backwritten tell me now who is it i'm supposed to be?

[Ternfrost.]

WONDERED WHAT IT'S LIKE TO
TOUCH AND FEEL SOMETHING​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

maggotfur ♛ 23 moons ♛ female ♛ she/her ♛ shadowclan queen ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Mirestars return is a welcome thing - and yet, the molly had made no attempt to move from her place within Starlinghearts den. Instead, she asks a favor of the molly - to ask the newly star-blessed leader to speak with her now that they've returned. She's thought about it long enough, she thinks - mind turning the question she's been posed over and over again. A new name - one that was hers.

She'd never once thought of her name as something... bad. Sure, she'd known of her fathers intentions with such a title - that she would be reduced to the same carrion eating filth. And yet, she'd thrived under such conditions, hadn't she? She'd survived, drug her way through the mud and climbed higher then all of it, her claws and teeth stained red. Maggotfur - a name she'd worn with pride. And yet-

Claws flex where she holds them near her face, and she stares at them blankly - only the sound of pawsteps dragging her from her musings. " Mirestar, " comes lilting voice, head turning to greet them even when her body does not follow. Its just s strange as the first time she'd called Smogstar as such. " Thank you... for making time for me, " she says, politely enough despite the blank look in her eyes.

There are no tears left to shed now, she's already wasted them all on the medicine cats words - emotions once more lifeless and dulled. Tail twitches at the memory, and she presses on. " Starlingheart asked me a question - and I have an answer now, I think, " she says, blinking slowly. " If you and the stars see fit to bless me - I no longer wish to be called Maggotfur, " she admits, though even that much leaves her discomfited. Is it always this hard to be... open?

" I want... I want to be like them - to have a name like Magpiepaw, or Starlingheart, " she says tiredly, shifting her weight on her paws. She misses him, no matter how much she wishes that awful feeling would disappear. " Will you give me a new one? " she says again, stare unblinking as she waits. It is strange, to ask something of the newly made leader so soon - but the thought refuses to leave her mind. The want - to be someone else - to be something more.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

M O N S T E R , - H O W - S H O U L D - I - F E E L - ?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

 

[MIRESTAR]

It is the first time someone requests Mirestar's attention; their first true act as a leader, depending on the reasons behind Maggotfur's summoning. Every single word and movement is deliberately made ever since their return from the Moonstone. The memory of StarClan's presence and their blessings is still somewhat cloaked in dream-like essence, but Mirestar knows it to be true... and that is the only aspect that reminds them that yes, they are indeed ShadowClan's leader now. They ought to act the part.

So when Starlingheart tells them about Maggotfur wishing to see them, Mirestar wastes no time.

"Of course. Anytime," they say, and they mean every single syllable. Chilledstar themself had striven to be better... if their time hadn't been cut so short, perhaps they would have succeeded. Mirestar still remembers the way sadness clung to that black-and-white fur like mud. With any luck, that won't be a repeating occurrence.

Mirestar does not manage to get a glimpse into Maggotfur's thoughts. Perhaps she seems a bit more agitated, but ultimately, Mirestar is more nervous than she is.

Their ears twitch, a forward movement that fully betrays their curiosity. A name change? "I see..." Mirestar takes a seat right across her, wide eyes traversing her face. Her name had always been an oddity... for what it's worth, she had not spat it back into others' faces, nor did she frown each time someone called her name. Maggot is not something Mirestar would call their own offspring, should they be lucky to have some... but it would have been impossibly impolite to tell her as such.

It seems she has had enough of something so deprecating. They couldn't be more glad for it.

(Do they possess the right to deny mothers and fathers to wield such cold names in the future? If the stars allow them to strip Maggotfur of it now, then surely...)

"Free like the birds themselves." Mirestar nods. No longer would Maggotfur's name stand out so starkly. "Consider it done." They will have to ponder on it — she deserves a name that she will love, one she does not mind carrying to her grave —, but they do not want to prolong such an excitement for long.

Mirestar dares to smile at her; dares to bear a further question, and they are cautiously optimistic about her sparing them their fur. "If you don't mind me asking... what led you to make this choice in the end?"
​

 

[Ternfrost.]

FROM COFFIN TO THE CRADLE
I GOT DEMONS, I GOT ANGELS​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

ternfrost ♛ 23 moons ♛ female ♛ she/her ♛ shadowclan queen ​

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Mirestars acceptance comes easily enough, and though it doesn't show, the molly feels relieved. 'Free like the birds' - Maggie can only nod, blinking slowly. Free - if free means bound by the stars themselves. She does not mind, rather she relishes it - the thought that perhaps she can bring herself closer to starclan - be welcomed in with open paws should her day come. Magpiepaws absence aches like a hole in her chest, and raggedbites memory is not much better.

" Starlingheart... asked, " she admits, head tipping. She'd never been asked before - she'd seen grimaces here and there, the pitying looks for both her name and her circumstances. And she'd seen the indifference - looked up into the gaze of a leader who'd seen no issue in a child named maggotkit nor another nearly named garbagekit. But starlingheart had asked, and it was as if the pieces of a puzzle had come together before she even knew she was solving it.

" I gave my kits names that were... kinder. And when she asked, I realized I wanted the same, " it feels uncomfortable, admitting this - vulnerable, like she's bearing her neck to let fangs tear into it. But she simply quiets after a moment, tail flicking and ears drawn back.

━ actions & " speech, " & 'thoughts/quotes' ━

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I - S H O U L D- H A V E- B E E N- B O R N- W I T H-
A -W A R N I N G- L A B E L

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━