sensitive topics The deeper the sorrow, the more our hearts sing || birth

[Frostbite]

((Babies are being BORN!!!))

He had recovered from his illness and none too soon, because he could tell it was almost time. He was so round now, it had been so long... It had to be nearly time. Any day now he would either be dead, or with kittens.

He wasn't sure which scared him more.

He didn't know how to parent, what should he do? What does he teach these kits? How does he show them love when he can't even do that himself, for anyone? He wants to cry again. He wants to run away from the problem, but he can't. Said problem is inside of him.

And he won't abandon these kits. He will not do what was done to him. He tells himself this every night.

The camp was quieter at night and he was thankful for it. He laid in his nest in the nursery with only the song of the marsh at night to distract him from his thoughts. The longer the night went on, the more he got the feeling something wasn't right.

Well, it was right, just....

The sharp pain in his stomach let him know. He gave a startled gasp and he lifted his lead to look himself over. That wasn't a kick.

It happened again, and he let out a short cry of pain.

"Okay, okay... It's time." He admitted to no one as if he were being made to, like some strange game of say uncle. His teeth clenched and while he knew he needed Starlingheart, he also.... Had more important things to worry about. Like birthing. Someone else can get Starlingheart.

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The pain is more than he ever expected. He does not realize it, but there is more blood than there should be. He feels in his gut that this isn't right, but what would he know about any of this? All he knows is he feels weak, like he's dying. He can't see clearly, and he knew it. He knew his fears were justified. He knew something would go wrong.

He hates himself in this moment.

His mistake is killing him, and now these kits are going to have no parents. They'll have to live knowing they killed their father. He wishes he could will himself into making this go right.

And then with more time, he realizes the pain has subsided. He hears voices. He hears mewling, feels pressure at his stomach. It's over, he realizes. And yet, he has not the strength to lift his head. He is exhausted, and he wonders if he's still in danger of perishing.

"Are they okay....?" He asks. His voice is weak and tired.


(( @GRACEKIT. @POPPYKIT @Wolfkit @Ptarmigankit ))​

 

[Starlingheart]

It is not the first time Starlingheart has had to deliver kits, nor would it be the last. With her own under the careful watch of her dear friend Halfshade she guides Frostbite through the birth of his children. She brings him a stick to bite down on, guides him through breathing. It is all she can do. She is content to have her apprentice watch, for now. One day, it would be his turn but first she wanted him to observe, at least a couple more times before she let him handle something like this on his own. As they are born, she gestures with her tail for him to come over and passes him a kit. "Lick-lick the fur backwards to help with their breathing" she instructs him then demonstrates. When she is finished, she places the kits close to their fathers belly, guides them into place with a gentle paw.

For a moment after she hovers there, looking down on the small bundles of fur with a loving gaze. ShadowClan's nursery was certainly full, but that was good news for them. There would be more numbers in the cold moons, more cats to hunt, but it also meant more mouths to feed. She is interrupted from her thoughts by the voice of the newly made father himself and she tears her eyes away from the bundles of fur to look at him and offer a warm smile "Perfectly fine" she assures him "Will you- will you give them n-names now or-or later?" Some queens preferred to wait a little bit and that was perfectly fine.
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[GRACEPAW.]

At that current moment, she was fairly quiet, though still a mewling bundle of fluff. Just quieter, a bit more serene - unlike most other newborns. A stark contrast to what she would become in the future, but no cat had the ability to foresee the future, and StarClan wouldn't waste time delivering an omen for something so trivial.

And then, as soon as the little cream tabby, though her fur was lacking some pigment on her torso - had been licked and gently pushed towards warmth and food, she truly embraced tranquility, quickly latching on as the scent of milk became closer and suckling.

For the time being, she was nameless, but even if she had a name, she wouldn't yet know it as her world was dark and quiet. It would be all she knew for a while until her eyes and ears opened up, and she saw both how beautiful, and how cruel, the world could be.

"Speech"​

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I CRIED IN THE SHAPE OF MY DREAMS​

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[Ptarmiganpaw]

The world is suddenly....More, than it was before. There are sounds and smells, feelings... He does not care for any of it. He is comfortable and warm against the belly of who he would later register as his parent, suckling away without a care in the world.

He is round and fluffy, most of his fur an ashen gray save for his points which are a snowy white.

Everything is good in the world, for now. He doesn't know that soon, he will be able to cause problems on purpose. Maybe even not on purpose.​

 

[Frostbite]

He's relieved to hear Starlingheart say they're okay. He breathes a sigh of relief. "Thats good..."

It takes him a moment in his daze to fully acknowledge that these fuzzy little worms were inside of him. Like... They were INSIDE of him. There were living things just sitting in his body. That's so weird. That's so fucked. Nature is terrifying. But Frostbite knows that's how babies are born and he isn't disturbed for long. He hears them squealing, and he finally decides to push himself to lift his head to look at them. He immediately takes note of the ashen coats that dust their bodies. He's familiar with the condition, but has no idea what to call it.

"Ah...Their coats are gray. I suppose that's....From me being sick." He says. He feels guilty. Not that he could have done much, but still.

Looking them over, one takes his attention most. Under the ashen coat he can see the fur on her head is a familiar shade of red. Starlingheart asks if he would like to name them now, and while he was going to rest and think more on their names, he realizes he doesn't want to anymore.

"I'll name them now." He says, peering down at the kittens once more.

He pushes himself into a more upright position so that he can touch his nose to their heads. He's quiet for a moment before reaching down to gently press his nose to the head of the kit that has caught his attention from the moment he saw her. She looked just like her, didn't she. Sorrow tugs at his heart again, but he pushes it away. It has no place here.

"Poppykit...." He says, finally. "May you have the same confidence and boundless energy that she had." He adds, giving a gentle lick to the top of her head.

His gaze drifts to the round one grumbling like it's his new favorite hobby. It probably is. He knows exactly what to call this one.
"Ptarmigankit. After the birds from the mountains I lived in. May you be just as hardy as they." He says, giving him a lick on the head as well.

The next one is little. This worries him a little, but he can't help but notice how quiet she is. Serene, almost. And the cream color from what he can see reminds him of a friend. "....Gracekit," He says. "After Halfshade. May you walk with the same grace and power that she does." He finishes. He respects Halfshade. She is both strong and beautiful, and one of the few cats he trusts. She's not as dreary as the swamp she lives in, like a lotus risen from muddy waters.

The last little one looks as though they'll be mostly red, from what he can see. He watches them for a moment. He should get a strong name....

"Wolfkit." He says. "After the wolves of my home. May you be just as loyal and fierce, yet still loving, as they." He says. The wolves he followed taught him much about how a group or family should be. They were fierce predators, loyal to each other. And they showed each other such love and care that he came to admire them. Their bonds were strong, and those bonds were what carried them from day to day and assured their survival. He wasn't sure he could say the same for Shadowclan as a whole, but he certainly hoped it could become that way.

He gives each kit another gentle lick on the head.

"I will always be here for you. I will never abandon or hurt you, like I was. Your tomorrows will always be secured, and you will never face the hardships I had to to simply see another day. I promise you on my life." He vows with utmost sincerity. They WILL have a better life than he did. He will make sure of it.​

 

[.Wolfpaw]

Wolfkit's body was snuggled up to his warm giver, suckling and mewling with such contempt for cold breath of another moving near his body. He mewled more and more until he was suckling, falling asleep quickly while others gathered around to see the new members of his family.
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walk "talk." thought​

penned by helly​

 

[POPPYGLOW]

( tags ) A kitten, dusted with ash and squirming unrepentantly, entered the world with a squeal. The kitten would be greeted with the love and fear of a father and the gentle paw of a medicine cat, though they would be none the wiser. They knew not of tomorrows or destiny or of the covenant between parent and child. They only knew of warmth, and the lack thereof, and of the ache they sought to soothe by instinct alone.

The kitten was licked, and as they raised their small head to let out a squeak, as if in confirmation, it would be then that the kitten would receive her first blessing in the form of a name.

Poppykit.

⊱✿⊰

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