⚛︎₊˚‧ Amberhaze had spent the entirety of this day mentally preparing himself for the upcoming gathering. He knew he may see familiar faces, some sooner than he might like, and that didn't even compare to the amount of tension and hostility that was sure to come from the leaders attending after the recent war between themselves and Thunderclan with the aid of Riverclan- something that was fortunate for them, but not so much for Thunderclan- Shadowclan's alliance with their river wading neighbors proved to be indispensable in ensuring a shared victory- something that the less fortunate of those involved would not soon forget. Should all hell break loose when every clan were present, Amberhaze knew he would need to consider every possible outcome and every possible angle of action in order to keep himself and those he cared for safe.
However, when he was unexpectedly ushered out of camp by Wormwatcher, he would have no complaints. That is not to say he wouldn't jump and whirl around with shaking limbs, his high-strung and nervous nature always getting the better of him even despite Wormwatcher being one of the very few cats he trusted with his own life wholeheartedly. His fears would slowly melt away as the two of them continued to tread deeper into the shadowed marshlands, well away from any potential prying eyes or curious ears. As he trailed obediently behind his former mentor and older brother (the fact they were not related by blood mattered little to him, for their relationship ran deeper than whatever fabricated "bond" the concept of blood alone was said to provide.) he could sense something...unnatural. The taller oriental's persistent scowl seemed more heavy set than usual, the way he would swallow with difficulty despite having yet to say a word, the confident gait which was typical of him had been stifled by something like hesitation, all of which was unlike him. It made Amberhaze's eye twitch with anxiety, his intact ear drooping against his head just slightly before they came to a halt.
"W-What- Um...Why did you...bring me here? I-Is something wrong?" His voice would sharpen as he would question the security of the situation, the way the abyssal tom automatically defaulted to the potential of the worst whenever something unexpected was cast his way almost comedic in its predictability. Wormwater's response was curt, almost annoyed initially- telling him to cast his paranoid stare aside, that he was supposedly the only one he had left at the present moment who he could trust...
Trust with what...? Amberhaze would wonder, his neck craning forward slightly as if he expected the other to relay hushed, trivial gossip into his ears as he so often had in the past. However, what was exchanged was anything but that.
"I met someone."
Amberhaze's blinding orange optics stretched wide, his pupils quivering with anticipation as he remained silent. Surely there was more to this? Questions began to swirl around in the cataclysmic toms mind, things like;
When? How? Who? Yet he did not dare ask any of these things aloud. He figured he should allow some right to privacy, and if his friend truly wanted to disclose such information, he would have. Wormwatcher seemed uncomfortable as he shifted his weight, straightened his posture in an attempt to remain composed. Amberhaze figured he wasn't used to displaying such...vulnerability, especially over something as touchy as feelings or romance. It was a very personal and intimate thing, two words that he wouldn't even pop into his head should he ever be asked to describe what or who Wormwatcher was.
"I will get to know him better. I will allow myself..."
For a moment, Amberhaze would remain silent, the corners of his mouth twitching sporadically as his jaw slowly opened and hung agape in an attempt to find the proper words- or perhaps provide the appropriate reaction that he assumed Wormwatcher hoped that he would provide him-
"Well, uh- That's...That's great! T-That you- uh- m-met someone, I mean." He tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, offering his companion an uncertain smile that seemed a little too much like a grimace. He was unable to recognize this wasn't something that Wormwatcher viewed as positively, growing increasingly more agitated after his former apprentice's response. As the blue oriental closed in on Amberhaze, the smaller tom would lean back until he was practically sitting on his haunches, his pathetic excuse of a smile swiftly dissipating as he bit his lower lip in a show of renewed stress. Had he made him angry?
"Do I need to really say it clearly? I'm unbelievable, Amber'. Why can't I just be normal, huh?"
He sounded defeated, maybe even a little embarrassed. The question struck Amberhaze like cement dropped onto his skull.
Normal? With visible confusion, he would say nothing- what was there to say? Truthfully, he barely even understood that 'normal' meant in this context. Perhaps, Amberhaze being as Amberhaze was, he grew to view almost everyone around him as 'normal' considering how unapologetically
abnormal he happened to be. Nevertheless, he could tell that this was deeply important to his brother to the point it was eating him alive. This was an act of desperation in itself, someone who was lost and trying to reach out for the light before them that promised to guide them back home. He was not well off with words, admittedly, but he understood what it meant to feel uncertain, to cast judgement upon yourself for what you may be unable to control. But would it be enough? Was anything that Amberhaze could offer Wormwatcher
enough? He concluded that it would be worse if he didn't try at all.
"D-Do you think...Um- this person would-...like someone who's just...normal?" A weak start, admittedly, but it was too late to go back now. He would take a deep breath before continuing.
"I-I think...maybe what isn't- um...normal a-about you is- is exactly what- what makes you so... He would pause to wrack his brain for an appropriate word, allowing his expression to turn quizzical before finally deciding on one he had not often heard before.
"...Congenial." He would flash another painfully forced looking smile, though it could have very well have been a byproduct of that perpetual trepidation he always wore so plainly for all the world to see. He was out of his element, and yet he couldn't in good conscious leave Wormwatcher with nothing. He hoped this was enough, that
he was enough, for he was no Ferndance.
✧ ° . ⚠︎ . ° ✧
-
ooc: —
-
AMBERHAZE — HE/HIM ･ 19 MOONS ･ WARRIOR OF SHADOWCLAN ･ PENNED BY SLOANE
black oriental shorthair. a short but lengthy black cat with a boney build and striking ocher eyes filled with unveiled trepidation.
