private THE GLASS DELUSION [✦] beekit

[CICADAFLIGHT]

✦₊ ⊹—— he is curled beneath the nodding heads of ferns that occasionally shower him with dew when a greenleaf breeze blows through them. it's dark beneath the ferns, shaded in green, pleasantly cool and dim; everything the bright, loud camp center is not. it smells only of clean leaves and water and wind, not the assaulting mishmash of scents that strike his nose like a blow whenever he dares venture out onto the sandy earth. at first he would retreat to the willow den, smelling like the last of milk and warmth and safety, but that has been ruined for him in an intruding star-marked face and a harsh clawless slap. he merely gazes at it longingly from his shadowy new home, curling knob-jointed limbs close in a tangle.

his bent tail is a drumbeat against the earth, a tangled tuft of curls capping its end as he tucks a white-edged chin into the hollow between his large paws, tented shoulder-bones shifting under his skin like wings with the movement. he wants to go back to the water, the coolness that washes away all thought, but he cannot—not without his father or his pa to supervise, and they're elsewhere entirely. besides, cicadakit knows they're important cats (the vaguest grasp of it), that he ought not to bother them as they go about their duties every day. distantly he can see a roving group of kits at play, and while part of him itches to join the pack, he doesn't stir from his tired coil of bones.

I AM GOD (✦) 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝒀𝑬𝑫

• ooc: @BEEKIT !!
  
• disclaimer: it's important to note that cicadakit is not always in a stable state of mind. his view of the world may not always be accurate to objective reality, which may include seeing things that are not genuinely there, reading motivations or thoughts from actions that are not actually implied, and making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. this is not an attempt at metagaming, powerplaying, or mischaracterization, and is not legitimately true or correct to reality or what your characters actually think or believe.
  
  it will always be noted in the post if he is seeing something that isn't actually there. all opinions & thoughts are ic only and do not reflect my thoughts and opinions as a writer.
• 
  — cicadakit
  — he/him ; kit of riverclan ; 2 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by dejavu
  

​

 

[BEEFANG]

( ) Beekit had been rather busy, she had been spending quite a bit of time with Sablepaw and the older cats instead of the very energetic kitten group that normally caught her attention. She was learning so much and it made her quite eager, she could only imagine how much more she could possibly learn once she became an apprentice. The dark molly adorned by an orange flower while a small clump of them was grasped safely within her jaws, her fiery and icey eyes surveying the camp for any sign of her littermates. She can't help but frown through her bundle when she discovers that Cicadakit isn't in his usual spot within the willow den or even Starlightkit and they made their presence known a lot of the time. It doesn't take long for her to spot a small, lanky body taking refuge within the ferns and she trots forward with her usual cheery gait.

The dark furred molly drops the bundles of flowers near Cicadakit's bent tail and would notice him looking over in the direction of a group of kittens that seemed to be tussling about. She tilts her head to the side and asks with a small smile "Do you want to go play with them? We can go together if you want," She adds knowing that Cicadakit trailed after her or Starlightkit a majority of the time and she scrunches up her nose in thought "But only if you want to... I'll follow you." Maybe her brother would feel better about being the first to head over and then she could make sure that nobody stepped on his tail, it seemed like a good idea.

She nearly forgets why she approached him and suddenly her fur bristles in excitement as she remembers bringing the flowers near with mismatched paws "Oh! Look what Sablepaw let me have! I thought you might like one but I didn't know what color you wanted... I have blue, orange, and red! We could match-" Beekit motions to the orange flower that's nestled behind her ear, tail, and few petals scattered on her pelt "Or you can pick whichever one you want, I'm sure either would look nice on you." She pauses before nudging the flowers over to Cicadakit and tucks her front limbs closer to herself, Beekit watches him for a heartbeat or two before realizing that it was odd that he had taken refuge amongst the herbs than retreat to their willow den.

Her smile falters and a frown completely forms on her maw, Beekit speaking in a lower voice "Are you okay, Cada?" Her words are gentle, she would've expected him to be in the den or with her fathers or even Starlightkit, not alone. Maybe he liked being alone? Personally, she enjoyed the company of her family or friends but... It's odd but its Cicadakit whose anything but ordinary and just looking at the duo... They were different in size and shape even in personality too. Her mouth closes deciding not to utter another word in case she had just interrupted Cicadakit's solitude, a single snowy paw messing with one of the petals of the flowers. ​

( KILL EM WITH THE MOJO ; CINEMATIC SLO-MO )

 

[CICADAFLIGHT]

✦₊ ⊹—— his tired slumping is interrupted by the sound of cheerful pawsteps and a glance upwards between drifting curls reveals it to be his sister. she looks a little like a fluffier, more friendly (more lovable, perhaps) version of himself—her face is more rounded like smokethroat's as opposed to his own jutting cheekbones and drooping ears. her pelt is soft and fuzzy and dense instead of his unwashed mess, her eyes bright where his are dull, her tail a fluffy bottlebrush where his is a twisted tuft that hangs too long. still, their shared parentage is revealed in the broken black and white colors of their fur and their split-toned eyes; though beekit's align closer to a bright river-blue and warm fire orange, where his are a too-icy salt and dull burning amber.

still, his sharp face softens as she approaches, gaze following his towards the playing group of kittens. starlightkit pushes him too far, too fast, pulling at his thin fur and dragging him when they want to play; beekit, though, only smiles and softly invites and brings him flowers. his tufted ears burn at the memory of his harsh slap across his other sibling's face, of how the world had seemed to shatter and fall to the ground at that very moment; the moment it felt like kithood bliss ended, though of course he was still a kit (for now, not long left). he can feel the familiar ache in his jaw, the old friend of thorns catching in his throat and his ribs squeezing around his lungs until they ease up as he eyes his sister. she's not starlightkit - she's not, she's beekit, beekit who doesn't make him do things.

"maybe," he murmurs, nestling his head close against his paws, gaze flicking to the sandy earth and away from his sister's own. he loves his family, loves his sister, but he can't seem to say it in a way that matters. he can't seem to get up, to make himself run forward as easily as breathing (but is even that so easy?) and join the game, smile and laugh and make friends and do what he is supposed to. instead he remains in his graceless tangle, gaze wary of being made to do these things, pulled forward as though claws are hooked in his chest and forced to play. he reminds himself again - she is not starlightkit, she isn't - but the knowledge feels hollow. he knows how he feels, knows what would be so easy to say, but he just can't; the words snag in his jaws like weapons.

a cracked smile makes its way onto his face despite himself at her excited words, looking towards the piled flowers she's brought. some way or another, he's ended up adorning himself with wings instead, luna-moths nestling behind his ears like a second stare. the flowers are not exactly his thing—he has never really understood riverclan's tradition of beauty, ugly and bent thing he is, but they are still pretty and his sister has brought them for him. he pulls himself half-upright and grasps an orange one, pressing it into the mussed curls at the base of his spine where it sprouts like a second amber eye. the inky tom-kit nods his gratitude and manages a rasping mew, "thanks, bee. they're pretty."

characteristically, his sister finds the sore point, the cloud hanging over his mood immediately. beekit is one of the few cats who seems able to see into the fog of his head and pluck out the issue or some semblance of it, one of the only cats who seems able to leave him alone when he wants it and talk to him when he wants it. her question reminds him of why he no longer takes refuge in the willow den; one moment and a slap without claws had put paid to that, a consequence real or (more likely) imagined. finally he mews, voice cracked and unhappy, "i - i hit starlight. they wanted me to come out of the den and play, and i just, i - i don't know. i don't know." his voice dips sad and scraping, undercurrents of madness running dangerous beneath it as he rasps, "i don't know. i knew it was bad but i just, it was - it was like i was watching from outside and i couldn't stop me from doing it."

I AM GOD (✦) 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝒀𝑬𝑫

• ooc: SO LATE SORRY !!!
  
• disclaimer: it's important to note that cicadakit is not always in a stable state of mind. his view of the world may not always be accurate to objective reality, which may include seeing things that are not genuinely there, reading motivations or thoughts from actions that are not actually implied, and making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. this is not an attempt at metagaming, powerplaying, or mischaracterization, and is not legitimately true or correct to reality or what your characters actually think or believe.
  
  it will always be noted in the post if he is seeing something that isn't actually there. all opinions & thoughts are ic only and do not reflect my thoughts and opinions as a writer.
• 
  — cicadakit
  — he/him ; kit of riverclan ; 2 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by dejavu
  

​

 

[BEEFANG]

₊· ͟͟͞͞➳˚❥"Maybe."

His answer to her inquiry of joining the other kittens to play does not dishearten her, no, not in the least but she can appreciate that Cicadakit is honest with her and simply nods with a gentle smile present on her round face "That's fine. It's a lot better being able to spend time with you anyways," Her words true and genuine as they slip from milkteeth jaws, if she had to pick which cat to spend time with then her answer would always be her younger littermate. He may be the troubled middle child that does not often speak but when he does, Beekit always makes sure to listen to his words and she cares quite a lot for him perhaps it's the fact that she's the eldest with the desire to protect those dear to her or even the fact that even if she and Cicadakit were awfully different from one another they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. This sibling bond dear to the river kingsbloods forged at the beginning and it didn't seem like they'd fall apart anytime soon.

Seeing a smile form on her littermates face was definitely something that made her happy and the sight of it alone made her own smile grow. She's practically beaming when he reaches forward to pluck up an orange flower, Beekit humming quietly "Good choice," It was a little biased since she had her own orange flower and petals littered on her curly coat, she's simply pleased that they could wear the very same flowers together but even if Cicadakit doesn't keep the flowers themselves she will not mind in the least. She knows that her side of the nest is practically littered with petals and a few flowers that she hadn't accidentally crushed while rolling in her sleep mainly due to either of her fathers limbs moving out from underneath her or her littermates.

"You're welcome, Cada. You look very lovely with them," A nod of approval from her and well, her roadkill of a deer brother is far from lovely but she believes that anyone else opinion doesn't matter. Why would she care what others think? The thought itself makes the bridge of her snout begin to crease lightly though she focuses on her littermate as he begins to speak about why he wasn't in the safety of the willow den, her bat-like ears perking up and her expression softens. A frown forming and tugging at the edges of her mouth when he reveals that he had hit Starlightkit and explains that their sibling had been a little pushy in wanting him to come out and play. Their star named sibling had always been the more bossy and more demanding of the triplets, she has to admit that she oftentimes leaves the den before they wake to prod her from her slumber.

Beekit uses a snowy paw to lay atop of Cicadakit's and her gaze unwavering as she speaks to him in a low voice "It's alright... I understand," The smoke molly decides to begin with trying to find the right words to use and can't help but glance over her shoulder to make sure that Starlightkit hadn't come out stomping after their brother for a clawless slap yet she wishes that her siblings hadn't had such a disagreement. She's aware that her family isn't perfect there's bound to be cracks and crevices where flaws would seep out without even a warnings notice. She breathes in quietly and continues "I'm sure... Starlight would forgive you if you apologize but... It isn't right of them to push you either."

It's true on what she says, if someone tried forcing her to go out and play, she likely would've had the same reaction as Cicadakit or possibly become snappy with the youngest of their litter. It's not a thought that she lingers on for long, she has yet to show such anger and it worries her. Beekit recalls that morning that her littermates had stirred due to Cicadastar's outraged shouting and she knows that Smokethroat isn't one to hide any part of his own explosive personality traits. She ponders for a heartbeat... Does she has her fathers wrath and the explosiveness of her other parent? It makes her shudder briefly and she hopes that if she does possess it, Starclan keep it at bay and at slumber.

"Tell you what... If Starlight bothers you again just call for me and I'll be there to tell em to stop then that way and maybe it won't happen again. Either way..." She trails off trying to find the words that she wants to use while speaking with her littermate, ears laying flat against her skull as she does so. Nonexistent eyebrows creasing in frustration when the words don't form in her mind and she snorts with a shake of her head "Okay?" Another smile is offered and she slowly returns her snowy paw to her side trying to figure out what she could offer to Cicadakit. She recalls the little bugs that glowed in the night and it sparks up an idea.

She casts her brother a look "Do you want to hangout here until the fireflies come out? We could watch or chase them if you'd like." Her bottlebrush tail curling at her side as she awaits his answer. They could relax and breathe, they needn't worry about the responsibility of being an apprentice being weighed with expectations. They could be kittens and simply watch the bugs bring light forth into the darkness, watch with owl-sized eyes in wonderment. The river princess tilts her head to the side sweetly and adds "They sorta look like stars but if they were bugs... It's very pretty but they're hard to catch. Believe me, I tried!" She can't help but let out a soft giggle as she tells her littermate about the fireflies. She wishes to catch one and hold it in her paws just as Willowroot had. ​

[ KILL EM WITH THE MOJO, CINEMATIC SLO-MO ]​

 

[CICADAFLIGHT]

✦₊ ⊹—— "okay," he rasps, resting his head against his paws, hoping to soothe the bone-deep ache settling into his jawbones. it's hard to believe, hard to understand why beekit thinks he's better company than the other kittens. the other kittens are bright where cicadakit is dull, sweet where he is bitter, rounded where he is sharp; he knows, an awareness born with him, that he is not these things, that he is a problem. he spends far too much time hiding under ferns and drowning in his own mind, and she shouldn't have to join him. deep bicolor eyes settle on his sister and the boy curls unhappily against himself, murmuring, "you don't have to, you know."

"stay with me," he clarifies after a pause, offering the barest trace of a smile that wilts quickly in return to her comment on the flowers. the boy sighs, releasing a low torrent of words, "i know i'm not - not always fun. i'm sorry."

"at least we match now, kind of," he comments, rising and turning to look at the orange flower pressed into the base of his spine despite the thorns that choke his throat and lungs with each hard-bitten word. lovely. it's laughable, really, he knows: riverclan is a place of beauty and he is not a thing of beauty. he is a creature of barbed eyes, jutting vertebra, tangled curls, the furthest thing from the dripping warriors with their silken pelts. he is bug-eyed and deer-legged, rabbit-eared and corpse-thin, a patchwork of anything except for a cat. he doesn't understand, really, why his siblings look so normal and his father possesses the same long limbs and sloped muzzle but differently somehow. different in a way that makes them all more palatable than him.

their paws are joined, her white paw laid over his own and he blinks at her. most of the time, he shuns touch, but he doesn't mind it as much when it comes from his family. her tone is low and her words soothing, but he still can't bring himself to believe her. starlightkit is the kit who goes and plays, who is star-blessed, who surely only wants the best for him, like everyone apparently does. cicadakit being in the right is not an option and it never has been, and he shakes his head even as he replies once more, "okay."

"i will," he promises lowly, his brow knotting with the emotion choking his throat and closing his thin ribs shut around his heart. the boy nods in reply, eyes shining with gratitude for his sister's offer as she curls her bottlebrush tail and his own bent one taps the earth. for just a moment, he can push away starlightkit and his fathers' dark eyes and the looming monster of apprenticeship and watch the fireflies with his sister, mewing quietly, "okay. i wanna see the star-bugs, too."

I AM GOD (✦) 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑰 𝑵𝑬𝑬𝑫 𝑻𝑶 𝑩𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑺𝑻𝑹𝑶𝒀𝑬𝑫

• ooc: ——
  
• disclaimer: it's important to note that cicadakit is not always in a stable state of mind. his view of the world may not always be accurate to objective reality, which may include seeing things that are not genuinely there, reading motivations or thoughts from actions that are not actually implied, and making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. this is not an attempt at metagaming, powerplaying, or mischaracterization, and is not legitimately true or correct to reality or what your characters actually think or believe.
  
  it will always be noted in the post if he is seeing something that isn't actually there. all opinions & thoughts are ic only and do not reflect my thoughts and opinions as a writer.
• 
  — cicadakit
  — he/him ; kit of riverclan ; 3 ☾s
  — "speech" ; thoughts ; attacks
  — penned by dejavu
  

​

 

[BEEFANG]

₊· ͟͟͞͞➳˚❥ "Okay." A word that slips from the maw of her brother constantly but Beekit doesn't mind it in the slightest knowing that her younger littermate isn't one for talking much and she enjoys the simplicity and to the point his responses tend to be in comparison to other cats. She can feel her smile falter just the slightest when he mentions how she didn't need to spend time with him and she tilts her head to the side for a heartbeat or two before speaking with a more gentler smile tugging at the edges of her mouth "I know but I want to." And she truly means it, not only is Cicadakit her brother but basically one of her best friends, someone who she can trust and she's sure that he feels the same way about her too. What he says next only confirms it and she nods agreeing that she would stay with him, she can't help but snort at the next words that tumble out from his mouth "You don't have to apologize, Cada. You're plenty of fun when you want to play mossball with me and it's fine if you don't always want to play. This. This is fine," She begins to reassure him, she doesn't mind sitting or laying about like they were right now, it was nice even if a little odd for a kitten of such high energy like Beekit.

"Yes, we do. Maybe I'll find a moth or butterfly wings like you, they're a really nice touch." She says with a soft hum beginning to imagine insects in her mind and ponders if she has seen any while she oftentimes toddled about in camp, her whiskers twitching at the thought of orange butterfly wings to match with the flower and petals that were scattered all over her coat. Maybe she would find one during one of her apprentice escapades when the time finally came, she holds in her breath for a moment that the time would come soon where they were all given to mentors and become trained to be respectable, formidable warriors in Riverclan. She wonders how she and her littermates would be as warriors but doesn't dwell on the thought for long, perhaps she should be enjoying the present and now then dwelling on thoughts that wouldn't occur until much later.

She let's out a low breath focusing her mismatched gaze on Cicadakit watching as he shook his head to what she had said about Starlightkit only to say "Okay" once more. Beekit can only hope that this doesn't continue to be an issue between her brother and their star blessed sibling, as a family they should be tightknit or united but she knows that isn't the case oftentimes for families. He mentions that he will and that's enough to ease her little heart, her smile growing big and wide his response to the fireflies. She decides to scoot a little closer to him with a small nod "Maybe when we're apprentices we'll be able to catch one and hold them in our paws." She muses quietly to him watching as the world around them became a little dark as the sun began to hide away making room for the moon and it wasn't long until the fireflies came out to share their light.

Tonight it would just be them and the star-bugs...

𓆟. ° .• . THERE MIGHT BE NOTHING LEFT TO SAY

• 
  ❥ 3 moons old
  ❥ riverclan apprentice
  ❥ sexuality unknown; single
  ❥ daughter of smokethroat & cicadastar
  ❥ "speech", thoughts, attacking
  ❥ peaceful powerplay allowed
  ❥ penned by bosstaurus

​