even she sounds surprised. "You have to promise not to breathe a word Snakeblink." She turns to frown at him with narrowed eyes, not even giving him the chance to confirm before she decides to make him complicit. "Hazecloud wants a family... I let the moment get away from me."

He's smart enough to know what she's getting at.

"Leafbare is approaching... and I can't take it back."

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WELL IF YOU WANT MY BLOOD I'LL MAKE SO MUCH BLOOD

THAT YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DROWN​

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[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

Learning that he may be able to help makes Snakeblink perk up visibly. He turns the full attention of his thin-slitted eyes on the deputy, eagerly awaiting this rare moment of openness from them.

It comes, haltingly: words of doubt over their journeying clanmates’ fate. Snakeblink nods, understanding. The rogues had proven an unwelcome but efficient distraction from similar thoughts; had he been less busy trying to survive their onslaught, he might have worried himself into an earlier grave than the one already reserved for him in some not-so-distant future. He can’t imagine what it must have been like, with someone so dear to Lichentail off on this doomed voyage. Then she alludes to his previous… indiscretion, and his eyes narrow as his mind latches onto the strange segue. Something sparks in his chest — curiosity, and a prelude to delight. Surely she cannot have come to him to share romantic gossip… Can she?

The admission that Lichentail and Hazecloud are mates do not come as much of a surprise. He does have eyes; keen ones, even, and often trained on his clanmates, much to their vocal dismay. He had his doubts. ”Congratulations,” he murmurs, trailing off at the end of the word in a questioning tone. This is good news, isn’t she? Why act as if she’s confessing to some terrible secret?

He gets an answer to that question soon enough. The spark in him turns into dread as his accursed mind connects the dots she’s so cleanly laid out in front of him. Hazecloud wants a family... I let the moment get away from me… And Hazecloud showing signs of kits… He shifts and frost crackles under his paws, a reminder of the cruel season fast approaching. The very season they nearly lost Willowroot to when she had her first litter; the cold, lean time that nearly killed Snakeblink’s own mother and carved a perpetual hunger into his thin bones. The worst possible time to bring kits into the world.

”Does Smokestar know?” Is the first thing he manages to voice out, after a moment of silent gaping. He shakes himself, already continuing. ”No, no, of course not — he would not have kept quiet about it. Stars, Lichentail, he will have your pelt if he hears about this.”

He unfolds his gangly limbs and starts to pace a tight circuit in front of the blue cat, shaking nerves from his paws and bringing back some semblance of warmth into them. He mutters to himself, unintelligible words that jumble into each other, before stopping in his tracks and turning a steely look on his… colleague? Friend? He wonders how she would take him reaching out, deliberately, not by accident like that earlier tail touch that they both jerked away from, her in surprise and him in an effort not to lean into it as he so embarrassingly does. Would she welcome the comfort? She looks like she could use some comfort. Hell, he feels like he could use some comfort. Anxiety crawls under his fur like biting ants.

”He will not hear about this,” he tells her resolutely. ”Stars, it is clear on both your faces, he will have his doubts. But I will not speak a word of it. We will simply have to do everything in our power to make sure she is looked after and everything should be… fine.”

Habit makes him pause, wondering how Smokestar will take this… conspiracy. Knows how Cicadastar would have. Disregards the thought — they will cross that river when they come to it — and asks, instead, ”How… How do you feel? About it?” About parenthood; about leafbare; about… everything that he just learned.
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——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 47 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

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[lichenstar]

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It is near certain that it would not end well regardless of how the truth came about. Snakeblink is perhaps the one chance she has at picking someone's brain who is not so directly involved, someone who understands the leader under which they are serving and how to navigate his temper- he does have one, though it is far more contained and controlled than the departed, their founder. But it is not reassurance that the brown and white tom offers, it is a panic equal to her own. He will have your pelt if he hears about this. She grows wary at the use of if... it was going to be an inevitable future. StarClan had not chosen to give her any kindness lately, so she'd be nothing short of amazed if not a single kitten bore her striped physique, specks of white to match the blaze on her nose, water-deep blue eyes... Thinking about it made her head spin.

What would you even name a look-alike without creating the same issues that haunted Cicadapaw? Certainly not Lichenkit. Hazecloud might be vain enough to entertain a mimic of her own... an idea the lynx point would have to gently dissuade her from if it ever came up. He paces relentlessly to churn the earth under-paw, as if it might reveal some secret to success that the earth had buried as a prize to be later retrieved. She had already thought about it... intently... no good answer had been delivered, no divine providence to spare her the consequences.

But the promise that it wouldn't be shared... It was reassuring, solidifying that he could be trusted if (and only if) she beat the rumors before they ever reached his ears. It could be shoved into his paws as a secret, wrapped around his consciousness like a binding contract. At the very least.. he was controllable in that minor way. The way he says 'we' when addressing the care and ultimately required overtime that would come with ensuring their best chances of survival is a warming flicker that keeps the dread at bay for a small while.

"Thank you," it is breathed as hardly more than a whisper, feeling her limbs go numb with the release of such a weight kept locked inside her head. It could not be hidden for long... that much, she knew, and would rather not be cornered about later. But at the very least, she could have some genuine, skilled help.

His prying is actually welcome for once and in an uncharacteristic moment of overwhelming anxiety, she divulges more than the surface level of her feelings. "Horrified, really," and there is a laugh there that sings of nervousness, of excitement. "I'm usually... more prepared."

"I don't have the best example to call back on for being a mother... I worry I'll make too many mistakes. The timing being the first... obviously. And Hazecloud's mother is nothing short of a pile of brambles dressed in furs- Hmm. Don't tell her I said that actually." It was hard enough to be mates under those scrutinizing eyes much less getting into verbal squabble anytime they were in proximity to each other. "What if we pick names they don't like? Worse, what if they think I'm the cool one and take after me? Imagine... what a nightmare."

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WELL IF YOU WANT MY BLOOD I'LL MAKE SO MUCH BLOOD

THAT YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING DROWN​

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[Snakeblink]

MAYBE I'D BE A SAINT IF I WEREN'T ————————————​

It’s Lichentail’s sincere thank you, more than anything, that knocks Snakeblink out of his anxious spiral. To have been trusted with this, to be a relief rather than a burden, is a priceless gift — and the deputy doesn’t even know she is giving it to him. He offers her a weird twist of a smile, somewhat grimacing, a natural expression that nonetheless sits uneasily on his thin face. It grows softer, less strange, as he forgets himself in listening to her; further trust in the form of a murmured confession.

”From what I have gathered, no one is truly ever prepared for this.” The light chuckle in their voice speaks of a young parent’s anxious eagerness, warming him to his core. Despite the dangers… It’s a great chance that they have been given here.

He squints his eyes, humor sparkling in green irises. ”I shall hold my tongue on the subject,” he hisses with a light laugh at her mention of her mate’s mother.

His own was everything to him: he holds her in his heart as a memory of infinite,
overwhelming affection, patience and kindness and a firm touch correcting his hunting position. There are days when his body feels like it has no other purpose but to serve as a thing to hold the hole in her shape that she left with her death. He cannot imagine what life would be like without that grief, without that memory of kindness; cannot imagine that Lichentail could ever be anything for her kits but a similar comfort, a feeling of safety and belonging. She will be a good parent; he knows this with an absolute certainty that almost surprises him.

”But at least they have given you an idea of what not to do. And you will not be alone. You will have Hazecloud, and the other queens— Apricotflower, or Smokestar even. They will not let you make any egregious mistakes.” His ears flick, a gentle dismissal of her self-deprecating words. ”And I do not think you would pick a bad name for them — though if you need inspiration, may I suggest naming one Snakekit?”

Whiskers quirk up, voice lilting with wry humor as he glances away, unsure of the welcome of his joke. His tone hovers between teasing and softly sincere as he continues, ”As for the rest… I do not know. I cannot claim to have any experience with parenthood, though I am more than willing to help you navigate issues as they come up. What I can say is that I think you are ‘the cool one’, so who knows what it says about me and my advice…”
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——————————————————————————————————— so god damn lonely ​

ooc. information.

• 
  
• — Snakeblink • he / him. 48 ☾, riverclan warrior
  — a sleek, skinny tabby with long ears and a scar over his right eye.
  — gay, not actually evil, penned by @Kangoo
  
  
  

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[lichenstar]

⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧ ⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧ ⋆ ✧　 　 · 　 ✧ ⋆ ​

The speed at which she cuffs him upside the head surprises even her. Snakekit... what a bold and utterly foolish suggestion to offer when she's clearly in no laughing mood. She retracts her paw with an apologetic frown- bad habit, impatient reflex maybe. "You... play around too much," she sighs dramatically, "Hazecloud would have both of our heads if I suggested it." Not because he is insufferable (he is) but also because she had told Snakeblink first, out of all the options presented to her.

Wasn't like she could trust Pikesplash to keep his mouth shut... Nor Ripplesnap, who's talkative behavior only served as the biggest secret leak of all time.

His consolations are... appreciated... and shown as such with a gentle headbutt to the soft spot under his chin. Pulling away, the molly stands up abruptly as if remembering she has somewhere to be. "... Thanks Snakeblink.... really. You're a good.... ambiguous... positive... associate... since friends was a little too much for you last time." An awkward smile shared to make light of previous, painful conversation. "I owe you one..."

"Let's make next time one of your secrets... just for fairness."

-- out!! i love u kangoo ty for this <3

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CLAIM THE BURIAL I SEEK IN DREAMS

FLOWING RIVER CEMETARY​

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