SUMMER; SUNDAY NIGHTS ✦ GRAYPAW

[EVENINGPAW]

When nighttime falls, Eveningpaw does not feel the need to challenge it. When the sun goes down and the moon replaces it amongst a flurry of stars, her heads feel droopy after a long day... and usually, it is easy to ignore that fact if she wishes to stay up later than the others. Tonight — and the last few nights —, she has been giving in to it without much hassle. Silence is no doubt a welcome addition to the apprentices' den.

Those with more than surface-level knowledge of her would recognize just how wrong it all is.

Eveningpaw does not seek out the comfort of her siblings or her mothers. Stars, definitely not Lichenstar; their gaze had been as scorching as getting smacked across the face would be. Perhaps it is the worst part, seeing disapproval in those eyes and not bothering to offer words of comfort to her daughter. And why should she? Magpiepaw is not to blame — Eveningpaw is. Despite the talks of how important it is to keep one's own self safe after she had left camp to look for Hazecloud, the lesson has evidently not stuck around enough to matter. It will surely change now, if the startling weight of guilt is anything to go off of.

She rarely bothers to be quiet enough, but Eveningpaw tries it anyway as she slips out of the den and into the night. Whoever might still be out and about evade her attention; blessed but unusual. Her only goal is to get to the stream that makes the camp into an island, secluded and quiet and just overall the perfect spot to drown in self-pity.

Usually, Eveningpaw likes what she sees in the reflection of the water. She gets to make eye contact with herself, no matter how swirly the liquid is, and gets to view herself through the lens of others. An easy way to sort out any lose tufts of fur as well.

She only sees the source of her own disappointment now. "So stupid," she tells herself, eyes narrowed against the quickly-building tears and against the anger that bubbles up.

@Graypaw

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[Graypaw]

Understanding washes over him in the days following the fox attack. His friend is quiet, unnaturally so, and while that was reason enough to worry, he knows. The need for sleep, for rest, it is familiar. So he does not say anything about it, resigned to long vigils deep into the night alone, his paws tucked under him as he occasionally looks to the softly rising and falling flank of the apprentice in the nest next to his. at least she's sleeping he thinks. At least the nightmares had not come to haunt her dreams, the way they so often haunted his.

Now, a new nightmare blossoms behind his eyes to keep sleep from him. One where Eveningpaw is taken from him at the claws of a foul smelling scarlet pelted beast. And the worst part? In these dreams, he is always just too late. The smallest fraction of a second is all it takes and he is rendered helpless, unable to save her as he is forced to watch the life be extinguished from her eyes.

The same way he had watched life ebb from Streamkit's.

His heart nearly skips a beat when she rises. He wwatches through half-lidded eyes as she carefully picks herself up and, quietly slips out of the apprentices den. Only a heartbeat passes before fear is making him push to his own paws. Quietly, he pads after her into the moonlit camp.

A breath of relief leaves his jaws when he sees that she is not leaving camp like in his nightmares, just perching by the stream, head bowed as if in prayer. For a moment, he debates turning around and going back to his nest, but then he catches sight of star-shine reflected in unshed tears and his footsteps quicken, taking him right to her side so that he may look down into the water too.

"What's stupid?" he asks quietly, voice gentle as his reflection comes to stand beside her own. He refuses to see himself in that water, instead choosing only to focus on her image.

( ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ) modern dream let down ✶⋆.˚

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  GRAYPAW RIVERCLAN APPRENTICE ; HE / HIM
  LILYBLOOM X LAKEMOON BROTHER TO EAGLEPAW ; MENTORED BY LAKEMOON
  

  A plush coated apprentice with a pelt marbled in varying shades of gray and white. He has dull green eyes and a tall stature. Most of his personality can be described as carefree though some also say that unmotivated is a more than apt term. His trust and love is easily won through praise but he will do little work to receive it.

  ✶ easy in battle + no formal training
  

 

[EVENINGPAW]

The source of usual vocal comfort only startles her — Eveningpaw had not anticipated she would get company anytime soon, and especially not Graypaw. Her lack of foresight in that regard should make it obvious... of course it's him. Of course he is the first to notice her restlessness night and her escapist tendency flaring too high to bear. For every hour she's spent beside him, for every soothing word her maw had formed, Graypaw intends to repay it tenfold; the notion itself would be enough to give her heart wings and send it flying, if she saw a thing past her anger.

"Me, who else?" Her voice is sharp, threatening to cut her lips as it comes, unusually so. The foreign tone makes her flinch- she catches herself before Graypaw could misread it. "I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, and I... I don't know how to deal with it."

It is as simple as that.

It is as complex as that.

How many of her Clanmates could utter that with such conviction? It makes her feel so impossibly smaller than all of them; whereas she used to think the exact opposite. All their lives are interwoven, outlined with rocky paths... this issue feels near-insignificant and self-made.

She does not need to go far to find a comparison like that. Graypaw, sweet Graypaw, comes to her aid — heeds her call without even having to say a single thing. Eveningpaw's eyes glaze over his form as if he's seeing him for the first time. Similar issues, entirely different outcomes. Magipepaw lives; Streamkit does not.

The hitch in her breath and the hiccup soon after come without her direct approval. Eveningpaw cannot put a swift enough end to her tears' onslaught even when she looks at him and wills herself to gather an ounce of composure, the self-awareness not helping her one bit. He should not see her like this... but at the same time, who else would make this much sense? The comfort of siblings are within reach; yet, selfishly, she couldn't think of a better place to lose herself at.
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