private STRAWBERRY WINE ☽; crowflower

[WOLFWIND]

Weaving was one of the oh-so-unfortunate skills that you needed to live out here. Knowing this is the only reason she didn't loudly declare to Crowflower that she doesn't need help and storm off. Cause admittedly, she does feel a bit useless (dare she say, pathetic) when she has to stand by as other cats work their delicate-pawed magic. But hell, not even the elders could teach Wolfwind how to do such a thing. She very much doubts Crowflower could do any better than they had. She tells her such, as a fair warning. "Just sayin', I'm pretty sure I'm unteachable," she tells her with a slight grimace and an 'are you sure about this' eyebrow raise. "These paws were made for fightin' and whatnot."

Just like her mouth was made for talkin', and she'd totally talk Crowflower's ear off if she wanted to. Practically a season's worth of chatting had been stuffed up inside her before, she was about ready to get it out. Somehow, Crowflower had convinced herself that Sunnyday's dumbassery was private. Maybe it should be, but the guy made no effort to hide it. Wolfwind was gossip ready, if asked. But, uh... first thing's first, and all. Wolfwind shoves forward the scraps of (what she thinks is) weaving material she'd gathered together in a hurry. Willing Crowflower to do... whatever with it.

[ @crowflower >:3 ]​

 

[crowflower]

Crowflower's flat affect failed to properly communicate the anxious flurry of excitement and fear that stirred within her at the prospect of taking the time to help Wolfwind improve her weaving skills. A nervous half-smile flickered across Crow's features as she listened to Wolfwind's explanation. "Oh," she said dumbly, briefly mesmerized by the weird eyebrow thing. "I'd still like to try--" a pause, then the ghost of a teasing grin. "Even if you are a lost cause." Crowflower had the distinct impression that Wolfwind's failure in the art of weaving had less to do with having a fighter's heart and more to do with general laziness. "If you're brave enough to bleed for Thunderclan I'm sure you can overcome a bit of weaving." She tried to look amused but her mouth was dry and her voice sounded rather breathy. Crowflower inwardly cringed and turned her attention to the materials scattered at their paws.

"I like to start with the coarse materials first," gesturing to the plant fibers and moss. "It's just the base so it doesn't have to be perfect. We will fix any mistakes later with the soft material." Perfectionism wasn't necessary on the first try. Her own demonstration was a little more frayed than her usual work--her attention was divided between observing Wolfwind and showing a good example. If she watched close enough, she might be able to pinpoint exactly what he companion was getting wrong. But as Crow paused to observe Wolfwind's progress, she found herself wondering more about the strange tension around Sunnyday and what, if anything, Wolfwind had to do with it. The questions burned at the tip of her tongue and it took every ounce of willpower to resist her natural curiosity. Her eyes sparkled with things left unspoken, unaware that she was staring. ​

 

[WOLFWIND]

Wolfwind's jaw drops open, as if appalled by the words she practically put into Crowflower's mouth. "Lost cause? Sheesh," she huffs, hunching her shoulders in the form of a petulant apprentice. "You're supposed to say, "Oh, there's no such thing, Wolfwind"!" she tells her, straining her voice in a mock of Crowflower's own. "How noble of you. Hmph!" It's obvious she's playin', right? She'd think so, nut she doesn't know what to make of the strange lilt of Crowflower's voice. Wolfwind quirks an inquisitive brow, but otherwise says nothing, resigning herself to leaning over Crowflower's demonstration with her bottom lip jutted in a pout.

"The base?" She parrots, eyes raking across the material she gestured to. "You're tellin' me there's more? Shit's hardly worth the trouble." Despite this, she begins to make an attempt regardless. Never mind the way that she glares at the material as if it's stripped all of Howlingstar's lives away. Clearly, Crowflower has way too high of expectations for her base knowledge, because she doesn't even know how to get the shit to stick together. She can only stare blankly as she tries to.... weave (???) some fronds together, only for them to instantly fall limp. Wolfwind's frown deepens. She's thinkin' words she shouldn't be sayin' round someone so sweet.

Again, she tries, and eventually, she gets to the point where she's basically just shovin' shit together. Maybe if she runs her mouth Crowflower wouldn't notice she totally sucks. Abruptly, Wolfwind clears her throat. "Y'know, nothin' Sunnyday's eve'r done is a secret, he puts all of his..." Wolfwind pauses, tryin' to think of a better word for 'dumbassery', "–pe-culiar-arities" She pronounces it slow like she's never said this damn word in her life. (And she hasn't) "–On display to everyone. Thinks he righteous for it, or somethin'. Y'know he brought a stranger smack dab in the middle of camp once?"​

 

[crowflower]

A laugh bubbles from Crowflower like the chittering of birdsong. "You're right--I'm sorry," she teases with a shy smile, "There's no such thing as a lost cause. Plus, I don't mind a challenge." Her voice is bright with amusement. She likes how easy it is to have fun around Wolfwind. Though she holds almost all of her clanmates in high regard, interacting with anyone outside her family usually inspires an undercurrent of anxiety. It's pleasant to laugh with someone and not worry whether or not she's said the wrong thing. A peaceful calm emanates from Crowflower while she watches Wolfwind's first attempts with an attentive gaze. She immediately recognizes that Wolfwind is not exaggerating her complete and utter lack of skill. Dramatic delivery seems to be her companion's favored mode of communication, but she is honest, nonetheless. It is clear that Crow needs to help her master the most basic techniques before graduating to anything close to nest-building or den arrangement. Sensing Wolfwind's growing frustration, she places a paw on hers. "Here, let me show--"

All of a sudden, Wolfwind clears her throat and Crowflower freezes. Her mind is so busy with the best way to explain the steps that the surge of emotions caused by the subject change seems to frazzle her for a moment. What about Sunnyday? He brought back a stranger..? What does this have to do with..? Oh. Right. The memory of her painful encounter with Howlingstar makes her wince. "Were they hurt?" she asks with a frown. "The stranger, I mean." Sure, the general rule of Thunderclan was not to allow strangers of any kind within their ranks, but Crowflower has always thought it was such a limiting rule. If someone was in need of help, she would do it. Rules be damned.

A heartbeat passes. Two heartbeats. Crowflower makes the agonizing realization that they're still touching and she shifts her position before taking a grounding breath. Deceptive calm smooths the soft lines of her face as she begins working on a simple example for Wolfwind to replicate. "Copy what I do," she says with a cough. "This will help you learn the basic skills a little better."​

 

[WOLFWIND]

Wolfwind smiles at that, sharptoothed. " A challenge. Yeah, that's what I am, " Nice way to say what all the warriors had told her as an apprentice. Some folks may not take it as a compliment, but fuck it, she was going to. Plaster a big fat warning sign on her back, somethin' only the strongest of warriors (And Crowflower, apparently) can tackle. She's hardly paying attention to what's goin' on at this point; starts yammering on–

And she realizes a little too late that Crowflower isn't moving or talkin' all too much, and her white paw is covering Wolfwind's own. Wolfwind blinks. Her mind is suddenly running at the speed of a three-legged turtle. " I mean, it's been a while. Uh, I think? Maybe? Wait no, she was a kittypet, Crow. " Wolfwind rolls her shoulders, careful not to dislodge where they were joined at the paw, for some reason. " May I inform you it was leaf-bare? She could've gone and meowed at another door. And... tell ya what... "

She purses her lips, words falling short with a breath as she feels Crowflower's paw shift away from her own. She's suddenly conscious of how kinda-similar they were, mittens and all. Damn, she shouldn't've started running her mouth. Wolfwind blinks like she's woken up for the first time in moons, before following Crowflower's paws with her eyes, suddenly developing the sense to be quiet. " ...Kay. " Her tongue swipes across her teeth. It's going... marginally better than it was before.

Had she made things awkward? " Sorry I'm – I mean – " She stutters a moment, looking for the right words. " Ya know you can always tell me to shut my trap, yeah? " Her eyes flicker to white paws once again, copying their ministrations. " And like – uh, " Eloquence sleeping from every word. Wolfwind cringes. " S' a privilege, ya know, so better take advantage... " Shit, she's probably doing it again.​

 

[crowflower]

A thoughtful expression softens the anxious lines around Crowflower's mossy eyes. White-mitten paws grow still as her attention drifts away from demonstrating weaving techniques to a rich inner world. She takes the image of Sunnyday returning to camp with a kittypet and rotates it, examining it from all angles. The trees are barren and drifts of snow obscure the tracks of whatever prey remains. She imagines the gnawing hunger of an exceptionally bad Leaf-bare, how it would twist both the stomachs and hearts of her clanmates, how it would make them resentful for the addition of another hungry mouth to feed. And if that hungry mouth was injured? Lost in a starving, cold world after living a life where food and affection was guaranteed? For her clan's sake, for Wolfwind, Crowflower wishes she could say that she shared in their disapproval, but that would be a lie. The truth is that she would help anybody who needed her, even if it meant she had to sacrifice her own food, her own time, possibly even her life.

But how could she say that without making herself seem weak or foolish? The simple truth is that, perhaps, everyone already knows that about her already. That her kindness is a risk that they can't afford. But maybe it was brave, too, to take such a risk when nobody else would. "I'd like to think that if Wren and the kits, or..or if you were lost and injured," Crow says slowly, casting a furtive glance at the cat beside her. "That you wouldn't have to wander long before someone helped you. Even if it angered everyone else." Is that selfish? Or kind? Brave, or stupid? All she knows is that, to her, it's the right thing to do. It shouldn't have to be cats against cats when there are plenty of other evils in life.

She blinks, subconsciously mirroring Wolfwind as a strange silence befalls them. Her head cocks to the side, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Why would I? I don't mind listening," she replies earnestly. "As long as you don't mind listening to me too." Though it is the truth, it suddenly feels like a heavy thing to admit. Like she should've taken the time to weigh it better before she spoke and measured its impact. Her gaze flickers down to inspect Wolfwind's work and this time she smiles widely. "Oh, that's much better!" she praises. It's still rather rough and lacks the precision of Crow's own work, but it is a vast improvement from Wolf's first attempt.​

 

[WOLFWIND]

Wolf can't help but frown at the other molly, a pinch of her brow forming at the slow-spoken words. Hadn't she heard her? (Had she been talking to much Crowflower gave up on listening, entirely?) " She wasn't injured, " she reaffirms. The memory of the molly herself was foggy, but Wolfwind remembers her mumbling about twolegs just having her. Those things didn't let a claw come upon their precious pets. Wolfwind shuffles, uneasy, but only because she was talkin' to someone she gave a shit about. " And if she was, it's not a matter of helping or not helping at all. "

Howlingstar was nothing less than kind; and to be... nice and shit while keeping your damn head at the same time, you needed to pick your battles, and stuff. " Sunnyday decided she's harmless based on fuckall. Keeps sayin, oh, there are so many warriors with 'em!. If there are so many warriors, what reason is there that a few couldn't sit down with 'er while he went to get an authority? "

Wolfwind takes a breath, realizing belatedly, that the fur was starting to rise along her neck. The implication that she– or anyone, would be upset about helping a queen and her kits strikes an unpleasant chord in her belly. Crowflower just... didn't understand. A look she gives her is sad for a moment, only because Wolfwind hopes that she would. The warrior shakes out her pelt, allowing her expression to mellow into somethin' more easygoing. " Hope ya don't think I'm some sorta scoundrel, or somethin', " she says with a light cough, ducking her head from the other's view. She's glad to hear that at least, that Wolfwind wasn't ruinin' their chances of a friendship over running her mouth. As long as you don't mind listening to me too.

She looks up to see Crowflower smiling. Blinks right back at her. She hated listening to her misunderstand, but not... listening to her. Wolfwind meets her green gaze once more. " 'Course not, " slips from her easily. She glances to her paws again, catching sight of her for once, not incomprehensible mess. " Ya think? "​

 

[crowflower]

Misunderstanding is a common consequence of such an active mind. While many of Thunderclan's warriors could take a step back and view a situation in its entirety, Crowflower is compelled to measure and inspect each individual part, every unique component, before she can understand the whole. Even then, it resulted in a crystalline image reflecting light and shadow in dizzying patterns that often led the skunk-furred molly to believe she experienced the world in a completely alien way. Life would be much simpler if she could find it within herself to accept a simple answer, but she cannot. It is a secret source of frustration to Crowflower that she spends so much time trying to understand everything that she, herself, is often confused.

Keen green eyes notice the prickle of Wolfwind's fur, how emotion shines within the molly's gaze like a pair of dazzling suns. The saddened frown is not lost on her, either, though she is confused as to how they somehow landed on the precipice of an argument.

A twist of nausea unfurls within her belly as she begins to realize that her folly has struck once again. Despite her urge to retreat, Crowflower stays. She steadies her breathing and she tries again to really listen. It dawns on her that her own desire to give Sunnyday the benefit of doubt had blinded her to the real issue that bothered Wolfwind. What possessed him to blatantly forgo protocol? Would she ever make the executive decision to bring an outsider into camp? She has to chew on that thought for several moments, and eventually concludes that she trusts the kindness of Howlingstar and the rest of her clan to make the correct decision. Anything short of an emergency cannot excuse the entitlement of Sunnyday's decision. Then again, she saw a lot of herself in the old tomcat. She may not share his violence, but she, too, is a creature of impulse.

"Oh," she says with a frown. "Of course not. I hope you didn't think I was judging you..." A sheepish expression flickers across her face. She flicks her tail nervously. "Sunnyday reminds me of myself, sometimes," her tongue feels thick and heavy with the admission. "If he could hurt so many people...well...I guess it's hard for me to wrap my mind around." Crowflower wants to be good. Not just a good warrior or a good hunter or a good friend, but a good person, too. What would Wolfwind say if she knew just how many rules Crow has broken in the name of doing the "right" thing? Crow could see that Sunnyday had a good heart, even if no one else did, but maybe she had to see his goodness or else it means that something is wrong with her, too. "I'm sorry." For making things more confusing than necessary. For not hearing Wolfwind sooner. For possibly ruining whatever spell had dazzled them only moments before.

Once more, their conversation returns to a more neutral topic. An air of self-deprecating humor can be heard in Crowflower's voice when she says, "I may be a lot of things, but I don't lie." She summons the courage to meet Wolfwind's gaze once more and finds herself distracted, if only for a moment. Her attention returns to Wolfwind's work. "It's almost passable!" a rare, teasing grin brightens Crow's features. "Would you like to try again?" A glitter of hope shines in her eyes. She isn't only referring to the weaving.​

 

[WOLFWIND]

Wolfwind's never been the most perceptive, but she feels like she can just barely see the movement of somethin' beyond Crowflowers eyes. She wouldn't lie and tell ya she knows what, but she feels like... Crowflower spends a lot of her time thinking. Wolfwind busies herself with prodding at her creation as the moments of silence pass. They both need a moment to get the words together, she thinks. Course, her eyes are all Crow's once she speaks again.

" Nah, nah, I'm just... " She hardly knows what she wants to say herself, ends up peetering off into nothing... Point is, she knows she means no harm. And its borderline outrageous to her, to hear that kinda comparison. Wolfwind unhinges her jaw, ready to argue, but she listens to the rest of what Crowflower has to say. It's easy for Wolfwind to characterize Sunnyday as a traitor, and stars, what else could he be but that? But there's a method to his madness, even if it didn't make anything right. " He thinks he's good for what he does, " she eventually huffs. " But he also thinks he's... fuckin' better than he really is. " Her gaze grows steely for a moment, recalling what she'd heard– Sunnyday faux-slicing a claw past himself in a mocking gesture. Did Howlingstar not deserve the same regard for life those droves of strangers did? Wolfwind worries her teeth, tryin' n ot to look all... mad n' stuff infront of Crowflower.

She's apologizing now, and Wolfwind shakes her head. " Talkin' is all it is. Don't worry, " She tries to be reassuring, has no fuckin' clue if she's doin' it well. " The difference is you listen to other folks. I won't let ya fall into the same echo - chamber that he did. " A grin comes to her maw once again, teeth showing. " I'll knock ya right the fuck out of it. " Cause she's been in one too, hasn't she? Somethin' non - physical. Somethin' that just tells ya lies for as long as it's allowed to.

It's easy for them to slip into somethin' more casual again. No sweat at all. Wolfwind quirks a brow, muses about her claim with an acknowledging hum. " Almost? Hoho, rising in the ranks, am I? " It's her Crow-way of sayin' this shit's fuckin dodgy, but it's better than it was. She groans with her next words, though. Putting on a fake show of mourning the precious time she's lost, but she doesn't mind. She doesn't mind at all. " You're puttin' me through a lot here. My poor heart! " she says it, but she settles in regardless, fixing Crowflower with a smile.​

 

[crowflower]

"Um," she stammers. "Thank you." It's a much lamer response than Crowflower intended and she winces.

Crowflower probably should feel a little miffed by Wolfwind's proclamation to "knock her right the fuck out of it," but she understands her friend's meaning despite its delivery. A flush of warmth sends a wave of bashfulness coursing through her veins and she is compelled to look away again. Almost every second of Crowflower's life is spent trying to do the right thing, the kind thing. Vast amounts of time and energy are wasted on analyzing every situation in as many ways as possible to ensure that she understands the motives of everyone involved and the reasons for why they do the things they do. Although she has cultivated a wealth of empathy for almost everyone she encounters through her introspection, she oftentimes gets so blinded by the details that she fails to see the big picture. It is a constant battle for Crowflower. One that she acknowledges as her greatest flaw, but struggles to overcome on her own. Wolfwind cannot possibly understand how much it means to her to hear such a promise.

Any awkwardness is washed away as the pair easily slips back into more casual conversation. There's so much more she wants to say, of course, like the variety of speeches that Crowflower practices in her head so that she can finally explain herself in a way that helps people finally understand her. But that might take the conversation down a much more serious route, of which she has had more than her fill.

"If it's too much for a strong warrior like you," she matches Wolfwind's grin. "we can always take a break." The clans weren't formed in a day. Although she is genuinely impressed that Wolf managed to improve her skills from abysmal to acceptable, Crow is uncertain that much more progress will be made without a lot more practice. Besides, she is starting to suspect that the whole weaving endeavor was more of an excuse to hang out rather than to master the art of nest-making. Crowflower is starting to feel restless from all the emotions and thoughts swirling like a cyclone within her. "I have a couple things I want to add to my..." she hesitates. "...to my stash." It sounds a lot more mysterious than she intended. "If you wanna join me."​