sensitive topics SWITCH THE COLORS &. spectermask / found kitten

[CATERPILLARFUZZ.]

BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS​

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//labeled sensitive for child abandonment mentions !!

why had her mom left her here? she insisted that it was for the best, and that she would certainly be better off, but the little kit wasn't too sure about that. she wasn't... too sure about much of anything, but she truly did miss her mother. the warmth that came from being with her, the scent of her milk that slowly began to dry up as the young kitten no longer needed it, and her gently licks between her ears. her tail swept nervously against the ground as she lowered herself to sniff. she didn't recognize any of this. if she could see, surely she wouldn't have a single clue of what she was looking at, but the musky scent of the swamp totally engulfed her senses. her mother new exactly what she was doing. pinning her ears back, she stood back up, flinching at the sound of something nearby. she sniffed the air frantically, squealing loudly.

"wh-what– who's th-there! don't come cl-closer, i-i– i mean w-we bite! yeah! there's more than one of us here! and we are b-big and s-scary!"

she whimpered, trying to fluff up her fur to become intimidating. she didn't know if it was working. she wouldn't have been intimated by such a tactic– she hoped it would work with others.
​

 

[spectermask]

They've returned to camp and Specter should be grateful, really. He should be happy they get to sleep in their nests even if the state of their home is in shambles. But... No matter what he does, where he looks he finds their blood splattered across the earthen floor below. Even if washed away by rain, eroded by time he swears he can see it. And it stains his paws too, his back, strangles him and threatens to drown him. He can't stay in the hollow any longer, he can't look them in the eyes... Not now, and where he had once found comfort in ice-blue eyes he finds they've changed. Anyone would, after dying. He wretches in camp, he can't stay, he can't. So he gets out, and he runs and he runs and he runs in to her.

A branch cracks beneath his paw as he wanders aimlessly, slightly stumbling at the sound. Then theres a squeak, wanting to come off as indignant. Her tone is anything but. She's a puffball, a mewling, pathetic little thing that makes them stop in their tracks. He almost wants to laugh at the cruel irony of the situation, he is everything she should fear, sharp teeth, tall and scary - yet she is everything he fears and more, childhood innocence wrapped in a tiny little present. Just for him to find, he's sure it makes it worse.

I shouldn't have even left.

He does laugh, finally. His chuckle begins to rise, a slow, rumbling noise. He squints at everything and nothing in particular. If he had looked closer, been more aware, he would have seen the dull eyes. He would have been aware of her lack of sight if it had been a moon prior, when his senses had not dulled, when his mind did not swim with negativity. And yet- yet theres something unknown in his emotions, it rears its ugly head and he's not sure what it is. Pearl-white fangs peak out from lips pulled in to a brutal grin, theres anything but malice in his smile. He is so incredibly tired.

He wants to sleep.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, kid. I know its just you here. You don't have to lie." there would have been silence for... a long time before he spoke. Theres only one faint scent that hangs in the air, so unless hes about to be ambushed by cats better at stealth than Shadowclan themselves... He composes himself, a tired sigh tumbling out past his defenses. He swallows hard, weighing his choices. He could leave her out here, he could, and no one would know. Its a terrible thought that he immediately disagrees with and hes sure that whatever hes feeling right now wouldn't have let him. He draws closer, ghost-esc with paws barely touching the marsh floor. He took an oath. An oath he shall follow, even if they're not the happiest when he returns. Another mouth to feed. More repairs would be needed. A queens attention would be taken away from their own litter to care for her.

He figures he could hunt more. Bring Eerie out with him. Hunt, and hunt, until his paws cracked.

The cloud lifts from his mind, if only temporary. A figure drenched in void becomes a tiny tortoiseshell and she has a face. She has sightless green eyes. Shes panicked. Shes small. Shes defenseless, she would be eaten alive out here. He frowns. "I'm not gonna hurt you." he reiterates; is it a promise he makes to himself or to her? He does not imagine him doing anything but embracing her with gentle paws. "Not gonna hurt you, promise." a prayer.

He sits, a tail-length away from her. He thumps his paws idly against the ground, hesitation paralyzes his thoughts for a moment. He shakes his head. "Whats your name?" his voice is softer, still gruff, tinged with exhaustion around the edges- but she would know kindness. Fate must have it out for me. What did he do to deserve this? Lots of things. He was not built for gentle things, he was built to scratch and bite and tear. Frustration builds pressure behind his eyes and for the second time this month he sheds tears, but unlike the last it is not built from a friend dying. He does not know what to do and it confuses him beyond belief. They dry just as quickly as they come.

"I'm Spectermask." the least he can do is tell her his name.

// sorry hes being weird!!!!!!!!!​

"speech"​

 

[CATERPILLARFUZZ.]

BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS​

---

the voice makes her shrink back, and he insists that he knows that she's by herself. she... isn't sure how he knows that but whoever he is, clearly he knew better than she did. she didn't mean to lie, honest she didn't, she was just so scared. she wanted her mom. she wanted to be cuddled warmly against her again, pressing against her stomach and gently kneading her fur until she fell asleep. her nose twitched at his scent, frowning slightly. he smelled so deeply of the swamp, and yet his very own scent was different than her mother's... or any cat she might have stumbled across.

"uhm... i'm sorry i didn't mean to lie."

she whispered, tail swaying behind her. he promises a couple times that he wouldn't hurt her and parts of her childlike innocence wants to believe so, but other parts just don't know. and then he asks a question that she doesn't know the answer to. she wasn't sure what a name was, so did that mean she didn't have one?

"what's... a name? what does that mean?"

​

 

[spectermask]

I'm sorry I didn't mean to lie. If he had not been staring at the scrap of fur then he most likely would not have heard her. Their tail lashes to and fro, something tugs at his heartstrings. Its much akin to a distant call, the way it gradually makes itself known. Green eyes narrow in thought, his head swaying side to side as he thinks. "... You're okay, kid. I know you didn't mean to lie." a heavy sigh escapes his lips, he's not sure what to do. Despite his conviction of taking her in earlier, something doesn't feel right. Something... Something-

He recognizes the feeling now, something akin to primal protectiveness. He felt it once before, boiled with rage in a concotion ready to kill; Eeriepaw had been attacked by another apprentice and Specter had thrashed, tore a gaping wound in his shoulder trying to get out of the other cats grasp to defend him. His scar slightly aches, dull, as if he's reliving the experience once more. Eyes soften.

This kit was no threat. It does not make sense for him to treat her so... off. He should not, and will not, hold her at arms length like he does for his clanmates. And her fur color, despite being dotted with orange splotches, reminds him so much of Eerie as well.

She pipes up again. "What do you mean?" Specter is taken aback. Whats a name? WHATS a NAME? He nearly laughs before he composes himself. "You do not know what a name is, little bug?" magically does he gain the patience, the warmth in his voice even surprising her. Little bug, a pest with most, but... She reminds him of a small little honeybee. For some reason... "A name... Is what defines you. A name is you." he draws closer, metaphorical brows furrowing in slight worry. What all did she know? "So do you have a name?" he asks once more, eyes darting around the undergrowth. Please, have a name. He doesn't want to come up with something on the spot.​

"speech"​

 

[CATERPILLARFUZZ.]

BLINDED BY THE LIGHTS​

---

spectermask explains what he believes a name is and she still has no answer. she does not have one. she's only ever been called little one by her mother but never by others. that couldn't have been her name, right? she blinks yet again, pale and sightless gaze moving in the direction of the tom cat.

"n....no. i don't."

for fear of being too attached to her own kitten, her mother did not name her. as soon as she was born, she was going to be abandoned. maybe her mother loved her, or maybe she didn't. but all she knew was that she... was left behind. her mother said sorry and promised to visit some day but not any time soon. her brows furrowed before she just frowned.

"i like your name. spectermask is very nice. who named you?"

​

 

[spectermask]

His eyes narrow. He cannot help but feel appalled, how in the world did she not have a name? Something burns in his mind, something searing, something scorching. Anger, perhaps, but not at her. Not directed to her, never at her. They cannot help it, they put an exasperated paw to their cheek and drags downwards, trying to soothe the pounding in their head. "I named myself," it's not... Entirely a lie, Specter came from his own mind. Mask came from Briarstar and her need for warrior names. "I'm glad you like it." because he feels indifferent about it. He doesn't remember the last time he cared about what he was called, just not her name. He knows he'll go ballistic.

"Okay... Okay. We'll give you a name, alright?" he lets out another long sigh, he's been doing way too much of it. Eyes dart around cause he has no ideas- "Caterpillar. We'll name you Caterpillar, little bug." theres one crawling along a fern nearby, tiny, fluffy like her. And it works, because it's a cute name. Maybe... Maybe he should have said something like Butterfly, though. "Listen... I'm gonna take you back to my camp, okay? And you're going to meet some really cool cats, okay?" he shuffles his paws. "You'll be safe there... Is that okay with you?" gentleness comes easy now. He doesn't like it. He doesn't like the rounded edges he has begun to develop these days. ​

"speech"​