the anxiety, it lies to me - silverbreath

[Lilacbird]

stones in riverclan were symbolizations to friendship, lovers, crushes- but this one, it reminded her of clouds. of Silverbreaths coat, white with grey stripes. and she had finally decided she wanted to push the line a bit and show silverbreath she wanted to be friends.

she was scared, the anxiety scraping and clawing at her stomach until it felt like it was ribbons. he wouldn't laugh, he wouldn't scoff- otherwise why would he have made it so obvious that he wanted to be friends?

if it wasn't for that day, watching the clouds with him- laughing, giggling, and having fun she wasnt sure that she would want to test the waters and make friends. she was hesitant even still as she pressed a paw gently to the stone and rolled it under grey paw pads.

should she? would he get the wrong idea? no, he had a mate. he should know better. and even if she could slightly feel the flutter in her heart she'd shove it down. it meant nothing.

shed take a breath before gently picking up the stone in her teeth. she didn't have to look long for the tom. with a soft smile she approached, setting the stone on the ground. "hey um.. I found this stone- and, well... it reminded me of us watching c-clouds. you, well.. you brought me out of my shell a bit. I wanted to t-tell you I appreciate you." she shuffled her paws a bit, nudging the rock closer
to him.

@Silverbreath

​

 

[Silverbreath]

*+:｡.｡ Silverbreath was lucky enough to not get that anxious stab over whether or not someone could be labeled as his friend. Honestly, he just assumed everyone he treated in a friendly manner would think of him as a friend as he easily thought of them as such in kind. So if Lilacbird had come out and asked him if they were buddies, Silverbreath would've been pleasantly surprised she'd had any doubt before. After all, they were automatic friends simply by being clanmates, and after the fun he had cloud-watching with her, they certainly couldn't be described as anything less. But he supposes he wouldn't be entirely surprised to know she needed proper validation on the matter as the poor girl radiated anxiety and self-doubt. A shame, considering she was quite lovely to be around, a gem to talk to, and a wonderful cloud-watching companion. He hoped the clan would see that bright-eyed side of her sooner rather than later, but pushing a turtle out of its shell too soon was not ideal.
Still, knowing he was someone who did manage to help her trust the world a little more was a very warm feeling indeed.

"Morning Lilacbird" Silverbreath would purr, before falling silent as she filled the air with her soft birdsong. A gift - for Silverbreath? He wasn't particular to the customs of Riverclan, but he had heard about how cats would share nice-looking rocks when in the mood to express an appreciation for a shared bond. Silverbreath didn't think hard about his kindness towards others being returned with gestures like this - he didn't need to be showered by pretty rocks to know he was appreciated - but he's pleasantly surprised by how his heart skips a beat when Lilacbird rolls the stone to him and explains the reason behind the gift.

His ears lower as his heart melts with newfound adoration for the molly, moved by her kindness, "That's very sweet of you, Lilacbird, thank you" It was certainly a lovely rock, and he could see the resemblance to clouds as the colors swirl over the pebble's surface. He knows instantly he's going to treasure this rock for as long as he lives. After taking the rock, the tom would proceed to lean forward and bump his forehead to hers, a purr rumbling through his chest as he says, "Watching the clouds with you will always be a treasured memory for me, too, thank you for joining me that day"
Lest the sentimental man get all teary-eyed, the man would then happily announce, "But I can't possibly accept this without giving you something back in kind! Say, you're not busy, are you? I want to find a pebble to give to you, too now, and I'd love your company while I look!"

*+:｡.｡ Updated 12/15/23

• HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG AAAAAAAAAAAAAH AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWGH I LOVE LILAC SO MUCH OH MY GOD
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☮ Silverbreath
  ☮ DMAB— He/Him — Bisexual
  ☮ 35 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☮ Father to Carp-paw, Mentoring Goldenpaw
  ☮ Riverclan — Warrior
  
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☮Physically hard | mentally hard
  ☮ Attack in bold #7d7d7d
  injuries: None currently

​

 

[Lilacbird]

She did indeed wish she didn't need the validation, but she desperately did need it. She didn't know why, but it was definitely a trust thing. And she really didn't want to lose the friendship that had bloomed in such a short amount of time. Since the cloud watching, she was indeed trying harder to form bonds with her clan. Though, she still held barriers and a protective shell over herself. She just wanted to make sure that she was not going to be hurt again.

But she had accepted the fact that death couldn't be helped- but the ones that had willingly left her, she couldn't help but be unsure, and feel like she did something wrong to be left like that. Freya (npc) was her best friend once upon a time, and now she lived elsewhere without a single word of a goodbye or a reason why. Zyra (npc) had joined her side, and Lilacbird only felt like the common denominator of why they chose to leave her.

And Silverbreath even still continued to show her that she could trust, breaking through that barrier she worked so hard to build after her brothers fateful demise.

Her own rumbling sounded in her chest as he graciously accepted the rock, surprising her as he bumped his head against hers. Wow, he was genuine. And she couldn't help but also find herself wanting to spend even more time with her new found friend.

"Of course, Silverbreath.. I.. hope to do it again with you. I appreciate you inviting me, really," she responded, a grin forming on her maw as the tension in her shoulders seemed to ease a bit. Of course, when he invited her to join him to find one for her she would nod excitedly. "No-no, I'm not busy! Id really love to join you." He of course didn't need to give her a rock, but she wasn't going to decline the offer. She didn't have any other plans anyways. And even if she did... she would probably still ignore those to join his side.

​

 

[Silverbreath]

*+:｡.｡ "Anytime, Birdie" he says sincerely, ears twitching with amusement as she bends over backward thanking him for an invite he'd readily do again. Man, insecurity really is a bitch, isn't it? He grins to himself as he mentally vows to do everything in his power to get this woman to see herself the way he sees her - a beautiful swirling cloud-stone among the typical grey pebbles!

"Then lets head out! Quick, before Lichentail catches us and sends us on the next night patrol" he purrs, crouching down before leaping forth like the kitten he was at heart, leading the way out of camp with long strides. He was a lucky man in that he didn't need to worry about how others perceived him. He had always been more of an independent kind of guy, never really inclined to settle until he found the marsh colony and had no greater incentive to leave. So he hung around long enough for it to become Riverclan, and long enough that he became a father. Before them though, all he ever needed was himself, and the friends he made along the way were fond memories he didn't mind letting the wind steal away when their paths separated.

But it was nice having roots now.
Almost always, anyway.

"Man, times like these I kinda wish Riverclan wasn't opposed to being nomadic" Silverbreath would sigh aloud as they came upon the river bend. Waiting for Lilacbird to step up beside him as he caught his breath from the run, the warrior would shake out his uselessly thin fur, "Running from the snow is how short hairs like me keep alive. I'm surprised I'm lasting this long! Brr!" he laughs exaggerating his shivers- though only marginally. It was not easy being on the thinner side pelt-wise. "Remind me again, were you always a marsh colony cat? Or did you also join up a little after it was established like myself? Ever find yourself missing your loner days?" he asked, sparing her a smile as he picked his way down to the banks.

Perhaps a tricky subject to talk about, considering the whole...Deacon and Sasha incident. But he doubted Lilacbird had an aggressive bone in her entire body - even if she did miss being a loner, she had plenty of claim as a truly loyal Riverclanner than any of them! Sides, can't a cat miss the loner life without having to be lumped into the same treacherous category as those...well, idiots, really. Damn fools...

*+:｡.｡ Updated 12/15/23

• 
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  GENERAL:
  ☮ Silverbreath
  ☮ DMAB— He/Him — Bisexual
  ☮ 35 moons — Ages 1 moon every month real-time
  ☮ Father to Carp-paw, Mentoring Goldenpaw
  ☮ Riverclan — Warrior
  
  
  
  
  
  
  COMBAT:
  ☮Physically hard | mentally hard
  ☮ Attack in bold #7d7d7d
  injuries: None currently

[/COLOR]​

 

[Lilacbird]

Birdie. That really was a cute nickname. Unfortunately, she couldn't return a nickname to the other- Silverbreath was a cool name as is though.. maybe one day she could put her head to the task. A giggle escaped her as he continued about them moving before Lichentail caught them and had them do something- that was likely for any of the leads. She had went on a patrol already today, so it wasn't as if she was being lazy.

He began bounding forward, and she would follow suit, quick on his heels. He really was showing her a lot, and there was that kitten-like energy to him that was contagious, spreading to her like wildfire. Her legs kicked up the snow, and her thoughts ran free of memories of her first snow as a mere child. Snowball fights, avalanches- all the fun kind wonders that could be made into a game. Shed slow down beside him, heart thudding in her ears, and a grin plastered on her face as she glanced over at the silver pelted warrior.

"I bet the journeying cats had so much fun travelling and seeing the sights. it sounded rough, but the stories of the span of water they saw...." It sounded beautiful, the crashing waves, the large span of endless swimming that lay out in front of them... but she would only know what it looked like from words.

Graced with a long pelt, she was able to play in the snow a lot longer than other children- to run, to play. But during the greenleaf, the heat was unbearable, the only solace being able to jump into the water and have that help soothe the rays. "Shorthairs great for greenleaf! Sometimes I wish I c-could rid of all my fur in the heat," she purred, pushing into his side a bit in hopes to spread some warmth to the tom.

"I was born in the marsh colony, so I never got to see a lot except what is here. What's it like being a loner?" she asked, curious as they pressed further to the river over the pebbles and stones on the edge. She was a rather pacifistic, and wasn't sure what to make of the situation with Sasha and Deacon. She didn't want to encounter them- to have to kill someone... She fought to defend herself and her clan. And she'd rather there be no fighting at all. "Why do you think others hate loners so much..? there's... no point, they're not the same." Her cerulean gaze fell away from Silverbreath, to the cold river reflecting the light of the day slowly coming to an end.

​