❝ALL ARE JUST SHADOWS WITHOUT IDENTITY❞ — basics
─ LILACPAW ( previously Lilackit ) / ”Lill, Lila“
─ closeted nb / currently she/her pronouns
─ physically 7 moons / spiritually around 12-14 years old / ages on the 8th
─ Shadowclan apprentice
─ Named for her mother's favorite color, has a positive outlook on her name because of it
─ VC is Amber Lee Connors, specifically as the titular character from Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina
─ speech in #AD8AE1
appearance — ❝ANSWERS WITHOUT LOVE LIKE A DOLL❞
HEALTH 100% ─ [REFERENCE ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*]
LH chocolate rosette tabby with low white and green eyes ─
Upon first glance, the dead seem to walk again in this young molly, with rosettes painted across her fur in the same alignment as her late father. White splashed onto her face and paws in just the right way, and then you keep looking. What should've been cinnamon has deepened into a warm chocolate, ocean blue has bloomed into a dull spring green. A standing collar of briars rises out of sleek fur to stand guard like the camp walls. Remnants of her mother dust over memoires of her father like the finishing touches on a fine artwork. Though she keeps little of her own opinions right now, the mix of her parents that makes up her appearance makes her feel proud. Though however vapid it may appear, she spends many a free moment looking into clear puddles to wonder what her father might've looked like. To try and put a face to the stories of his grandeur. ─
LH chocolate rosette tabby w/ low white (carrying cinnamon, solid and dilute)
✧ GENETICS ────
none
✧ INJURIES ────
Vaguely sweet, mainly has notes of freshly fallen leaves and petrichor
✧ SCENT ────
none rn
✧ IMPORTANT INVENTORY ────
❝I DON'T EXIST, NOWHERE, NOT AT ALL?❞ — mentality
─ INFJ-T "The Advocate" // Tritype 692 "The Good Samaritan"
── At their core, INFJs, or 'Advocates', are highly unique, creative individuals who strive to better the world around them. Their success comes not from material possessions or status, but from helping others and doing right by them. Heavily troubled by injustices, they possess lofty ideals and ambitions in hopes of weeding the garden of life from the inside out, and scorn the idea that such problems were given room to grow in the first place. They never lose sight of their morals and values in pursuit of their goals, even as a means to an end. Advocates tend to be very insightful, cutting to the heart of the matter and making it easy for them to discern others' motivations, feelings and needs. This can tend to make them isolated from their peers, and in the case of Turbulent Advocates, can make them more prone to hyper-empathy. This is a blessing to some, helping them to better help their community, but combined with the Advocate's passion and perfectionism, can cause emotional burnout as they try to help everyone without doing the same for themselves, or letting anyone else for that matter. Though they have ambitions for the future their need for excitement may make them over plan these ambitions, never actually starting on the project itself. Turbulent Advocates value and consider people as any Advocate would, but they go so far as to feel as if they need people in their lives, despite their introverted nature. This can lead them to bouts of indecision as they consider the opinions of the group and people they value the opinions of, as well as stifling their individuality to prevent conflict. Its a common way for them to protect themselves.
── The Good Samaritan likes people and want to find ways to engage with them. Your sense of pride comes from getting along with others and being of assistance. You are known for your easygoing and friendly disposition. Your life mission is to identify what is problematic and needed, then find peaceful solutions for those concerned. A true trouble-shooter, you are happiest when you can help others in conflict bridge their differences. Your blind spot is that you can be so focused on being a peacemaker, tending to the needs of others and getting along with them that you can fail to voice your own truth and act in a timely manner. You are overly identified with being a ‘nice’ person. Your growing edge is to recognize that being nice does not always create peace and that being passive does not mean that you are nice. True charity comes from listening to your heart and acting in accordance with what is needed without strings attached even if it causes conflict. The Good Samaritan tritype is the gentle, supportive type. They are identified with getting along with others and not making waves. They are one of the most passive tritypes and avoid confrontation. They struggle with indecision. They are not identified with their aggression and are passive- aggressive. Of all tritypes this is the most helpful and good natured.
─ CURRENT ARCANA: Eight of Swords [Reversed]
── The Eight of Swords is a card that deals in the feeling of being trapped. A woman stands surrounded by swords, blindfolded, appearing as though she has no way out. Though in the case of its reversal, it is being trapped by ones own inner thoughts. Self-imposed limits or ideals may be preventing you from moving forward, and your inner critic becomes your biggest advisor. Unable to take the things you need, you are pulled further and further away from your goals and ambitions. You're too worried about getting cut by the swords that you cannot see that there is a way to escape, because not only have your eyes been blinded, so have your instincts.
─ Mimics accents and vocal niches when talking to someone; tends to pause or emphasize words for the correct effect so she isnt misunderstood; exaggerates emotions vocally sometimes because she sounds monotonous
─ daydreams often about what could've been, the worlds in which briarstar and amber never died, where slitherpaw never left, especially at night, but unless she's talking to someone she's not quite here; cannot sit still, something's always moving or she's always doing something for someone; has to eat all prey beginning from the back of the neck, down the spine and back around
✧ ─ When she was younger, Lilacpaw was full of life, a stream of sunshine in the shadows. She often gathered her siblings to play, weaving tale after tale with the ease of a spider and its web. Grand adventures of the ancient clans that she would play out with her littermates, her older siblings subjected to being an audience if they had the spare time. Diligent in her future role in the clan, she often took to taking mental notes of warriors and apprentices alike, but most of the notes were on her elder family members, the guiding stars of Shadowclan. Role models to all they were to look after sure, but to little Lilac...they were and perhaps still are, the epitome of what she should strive for to help support the cats she loved. She excelled greatly in her apprenticeship at first, going toe to toe with her mentor in tongue, mind and claw.
And then it all came crashing down when Briarstar died two moons ago. Lilacpaw seemed to....change.
Many would now call her two-faced, wishy-washy and hypocritical, and they would be right. Mask after mask after mask adorns Lilacpaw's personality, one for each cat, modeled to what she thinks they need her to be. A distinct sense of loss permeates her very being, loss of family, loss of normality, loss of hope and trust in a council of spirits that was supposed to protect and love them and yet sat back and watched as her home and family turned upside down and inside out. In the hopes of keeping Shadowclan in higher spirits, she became a mirror. The opinions of others became hers, and hers were stashed in a closet. Its made her a much better subordinate than in the past, but her individuality is being destroyed in the process. With her faith in Starclan shattered as well, Lilacpaw is desperately trying to cling onto routines, as well as the past, though the once star student continues to fall short in her apprenticeship, even as she overworks herself to become better.
relations — ❝AMBIGUOUS LOVE, COLORLESS LOVE, ❞
gen 2, Briarstar × Amber / Littermate to Starlingpaw, Slitherpaw, Ravenpaw, Marrowpaw, Teaselpaw and Twilightpaw ─
Niece to Bonejaw, sister to Pitchstar, X, X and X ─
no children ─
Single, not really looking ─
½ of nothing / no past relationships ─
friends include Brookpaw / enemies include no one ─
her family, Nightwillow [npc mentor], Brookpaw ✧ TRUSTS ──
Granitepaw (on the down low) ✧ DISTRUSTS ──
❝EVERYTHING ELSE SEEMS LIKE OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS❞ — extras
─
SPOTIFY //
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──
Songs are either a vibecheck based on sound or lyrics I felt would represent Lilacpaw's current self and development in the imminent future
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PINTEREST //
✧
──
lots of purple, ironic star aesthetic mixed with florals and shadows
interactions — ❝BUT SIMPLY CALLING OUT SINS DON'T BRING YOU CLOSER TO GOD❞
permission for powerplay of nonviolent actions granted / may powerplay nonviolent actions ─
physically easy / mentally very easy ─
will not instigate fights / will not finish fights / will always show mercy / won't purposefully provoke, not easy to provoke / tends to flee ─
