private SUCKS TO EXPLAIN ✦₊⁺ HOWLINGSTAR

Wide, hazel eyes flitting to and fro around camp. Dark - touched paws shuffled their way forward, as the body attached to them haunched forward to slither in the dark corners. Flinching at little things that surrounded him on all sides, dark ginger tail lashing against grass and ground. He mumbles under his breath, as he continues forward to his desired destination. Too large ears flicks against his mismatched skull, his wrinkles his nose in distaste at a bumbling clanmate almost bumping into him. Watch where you're going moron! Turning away, he makes his way to the leader's den with a huff.

Insecurity runs deep in his veins since he was born in the world. His too long, ugly frame– too tall and too spiky. He shakes his head, clearing his self-deprecating thoughts with a frown settling on his maw. He stands in front of the leader's cave for a… long while. Thoughts swirl in his mind, of what to say and how to say it. He knows he could be blunt to a fault, stuttering harsh sounding words from his lips. Hazel eyes with dark paws kneading the earth, he bites the inside of his cheek as he pushes through the lichen barrier.

"Er.. H-Howlingstar, Ma'am?" He pops his head in the den, with a nervous ear flick. He most make a horrendous sight to behold– his coat messy, sticking up in different ways possible, eyes all wide in false panic. He quickly skitters in Howlingstar's den. Feeling cool stone beneath his paws, he glances down at the smooth floor with raised brows. How could stone be this smooth? The question drifts in his mind in a whisper. He swats the thought away.

He unceremoniously plops onto his haunches, curling his tail around his hindpaws. Deerpaw has some important business to do. But, is it really important? He looks up at the tabby leader. "Uhm…H-Hi. I w-wanted to… s-speak wuh-with you." He scrunches his muzzle, at his stuttering. He doesn't think Thunderclan's leader caught what he said. He lets his head fall towards the ground, letting himself try to speak again. But, unfortunately he can't. He keeps his mouth shut, as he lets his paws mindlessly play with his messy plumed tail.
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  • ooc. @HOWLINGSTAR a nervous lad for you
  • no ref yet
  • ( i can't handle it… ) ˚₊‧꒰ა ♰ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ DEERPAW. ╱ thunderclan apprentice
    amab ; HE / HIM ; 7 MOONS & AGES EVERY 26TH.
    undecided / not looking / open to puppy-crushes
    a scrawny longhaired black/dark ginger tortie and white tom with hazel eyes.
    thoughts ; "Speech, ff7844" ; attacks only
    may powerplay minor harm ╱ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    smells like fresh caramelized apples & faint damp earth musk
    — all opinions are ic

    biography / @ on discord for plots
    — penned by calzone
 
"Come in," She commands from her nest, sitting up to observe the bumbling apprentice. This isn't abnormal, no. Ever since Deerpaw had been brought into her clan, he'd always been...different. Nervous, paranoid. Her gaze softens with sympathy as she steps out of her den and sits back on her haunches, tabby pelt rippling as she does so. She watches him as he stares down at the smoothed stone floor before beckoning softly with a warm, deep voice, "Come closer, Deerpaw. There's no need to be so anxious." She gestures with her muzzle for him to come sit, gaze remaining steady as he hesitates, his nerves palpable.

What is it, she wonders, that he struggles with so much? Why the uncertainty, the self-doubt? Or is it something he's afraid of? She does no know. What she does know is she wants him to feel safe here. "What is on your mind?" She continues gently. "Tell me what troubles you." Yes, it's an assumption to make that anything troubles him, but would it be such a stretch after seeing him like this, shaking and stumbling?
 
He twitches at the voice of Howlingstar, telling him to come closer. He lifts his gaze from the ground, to look at the tabby. He cautiously shuffles forward near the leader with a twitch of an ear. He can't help but be anxious. He felt like a paranoid fool with all his random jitters and twitches. "I- Sorry." His head low, as he settles in a spot near the leader while he flits his sight anywhere and nowhere.

Black lips press into a line, he doesn't know what to say. Should he... thank? her for accepting him into her clan when he just a snot - nosed kit? He hasn't thanked the ones who saved him from the cold. His stomach twists, uncomfortable at the aspect of being to late at thanking someone. The tom curls his tail tightly around dark paws, as he raises his eyes to stare at Howlingstar.

He doesn't know what to think, and that alone unsettles him. The apprentice feels stupid for being afraid. "I haven't thanked y-you yet.. I wanted to t-thank you for taking m-me in... As a k-kit. I'm sorry, if i-it's a little l-late since..." He trails off, as his lips twitch down as he opens his maw again to speak again. "S-since I'm an apprentice now...Er- Sorry." He finishes his sort-of apology. It's the most he has spoken to anyone. Ever.
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  •  
  • no ref yet
  • ( i can't handle it… ) ˚₊‧꒰ა ♰ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ DEERPAW. ╱ thunderclan apprentice
    amab ; HE / HIM ; 7 MOONS & AGES EVERY 26TH.
    undecided / not looking / open to puppy-crushes
    a scrawny longhaired black/dark ginger tortie and white tom with hazel eyes.
    thoughts ; "Speech, ff7844" ; attacks only
    may powerplay minor harm ╱ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted
    smells like fresh caramelized apples & faint damp earth musk
    — all opinions are ic

    biography / @ on discord for plots
    — penned by calzone
 
Howlingstar's gaze remains warm and understanding as she listens to Deerpaw's hesitant words. Her heart swells as he continues to stutter. She remembers so clearly the frightened little kit who had been brought into camp that day. It had been so dangerous out in the forest with wolves hunting them down. If you ask her, she'd say it had been a miracle he was found safe and sound. His gratitude, though timid and awkward, touches her and brings a smile to her face. "You have nothing to apologize for, Deerpaw," She says gently, attempting to soothe his frazzled nerves. "You never had to thank me, but I appreciate it nonetheless, okay? ThunderClan takes in those who need us; it was my duty to accept you into our ranks that day. I would not be a cat of honor if I didn't."

She leans forward slightly, her eyes softening. "Fate had a plan for you; you were meant to be here and we are all glad for it. And my daughter tells me you're doing well in your training - that's great!" She desperately hopes her words do well to ease his anxiety and convince him he does have a place here.