pafp stray a little farther from the road ;; exposure therapy

[leafhusk]

the forest isn’t silent. birds chirp from their branches, leaves flutter in the wind, and bugs buzz on by. a perfect day to be out in the woods. usually she’d take her apprentice out to hunt under these conditions, but leafhusk has another thing planned; one that should hopefully yield good results. adderpaw had been falling behind, and she finally understood why. almost ironic that the boy named after an uncommon threat is scared of creatures born from myth. the wolves still haunted his dreams, the terrifying thought they could be around any corner- the last thing she’d want to do was have him held back, it wouldn’t be fair (and it’d be so embarrassing for her).

the forest sings around them. they’d travel past the sandy hollow, into a clearing surrounded by usual thunderclan nature. leafhusk at least did the boy a favor in telling him beforehand, that this would be an usual training session. he seemed to be more willing if she was open about where they went, but the coddling won’t help him forever. he’s nine moons now, one of the oldest in the apprentice’s den, it’s time he set examples for the overflowing nursery.

"tell me how you feel." she instructs, flicking her tail. after a beat of silence, she adds, "honestly."

her body a song ⚘ a poem in candlelight

• please wait for @Adderpaw
  
• hi
• 
  LEAFHUSK 」 thunderclan lead warrior・ex-kittypet
  

  a long-haired, fawn sepia molly with pale golden eyes, she keeps her fur neatly groomed and free of any mats or tangles. leafhusk is easy to talk too and befriend, her attitude doesn't change much towards other clans but she is visibly wary around outsiders.

  ◆ physically easy, mentally easy, attack in underline & tag
  ◆ healing & peaceful powerplay allowed・all opinions ic
  ◆ she / her・currently mentoring adderpaw
  ◆ written by maxine ♡ dogfriends. on discord

​

 

[ADDERSNAP]

Adderpaw had woken to a churning stomach, butterflies fluttering about uninvited and unwelcomed. Although not forewarned the night before, the boy could tell that something was off the moment he opened his eyes. It was another training session with Leafhusk today, but from her tone of voice he could tell that something would be different this time. With a limp tail and jaded eyes, he approached Leafhusk with tufted ears low and a grim expression.

It was hard to hide his feelings from her, no matter how much he had tried in the moons he had spent with her. His nightmares had become more mundane, but their last discussion must have still been ringing in his mentor's mind as she spoke of "getting his feelings out" and that "she was here for him, and only wanted the best for him." Somehow, despite the trust he had built with her Adderpaw couldn't get rid of the rock that pitted itself in his stomach. Did she truly care about him so much, or was it for her own selfish gain now that she had been promoted?

Attempting to present himself as strong-willed, the tabby lifted his chin to an uncomfortable height and pushed his shoulders back so much so that they strained. Adderpaw wasn't doing it for Leafhusk's sake, but for his own now. Taking a moment to let her question wash over him like a crashing, unwanted wave, he perked his ears to the calls of the birds that echoed through the forest. Hmm. The cardinals seemed very on edge today. "Alone... and, uh, broken. I feel as though I can't defend myself -- a-and that if they were to return... we'd be..." He didn't feel the need to finish his sentence. ThunderClan would fall to their demise from the bloody claws of a famished wolf pack.

"I've always wanted to be strong." A long pause followed his words. "But I don't think I ever could be." Wavering trembles whispered from quivering lips, Adderpaw felt a sting in his eyes as tears threatened to become visible to his mentor. He was humiliated, embarrassed to have to spill his deepest fears that he had tried so hard to push through. But his training was slacking, and he knew she probably couldn't stand his sulking any longer. Would she be happy now? Would he be granted the freedom to wallow in his self-pities in peace? "Uh, so is that all? I wanna work on my tree climbing now..."

'So much for wanting to improve.' Adderpaw's inner dialogue spat back towards him, guilt gnawing at his bones. He was backed into a corner and didn't know how else to defend himself, but maybe Leafhusk wouldn't see it that way. He hoped maybe she'd cut him some slack this time.​

 

[ORANGEPAW.]

WE WERE PLAYING IN THE SAND​

---

orangepaw likes the sounds of the forest. there are so many of them, and if someone listens close enough, they can even hear the gentle scuttle of bugs on the ground. orangepaw likes that sound. it's funny. the sound of rustling leaves, or whistling of wind against grass reeds... its soothing. but to be quite honest, he didn't need to be soothed. he's pretty much always calm, even if he can be over enthusiastic and happy. and loud. and rambunctious. but he can't help it! he just loves to happy, and only hopes his happiness is infectious!

his paws slow down as he unintentionally listens to what adderpaw says. oh. huh. he isn't confident in himself and orangepaw doesn't see why he wouldn't be! he says he's not strong enough to defend the clan but he is strong enough in his own way, isn't he? everyone has a purpose in life and his clearly was something he hadn't found yet! that's alright! orangepaw would attempt to help!

"I think you're pretty strong! I mean I haven't seen you fight or anything but to admit something like that is strong! that's what my mom says at least! and you're not alone! we are here for you!"

he doesn't know him that much but that does not mean he wouldn't be there for him. he'd be there for anyone that needed him. it was his purpose in life. it was his strength. he was made to help, and make others happy, and adderpaw would totally find his thing, eventually!

​

 

[RACCOONSTRIPE]

Leafhusk may have a soft kittypet background, but her training methods are not indicative of this. Raccoonstripe gives his co-lead warrior a dip of the head in greeting, turning toward his own apprentice in the process. He’d led Thistlepaw into the territory shortly before the wolves had been chased out, but the two of them hadn’t gone far due to the dangers lurking in the forest. He wondered if his own apprentice suffered from the same insecurities as Adderpaw, but then he pushes the idea away. Thistlepaw is capable, so far—Thistlepaw has demonstrated loyalty to ThunderClan and a willingness to do whatever it took to feed the vulnerable.

The tabby warrior approaches Orangepaw, Adderpaw, and Leafhusk on delicate paws. The forest sings with newleaf song, but Adderpaw appears uncomfortable, even as Orangepaw goads him on. “A warrior cannot face his fears until he admits he is afraid,” he murmurs. He turns to Thistlepaw, curiosity gleaming from his dark eyes. “What are your fears, then?”

『 out of character. 』 ✧･ﾟ:* 『 about. 』

• ooc: apprentice tag @THISTLEPAW
• 
• Raccoon . Raccoonstripe, he/him w/ masculine terms.
  — “speech”, thoughts, attack
  — 37 moons old, ages realistically on the 5th.
  — mentored by n/a ; mentoring Thistlepaw ; previously mentored Wildheart, Moonwhisper
  — thunderclan lead warrior. gray wolf x howlingstar, gen 2.
  — currently mated to Nightbird.
  — penned by Marquette.
  
  
  lh black tabby with white and dark brown eyes. charismatic, charming, calculating, ambitious, shallow, manipulative.
  
  

​

 

[THISTLEPAW]

His mentor is right to put his trust in him — in this, at least, Thistlepaw is capable. How could he be anything else when he had spent so long dreaming? Little Thistlekit, condemned to the medicine den. A drain on their resources. Weak. Named at six moons old when his peers took it on so much earlier. Even if they had got it taken away, they'd had something. They could play, they could work, they could– leave. They had something to look forward to, at least. Memories that they could return to and building blocks they could rearrange while he withered away with none of it. His paw scuffs the underbrush in a moment of thoughtlessness and the apprentice immediately winces. Were this explicitly a hunting patrol he might have doomed their chances.

But perhaps in a show of forgiveness from StarClan themselves, the forest does not silence itself. The birds continue to sing with the rustling leaves making up the rhythm of their song. And his clanmates speak quietly so as not to interrupt it. Adderpaw is scared of wolves. He files that away, his eyes squinting subtly. For a moment, he remembers. The terror. Running. Being unable to breathe right both from the adrenaline biting down on him and the weakness clinging to his limbs. Maybe– maybe he understands it, then.

When Raccoonstripe singles him out, though, that is not what the apprentice thinks of. He keeps his gaze for a moment before averting it harshly, looking down to the forest floor and where his paws disappear into the thick grass. To say that he fears nothing is an outright lie. Wording it, though, is where the difficulty is. Because in a way his fear is nothing. Being nothing. Being a kittypet, a failure, weak — the absence of his ambitions and the impending impossibility of achieving them. It wasn't so grand as Adderpaw's fear, he thinks. Though it was also far too big a thing to share where his denmates could hear him. "Being sick again," he finally mutters, voice low. It wasn't a lie. Somewhere deep inside, he still felt sick. Like a pathetic kittypet-blooded weakling curled up in the nursery, doing nothing but dying.

Maybe he was afraid he would never be anything else.

"Can't we just–" His voice cutting out briefly with a sound of frustration, he digs his paws in against Orangepaw's reassurance. As if he was so perfect and fearless that he could teach them to be strong. "Can we just do better? Without talking about it?"

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝗕𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 🙴 𝗕𝐎𝐍𝐄  ╱ 𝑾𝑨𝑺 𝑰𝑻 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑯 𝑰𝑻? ＜03.03＞ ⸙

• OOC. —
• 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐖. HE - HIM. YOUNG APPRENTICE OF THUNDERCLAN. ————— the son of an ex-kittypet has spent most of his life confined to the medicine den. bad circumstances and worse healing left him in a limbo between life and death which he only just escaped. there's still recovering to do before his clanmates see him as anything more than a weak, sick kittypet.  ╱ PENNED BY REVELATIONS
  
  a prickly-furred chocolate and slate cat with amber eyes. though with a blocky, nearly bulky frame, thistlepaw has been softened, rounded, and stretched thin by his uncertain life. without work or play to thicken the pads of his paws or add strength to his limbs, his skin plays like canvas stretched taut over its frame, his fur a hazy cloak to cover the sickness. he seems soft and unwell in equal measure. certainly not an apprentice to be. . .

• "speech"

​

 

[leafhusk]

it has been three moons or so, since the wolves. memories of early new-leaf are muddied with howls instead of birdsong, leaves rustling at night still cause her fur to prickle. she understood his struggles, but there is a limit to her empathy, unfortunately- her tongue is held for now; tawny ears prick as clanmates wiggle from the bushes. orangepaw is a naive boy, showing up after the predators were long gone, his words are as bright as his fur. they shine in a way that makes her squint, a bit confused, but she appreciates it. "orangepaw is right." thunderclan is here for them, just as they were when the howls echoed through the treetops. it's good that the younger apprentice can recognize that.

leafhusk meets her co-lead’s eye, quickly returning the greeting. his apprentice walks beside him like a shadow, just as upset to be here but more open about his complaints. she watches how thistlepaw’s scraggly claws dig into the earth. it’s going decent, she thinks, although there is no room for celebration or even a pat on her back. there are still straws left in her cup, thankfully, but leafhusk isn’t sure how much more willing she is.

she finally turns to adderpaw. the birds sing distantly, in the treetops he's requested to climb. she knows he finds comfort in their tunes, leafhusk is upset that she has to play therapist. "no, not yet." she's ignored this for far too long- all of the weight on the boy's shoulders is her fault. "i need you to sit with the fear. what happens when you freeze up because you’re so skittish?"

her body a song ⚘ a poem in candlelight

• hi
• 
  LEAFHUSK 」 thunderclan lead warrior・ex-kittypet
  

  a long-haired, fawn sepia molly with pale golden eyes, she keeps her fur neatly groomed and free of any mats or tangles. leafhusk is easy to talk too and befriend, her attitude doesn't change much towards other clans but she is visibly wary around outsiders.

  ◆ physically easy, mentally easy, attack in underline & tag
  ◆ healing & peaceful powerplay allowed・all opinions ic
  ◆ she / her・currently mentoring adderpaw
  ◆ written by maxine ♡ dogfriends. on discord

​

 

[ADDERSNAP]

Adderpaw stared longingly towards the tree with his features still shaped in discomfort, ears pinned to his skull as if it would block out the response of his mentor. Why did she drag him out here to talk about his feelings, to admit the fears that he tangled with (more than he would care to admit)? The apprentice whipped around to meet Orangepaw's gaze, hackles raised with embarrassment and shock from the younger boy's appearance next to him. He had heard? No, this was supposed to be private... Leafhusk should've taken him somewhere more secluded. Had she planned this? She did, didn't she?

Narrowing his eyes, he let Orangepaw's words wash over him for a moment as he flashed an accusatory glance towards his mentor. He was strong for admitting his fears, huh? The tomcat scoffed under his breath and rolled his eyes, shuffling into a tighter position as he wrapped his tail around his legs for comfort. It felt so mocking, like they were just giving him false kindness. A fake hope that maybe things wouldn't be so bad if he just talked about it... A defensive tone left his mouth as he spoke to the brightly colored tom, the strain in his voice clear. "But how can I be strong when I can't help to defend ThunderClan against wolves because of this..." Adderpaw didn't want to say it was a fear. Not in front of someone who wasn't Leafhusk. He cast his attention back to the molly for a second before responding to Orangepaw again. "I got no one else but me 'n' some family, so I'd still say I'm alone. How can you be there for me when I don't even know you?" It seemed to be a reasonable enough question for him, but something small ate away at his heart when the words were spoken aloud. Maybe he was wrong. But just maybe.

Raccoonstripe was... an unwelcomed appearance. The chestnut tabby's memory flashed back to when the lead warrior's teasing tone hit his ears about trying to "communicate" with a cricket. Adderpaw didn't fancy anyone who judged him on his niche interests, even though that seemed to be unavoidable. Light amber eyes dart to the equally uncomfortable Thistlepaw, who he couldn't say he was a big fan of either. His ear twitched at Raccoonstripe's insight, looking away up to the canopy to close his eyes with a deep sigh. Adderpaw noticed that whenever he breathed in the scent of the oaks, the wafting air of blooming flowers that it brought an unexplainable comfort to him. It was calming.

He sat with the older feline's words before directing his attention back to Thistlepaw who spoke of his worries of becoming sick again, though he didn't go into as much detail as Adderpaw had. He remembered when the other had first started coming out of the medicine den, unsure and just as bitter and uncomfortable as he was. It was the shared feeling of not being enough, not being able to stay strong when they had to be. Brown and white maw parted to echo Thistlepaw's last comment before Leafhusk spoke up, hesitant to close his jaw before creasing his lips into a small pout.

"What happens when you freeze up because you're so skittish?" It was a heavy question, and one that Adderpaw hadn't quite put any thought into. Shuffling his weight before giving up to stand on shaky paws, the anxious apprentice began to pace as he thought. "I need you to sit with the fear." Leafhusk's words rang in his mind as he slowly lowered himself back onto the prickly grass, jutting into his skin as he tapped his tail in a troubled manner. He hesitated before tentatively murmuring his answer. "I can't think, and everything kinda just goes... dark. I just try to get away so I can stay safe, protect myself. I- I know I should be protecting like the elders or t-the kits first, but... I don't know... I just. Freeze. I don't know how to face my fears. I... I don't want to protect others because I'm scared and I want to stay alive." How selfish was he, huh? What a pathetic ThunderClanner he is. Taking a deep breath to ground himself, the tabby speaks again. "I wanna stop being so scared. I wanna help my clan, I wanna be a better warrior. I... I want to make you proud of me, Leafhusk." Drifting his eyes towards the ground, he gets to his paws again before shaking out his as clean as it could be fur. Not making eye contact with anyone else, he mutters just loud enough for those nearest to hear: "'m going back to camp." He paused before adding, "I'll be there if you need me."

𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 ˗༉‧₊˚.༊* 𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍?

• / out + whoopsies very late but shshshshsh wanted to respond to this so he has ic development insteada me just sayin he got better :3

• 

• 

  an apprentice of thunderclan, adderpaw is one of the oldest in his rank at ten moons. he is being mentored by leafhusk, and is on track to graduate as a warrior later than his peers. displays a similar looking pattern to the adder snake, with a reddish-brown coat sporting splatters of white to compliment dark tones. often smells of fresh soil & musky wood.　✦

​