SUNSHINE OF MY LIFETIME ♡ LILACFUR

[mirepurr]

Night's cool chill settles upon every strand of fur like snow on ground, keeping Mirepurr vaguely at bay. It is what keeps them from shifting in place after all; the absence of daytime heat makes it possible to keep their paws safely tucked underneath themself. If sweat were to pool beneath plush pelt in addition to the whirlwind of emotions inside, they're certain an overabundance of energy would make them want to run a marathon.

Realization had slowly but surely made a home inside them. Lilacfur, by some miracle, had awoken — and perhaps it really is a byproduct of the stars' will, because it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time. Merciless fate had threatened to hold onto Mirepurr with cruel hands and sweep them off their feet, but they managed to find solace by Lilacfur's side... even despite the onslaught of recovery herbs' scents plastered onto her figure. It's selfish, they had told themself. The self-awareness did little to stop them from seeking comfort beside their injured friend.

They ought to say something. Emotions come with plenty to ramble about in Mirepurr's case, but those feel strangely lodged within the walls of their throat. It is decidedly easier to simply take the moment in; them and Lilacfur in a more secluded part of camp, under the cover of night.

"Does it still sting?" Their head tips to indicate they mean the wounds- scars, soon enough. "I'd rather have you unharmed, but I must admit, these make you look even more fierce."

@lilacfur

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[lilacfur]

The questions that followed her waking had slowed at last, finding little entertainment or use in the same coal-tasting lie. It stirred like smoldering char in her belly, rolling in her gut whenever her thoughts became interrupted with the intrusion of the truth. Her own niece, wandering in some wasteland with her paws coated in her own aunts blood.

And who knew how many others?

The company of her homebound kin and closest allies have kept her nerves abated, and it is the welcomed presence of Mirepurr that has her awake this night. Lilacfur tilted her chin up as the evening breeze greeted them, relieving any lingering heat.

"Not really, anymore." The lead answered with a small shrug. "It wouldn't stop for days when I first woke. Then it would happen whenever I touched it, which I often forgot." Though she cringed at the recollection she still chuckled at herself. "Now it's just... there. I can't feel much of anything around it, actually. Like nothing was ever there..." An entire eye was still a major loss for a warrior. An entire piece of her body gone, changing the way she was meant to fight and hunt now forever.

"You think so? Maybe it really will help me in a fight, then. Whenever these tensions between us and WindClan finally implode." Smogstar putting himself to action the moment he reached the Clans helm did not surprise her. She only hoped that when wartimes came around, he had a deputy to properly support him.

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• LILACFUR ✩ she/her, 22 moons, mother to marblepaw and sycamorepaw
  ⭃ lh lilac rosette with yellow eyes (carrying cinnamon, solid), a torn left ear, missing her left eye and most fur from a multitude of claw-marked scars
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by this loser ↛ @gonkpilled on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[mirepurr]

"That's a relief," Mirepurr murmurs, heavy with sincerity. In moments like these, they are hit with jealousy towards medicine cats and their paws guided by the stars — it is a feeling that lasts only a moment however. There is not a more brutal reminder than the knowledge that herbal knowledge and skills honed by time and dedication can only get you so far. Every warrior a medicine cat manages to heal is shadowed by those lost to injuries and infections, their fates only truly controlled by StarClan itself.

It is a privilege, then, that Mirepurr could wait for Lilacfur's return to consciousness from outside the medicine cats' den. No desperate efforts made to help her... only the endless, agonizing waiting.

Their eyes peer down at their paws, one lifted over the other in an usual-polite stance. Lilacfur's words reach their ears, and Mirepurr even nods along, but there is little motivation to engage in that conversation right now. They would feel guilty if it wasn't for the thundering pace of their own heart.

There is an attempt, at least, before Mirepurr plunges. "At least you'll be here when it does." Every ounce of honesty does not manage to reach their words. A confession bubbles under the surface, and for whatever reason, Mirepurr finds it hard to say... at least finally looking Lilacfur in the eyes (eye] propels them to begin. "I was terrified, you know. That you... you wouldn't... stars, don't make me say it. I don't think I realized how much I always want to say to you until you weren't able to hear them."
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[lilacfur]

Mirepurr's humor is far too similar to her own that even as they spoke with no jest in their tone, she found herself smiling in amusement. At least I'll be here when it does. She repeated in her thoughts with a scoff. She would prefer it that way, too, finding herself unprepared to seek out StarClan's embrace any time soon. Not when her children hardly left the nursery and Sycamorepaw especially needed her now.

Her eye met theirs as they lifted their gaze from their paws and she smiled. Mirepurr looked nervous (but when don't they?) and she curled her tail around theirs. But then they found their voice, speaking up and Lilacfur felt her ears grow hot before realizing what Mirepurr was saying. It blossomed in her chest, too, finding warmth flutter and prickle at her fur.

"Well... just say it then, dummy. I can close my eye for you if that makes it easier." And she did, closing her eye and leaning closer to her fellow lead.

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‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎┌── ooc ⋆⋅☾⋅⋆ info ──┐‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• 
  
  
  

• 

• LILACFUR ✩ she/her, 26 moons, mother to marblepaw and sycamorepaw
  ⭃ lh lilac rosette with yellow eyes (carrying cinnamon, solid), a torn ear and claw marks beside her eye.
  ⭃ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking ↛ see battle info here
  ⭃ penned by this loser ↛ @gonkpilled on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  

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[mirepurr]

Evidently, Lilacfur finds the funny bit about what Mirepurr said and runs with it — and who would they be, if they did not join her on that? Their own mouth curls into a sheepish little smile. Of course she will be here when it does. Mirepurr themself might not have such strong feelings against WindClan like she does, but it is endearing to accompany Lilacfur's vendetta-of-sorts anyway.

That pocket of relief amidst such serious of a conversation does not last for long. Lilacfur sticks to Mirepurr's words, questions them so much more directly than what they had assumed, and backs them into a corner. They bark a sharp laugh at her suggestion. "Maybe it would." She closes her eye even before they confirm it for her, and Mirepurr indulges in a one-sided staring contest without her knowledge. Or at least... initially, because she definitely feels keen eyes burn into her cheeks after a few heartbeats.

"I, I mean... I don't know." Great StarClan, how does anyone even do this? Mirepurr attempts to take control back; the conversation has shifted into something else now... they feel like a fish out of water, gaping for release that would never come. Not unless they answer Lilacfur.

They take a moment to steady themself, turning their eyes to those paws again. Yep, still the same as five seconds prior. "At first, it was just because I was scared. For you, obviously, but also because Chilledstar has led us for so long... it was impossible to imagine ShadowClan without them. And you weren't there to talk to about it. I suppose that made it harder." The ramble comes before Mirepurr even has time to think about it. Lilacfur was right; it is easier to talk if she pretends not to scorch their soul with an intense gaze.

But...

Mirepurr furrows their brows. This still does not sound perfect- not anywhere near the feeling that encapsulates their heart. What they are saying is true, but this is not about Chilledstar. It's about her.

"Everything is easier to handle if you're around, I think that's what I'm getting at. Like I can move mountains if you're here with me."
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