- Jun 7, 2023
- 108
- 20
- 18
WE WERE PLAYING IN THE SAND
he can't really leave the medicine cat den– he knows. he doesn't know if he's a allowed to leave his nest or not but he definitely gets up and sits at the men's entrance. he can only hope that gentlestorm won't get upset at him for it. he's doing really good about not messing up his leg any more than it already is– and stars does it hurt like crazy. he decides not to focus on that. not now. he doesn't use his limb at all as he limps to the entrance of the den decidedly sitting outside of it. he had asked someone to bring him a rock from outside and someone did eventually– even if they thought it was an odd request. he just needed one. thundergleam had gotten him some flowers, so at least he hadn't needed to ask for those. he settles back to an awkward seated position, setting down the rock and flowers in a very specific manner.
he takes a moment before he lays down fully, exhaustion and pain taking over from having moved so much. he honestly could still be seen from gentlestorm's den, but it was a lot more moving than he's done in the half moon he's been in the den. his head rests on his front limbs, brows furrowing as he carefully reminds himself to not forget to smilebecause he was being watched, he is sure. he does not want others to fret or worry. that unusual sense of sadness hits him again as he looks at this arrangement of rock and flowers. a makeshift grave. he can't make his mom a real one but he can do this, can't he?
"i'm sorry i can't get you more flowers right now, mama, but i have so much to tell you. i-i think you'd like thunderclan, you know, so if you ever decide to return from the stars, i think i can convince howlingstar to let you join. if you want. I'm sure it's really comfortable up there. but I'd love for you to meet all my friends!! you can make some, too!"
he says quietly, as he squeezes his eyes shut. the sadness is unmistakable for those who have seen it before. but even more so... denial. it's so easy to not believe that this is the reality, espeically when he will never have closure. if he had seen her body... or if she would have told him she wasn't coming back... or if... if someone else had... if... its too much to think about. he quiets down completely, pushing his ears back. for once, he doesn't have anything to say. nothing would make this pain go away– he doesn't understand why it sticks so much.
i'm trying to still smile, mama. i really am.
he takes a moment before he lays down fully, exhaustion and pain taking over from having moved so much. he honestly could still be seen from gentlestorm's den, but it was a lot more moving than he's done in the half moon he's been in the den. his head rests on his front limbs, brows furrowing as he carefully reminds himself to not forget to smile
"i'm sorry i can't get you more flowers right now, mama, but i have so much to tell you. i-i think you'd like thunderclan, you know, so if you ever decide to return from the stars, i think i can convince howlingstar to let you join. if you want. I'm sure it's really comfortable up there. but I'd love for you to meet all my friends!! you can make some, too!"
he says quietly, as he squeezes his eyes shut. the sadness is unmistakable for those who have seen it before. but even more so... denial. it's so easy to not believe that this is the reality, espeically when he will never have closure. if he had seen her body... or if she would have told him she wasn't coming back... or if... if someone else had... if... its too much to think about. he quiets down completely, pushing his ears back. for once, he doesn't have anything to say. nothing would make this pain go away– he doesn't understand why it sticks so much.
i'm trying to still smile, mama. i really am.