private the end of evangelion ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ Hawkspine

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕With his newfound freedom, Roaringsun enjoys trailing along ThunderClan's borders. Without the watchful eye of a mentor and patrolmates, he was free to just sit and watch while on his own little patrol. Life in the other Clans was intriguing to him, how much their culture differed from ThunderClan's own, even if they followed the same customs imposed by the code.

This evening his paws brought him to SkyClan's border. The sun is diving beneath the horizon as silverpelt takes over the sky. Did his fallen clanmates watch over him now? See him walk near the land that connects pine to oak, like he's searching for someone? Maybe a familiar face, or perhaps someone else for him to meet — either way, he hopes the other Clan doesn't see him as a threat ( he recalls the patrol Raccoonstripe led, crossing into SkyClan's territory to hunt ).

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc. @HAWKSPINE
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 12 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

He'd lagged behind his patrol without any particular reason. Maybe it was to do some stargazing as Silverpelt peeked between the trees, or maybe he'd just needed some time to himself before returning to camp for the night. The warrior life had brought with it a newfound freedom that Hawkspine didn't know he'd needed, the ability to linger by himself if everything was safe. He was trusted to make his own judgement now. That judgement leads him up a tree, perched comfortably on a low branch and pressed close to the trunk.

Hawkspine's ears prick upwards at the sound of rustling beneath his perch, cat-sized and alone. For a split second, the torbie expects to have stumbled upon a trespasser. But, with no leaves sticking out of auburn fur this time, a familiar muzzle emerges. Instead, Hawkspine's attention falls on-

"Roaringpaw!" His chirp of recognition is surprised, but pleased.
​

 

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕Someone calling for his name is unexpected and makes his ears perk up. He can smell SkyClan, but then again. . . it's their border, so that's not helpful. He looks left, nothing. Looks right, nothing. Looks up. . .and sees Hawkpaw staring down at him from a tree. Roaringsun stands there awestruck for a few moments, blinking like he doesn't believe it. The memory of the day he joined ThunderClan plays in his mind — getting stuck in a tree and needing help to get down. I don't think he's stuck, though. He thinks humorously.

“Roaringsun,” He corrects, a smile that is all-teeth beamed at Hawkpaw. They hadn't seen each other in a long time, and the Skyclanner hadn't been at the gathering to hear the news firsthand. “Hawkpaw! Or have you gotten your warrior name now? How have you been?” How much had been shared with SkyClan about ThunderClan's affairs the past few moons? There was a lot to catch up on. . .

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc.
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 12 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

"Roaringsun!"Hawkspine repeats in a purr, testing the name. It's nice, he determines, and fitting for the gingery tom's cheerful attitude. His presence, at least, is bright and beaming like the light-giver he'd been named for. Instead of answering the question immediately, Hawkspine carefully descends from the tree and trots over with his plumy tail high in a friendly greeting. He plops down at the border, curling his paws underneath him in hopes that Roaringsun would mirror the action for a chat. Tawny ears swivel, listening for other ThunderClanners approaching. He wouldn't have to go right away, right?

"I got my warrior name last moon but ThunderClan wasn't at the Gathering." There's a touch of petulance to his meow, ears twitching. A slightly rueful smile touches his maw, aware that neither of them really had any control over whether their leaders picked them for the Gathering. "And then I wasn't at this o... Ah! Right. My name is Hawkspine now."
​

 

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕He puffs his chest out when Hawkspine calls him by his name, clearly proud of it and how far he has come in ThunderClan. With much less grace than the Skyclanner had, Roaringsun plops down onto the ground, letting his tail brush against the grass behind him, content. Lounging like this for a while was fine, surely. Though Softsight might notice his absence and scold him later.

ThunderClan wasn't at the last gathering. He has to resist cringing at that. Skyclaw, that coward. He knew he had no chance. “Hawkspine suits you,” The tom adds quickly with a flashy grin, though his mind has been taken back to all the occurances of the past few moons. “Flamestar talked about it at the gathering, but. . .” You weren't there. He had looked, he knew. . .and the Skyclanner did just confirm it. “How much has Orangestar said about it?” If she had at all. Roaringsun figures that he would go in more detail about it had SkyClan's leader not spoken in full about the events.

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc.
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 12 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

"Mm ..." Hawkspine would be honest, he doesn't recall much from Orangestar's explanation. The night-quiet of camp had been disturbed by the news, heavy and blinding like a bad morning of fog. He scrunches his muzzle, digging around in his mind for anything relevant. Were the circumstances any different, he might feel guilty for discarding such important knowledge, but the expressions of his kin had banished anything else from his mind.

"She said that Howlingstar died. I don't remember much else- my mama Howlfire is her kin, so I was more worried about how she and Fireflyglow were reacting more than everything else that happened." His ears prick, eyes darting across ginger features. "Do you want to tell me?"

​

 

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕She said that Howlingstar died. The words rush through him like lightning. By the paws of her own clanmates, and then her own grandson. He wondered what it would've been like, had be pushed a little harder when he'd approached her with his concerns, had they not been sent to live in exile.

My mama Howlfire is her kin. Oh. Oh. He knew Howlingstar had kin in SkyClan — the children of Blazestar and Little Wolf who chose to live with their father. Roaringsun had not been aware Hawkspine was related to the former leader, too; they aren't exactly mirror images of one another. . .

His heart is heavy with guilt now. Way more than it previously was, the emotions resurfacing like a tidal wave ready to sweep him underwater. Hawkspine's grandfather was his idol ( a kittypet leader ), his great-grandmother was willing to let him join ThunderClan, he owed her everything.

“I'm sorry,” He chokes out, golden eyes darting away in what he can only describe as shame.“I'm sorry. If - if I had been there when Skyclaw. . .” When Skyclaw killed her. Would it have changed anything, or would he had been another body to bury?

Inhale, exhale. “Before Skyclaw took over fully, he and his group had been targetting cats of kittypet origin,” The extent of the harassment he doesn't elaborate on, but his tone is heavy as an indicator. “They killed three clanmates but it wasn't until one of them tried to. . . poison two kits with deathberries, Howlingstar decided to exile all former kittypets.” The new warrior explains, his tail-tip twitching uncomfortably at the memory, the announcement. “She sent us to live in the loner lands for a while. But Skyclaw. . .they didn't stop, they wanted Howlingstar gone, too. . . They killed her while we were gone. I -” Could he have done anything at all ( No, no, no. )

“I'm sorry.” They didn't get to say proper goodbyes to her, or any of their clanmates who'd died during the battle. But neither had her SkyClan kin.

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc.
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 12 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

In a rare show of attentiveness, Hawkspine is silent. The fur at his neck spikes at the choked apology, feline brow furrowing briefly. Though he remains comfortably sprawled by the border the SkyClanner's ears remain angled forward, eyes narrow with an intensity so far unseen from him. What did Roaringsun mean, that he hadn't been there when Skyclaw ... Had Skyclaw been the one to kill her in the end? He gasps when the story continues, at the admission that one of his followers had tried to poison kits. An ill feeling stirs in his gut. How could any cat ever want to poison kits? StarClan above. When the sepia finishes, Hawkspine droops in place as if a wilted flower.

"Oh, Roaringsun ..." Hawkspine was related to Howlingstar, sure, but Roaringsun had known her better than he ever would. He speaks of her fondly. Had she been more than his leader? His mentor? Hawkspine had been really young when Blazestar died. "I'm so sorry."

One thing, however, stands out to him in the story of woe. Hawkspine's tailtip twitches. It's less of an important thing to him than it might be to others, but it's a fractured piece from overall stone that he regards as necessary to know. When he begins to speak again, his tone is very carefully free of judgement: "Did you go with the day-uhhh ... former kittypets because you were standing up for them?"

Or is it because you were one?

​

 

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕His ears remain pinned to his head, eyes downcast in guilt and shame. It's not until Hawkspine mutters I'm so sorry. that he dares look up and meet his gaze. “Why. . . why are you apologizing to me?” His features twist into confusion, tail curling around his body. “She's. . . your kin, not mine.” Shouldn't his own grief come second to Hawkspine's?

Howlingstar had been so kind as to let him stay, when so many of his clanmates had wanted him to be returned to twoleg place. She had given him a chance, when no one else wanted to. And he hadn't been there to help her, to save her.

Did you go with the day-uhhh ... former kittypets because you were standing up for them? He feels a shiver run down his back ( fear, or a poorly-timed breeze? ). The Skyclanner's tone may be free of the same contempt and hatred Skyclaw and his followers had carried, but it's still a touchy subject to bring up. Would the tortoiseshell abandon him if told of his origins? SkyClan may have daylight warriors, but did all Skyclanners like them? Did Hawkspine?

He dry swallows and his lips tremble. I am safe. Roaringsun tells himself, letting it echo over and over in his mind until he believes it's true. Amber gaze meets Hawkspine's hazel glance, and it's void of any hostility in its glint. The Thunderclanner breathes heavily, praying his friend doesn't see him any differently after everything he has to stay, all he must tell.

“I went with them because I had to.” The warrior mumbles, voice beginning to crack. “I am not. . . clan-born. I was a kittypet until I — until Howlingstar let me join ThunderClan when I was six moons old.” Had she turned him away, would he have gone to any other Clans? Would he have joined SkyClan, or RiverClan? Or would he have gone back to his life as a twoleg pet?

He decides he needs to keep talking, to keep choking out sentences until it's all out of his system. “We lived there for a while before our kittypet-blooded clanmates joined us. Skyclaw had them all exiled - except his family, but Burnstorm and his kits did leave - when he took over.” He kicks dust by his paws, restless as he once again averts his gaze from Hawkspine's. “We were all there for about a moon before Flamestar had Palefire and Fallowbite fetch us. . . and when we arrived, there she led us into battle.” Roaringsun stops speaking suddenly, needing any sort of confirmation that he wasn't just speaking things to someone disinterested, as much as he wants to believe Hawkspine wouldn't be like that.

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc.
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 13 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

"She was your Clanmate." Hawkspine retorts gently, shaking his head. While Hawkspine had also lost his Clan leader before, Blazestar's final days sometime in his early apprenticeship (StarClan, had it really been that long ago?) he doesn't think he could compare his relationship with the kittypet king to his relationship with Howlingstar. Both were his kin, sure, but Hawkspine regarded his pop-pop with familiarity that he would never be able to afford ThunderClan's fallen matriarch. It's only a heartbeat before he adds, "I knew her as ThunderClan's leader. We only met a pawful of times."

Silence stretches between them for a moment. Hawkspine doesn't demand Roaringsun continue immediately, waiting patiently for an answer that he doesn't know will arrive. His eyes crinkle slightly at the corners when his peer meets them, aiming for something reassuring, and it just might have worked because with a shaky breath the ThunderClanner continues.

He was a kittypet, once. It's a weighty admission for Roaringsun however he's met with sparkling eyes from Hawkspine, the SkyClan warrior relaxing a fraction with this new knowledge. Most former kittypets were kind. A lot of SkyClan's certainly were. Howlingstar had let him join ThunderClan when he was six moons old. He doesn't remember much about that time, had buried last leafbare under cobwebs and scar tissue, and knows less about ThunderClan during it. However, if Roaringsun was barely younger than Hawkspine himself, if their warrior names were any indication ... they might have met sooner if not for the circumstances across the scent-lines.

For a fleeting moment, Hawkspine wishes that Roaringsun might have found his home in SkyClan instead.

The sentiment is immediately quashed by guilt and horror, the torbie resigning himself to never speak those selfish words aloud. He glances up as if the wish would bring the forest crashing down atop their heads, an involuntary gasp forcing air into his lungs. What a horrible thing to have thought, especially about a cat who had found his home in a different Clan. Especially after they'd had a couple of nice interactions! Especially ... when Roaringsun was right in front of him and telling his story, and ... looking at him.

Hawkspine blinks owlishly, ears burning, pinned under an amber stare once more. Desperately, his mind plays catch-up: right. Battle. A couple of ThunderClanners Hawkspine didn't know had come to fetch them after a period of time that hadn't made it into Hawkspine's short term memory. The name Burnstorm sticks out briefly, Hawkspine wondering why his mother's littermate had been mentioned, but discards that in favour of trying to form words.

"I know you ... won ..." He begins slowly, wincing at his phrasing as soon as the words leave his maw. Would there ever be a winner in a Clan conflict stirred from within itself? It was one thing to be on the right side of the Clans' history. He doesn't know how else to describe Howlingstar's death and the eventual overthrowing of Skyclaw other than a tentative meow of "But how'd ... it ... happen?"

​

 

[roaringsun]

〔✦〕Hawkspine hasn't left, yet; nor has he shown any indication he wants to. Roaringsun takes that as a good sign, and lets out a long exhale he didn't realize he'd been holding. He is. . . happy, to not be abandoned to wallow in sadness on his own. He is glad to have the tortoiseshell tabby beside him, listening to everything he needs to spill out before he breaks.

Roaringsun is not as glad to relive it during the telling, but figures it might bring some sort of closure. Might ease his worries.

But how'd ... it ... happen? The voice rings in his head until it's all he can focus on. He remembers the storm, the thunder. Yowls and hisses as cats who once called one another clanmates clawed at each other. It was all so loud, so overwhelming. And he'd been overtaken by rage once he saw Wrathpaw's pathetic form standing there on the clearing, but it wasn't about the pink-colored tabby anymore. The emotions that surge through him right now are not of hatred and wrath as he recalls the confrontation between them, but what followed. . .

“One of them tried to attack my friend, Orangepaw.” A good beginning as any, he supposes. Roaringsun feels vulnerable while speaking, and fears some SkyClan or ThunderClan patrol might appear at any moment and ruin everything; but he simply cannot shut his mouth — not now — or else he will collapse on the forest floor in a wet puddle of his own tears. “So I defended him. . . Orangepaw was already injured and I couldn't let something worse happen to him, you know?”

His legs tremble at the memory of his claws outstreched towards Sproutberry, tearing at whatever he could touch. The motivation of keeping Orangepaw safe is what had kept him going ( or was he seeking revenge? ) during their fight. And then there was blood. His own and Sproutberry's as he bit down on the chimera's throat. In the end, they bled the same; but one lived, and now the other rots.

“I. . . I killed him,” The warrior rasps, words dying in his throat as he faces his friend once again. He feels pitiful meeting his eyes, as he blinks away tears threatening to spill. “Hawkspine, I killed him. Sproutberry was his name. I - I had no choice. I — ” He trails off, and finally his legs give in and he falls onto the forest flooring. Did he really have no choice? Or had he wanted Sproutberry dead? Roaringsun can still taste the blood on his tongue, coppery and salty. “Am I just as bad as they all were?”

I took a little journey to the unknown ( Ive come back changed, I can feel it in my bones ) //

• ooc.
  
• ROARINGSUN —— warrior of thunderclan , mentor to none . npc x npc . littermate to npcs ✦ penned by nocthymia
  ✦ male / he/him / 13 moons & ages every 14ᵗʰ
  ✦ single / orientation & poly or mono / open/closed to romance
  ✦ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / underline & tag account when attacking
  —— combat details here / battle notes
  
  ✦ “speech”, 'thoughts', all opinions are in character
  ✦ tags — msg on discord (hypmic) for plots — toyhouse
  
• reference image here
  

  a longhaired flame sepia with low white and amber-brown eyes.

​

 

[HAWKSPINE]

For better or for worse, Hawkspine gives it thought.

The confession doesn't quash the gentle unfurling of friendship's wings between the SkyClanner's ribs. If anything, Hawkspine respects Roaringsun more for the admission, for sharing the unpleasant truth. Hawkspine rolls to a crouch and shuffles a pace closer before reclining once more. He won't offer Roaringsun any brush of pelts or kindly extended paws - they're too close to strangers still, and with the recent trespassing he can't take any chances - but hopefully the proximity would reassure him.

"I don't think so." He decides eventually, though uncertainty renders the verdict quiet. Hawkspine offers him the faint upwards curl of a smile, once again aiming for something calming. "They sound like rogues, not ThunderClanners. You're not a rogue, Roaringsun."

Hawkspine has experience with rogues. A small shudder runs across his shoulders. Before the other might have the chance to ask, he begins to explain:

"When my littermates and I were new apprentices last Leafbare, we were attacked. They didn't care that we were fresh from the nursery, four moons old and on our first ever border patrol. No fighting training. They thought it was funny to show no mercy." His gaze, half-blurred in a way it had been for almost four seasons now, drops to Roaringsun's paws. His teeth are grit as he concludes, "It was so bad that Blazestar proposed an entire new code."

He trails off there, attention fixed leagues below the forest floor. He'd never actually told anyone that. Obviously the two had been connected. When Hawkspine had started to spend more time awake in the wake of his injuries, he had done so with the knowledge that apprentices would now start their training two moons later. It had worked: they were a little more prepared at six moons, a little bigger and stronger and ready to start combat training immediately, but he'd also doomed them - his peers and any future apprentices - to two extra moons of confinement to camp.

The torbie shakes himself from thought, trying and failing to muster his usual friendly ease. His eyes don't quite meet Roaringsun's.

"Sorry, um- point is that you didn't do that. Wouldn't." Right? "It's one thing to defend a Clanmate, but obviously you didn't, like ... enjoy it. I don't think you're like them."​