- Mar 14, 2024
- 56
- 16
- 8
[ pls wait for @adderpaw or @HAWKSPINE :3 ]
When she wakes, the sun is at its peak. It doesn't feel that way, for the air remains cold with the sudden unseasonable chill, but there it is. Undeniably it hangs in the clouded sky, taunting her for her previous failure of a night. Promising her another one, should she be tempted by the moon that follows. Spicepurr grimaces as she peers out of the warrior's den, only tempted by the notion that she may be able to sleep longer if she just shut her eyes once more -
Alas, she cannot be productive with her paws slack and lazy. What point is there to a Clancat who doesn't hunt, doesn't patrol? She feels less like a SkyClanner every day, admittedly, but she is sewn into their Clan with the careful dexterity of a twoleg. She is here for Edenberry, the sibling she adores and bleeds for. She is here for Hawkspine, who... is kind to her. He's kind enough, in fact, to lend her his nest and take on one of her patrols so that she can rest.
She briefly tucks her nose back into the moss and feathers, briefly finds his scent beneath the light layer of her own. It hurts - she doesn't understand why it hurts.
Spicepurr thinks of her encounters with the tom as of late. He always finds her when she returns to SkyClan, be it with other daylighters or on her own. He sends her off with the same jovial nature, if not... saddened by the distance. (She's sad, too. Or maybe it's always been her own, and he simply mirrored it for her sake. Would it be so wrong to believe others are liars, too? That in this world she's created, she is not alone in her struggles? Is that what she wants?) Sometimes - she jolts from her thoughts, stands from the nest - sometimes he'll chatter on about the new bird he's caught, and which one certainly carried him further in flight.
He's more than kind. He's more than she deserves.
Yet Spicepurr cannot leave the warmth of the warrior's den so quickly. She must, for certainly an elder warrior will chew her out for skipping her secondary duties of the day - but she gives pause for a moment. Her hat rests beside the nest, falsely made greenery wreathing around the base. It's a quick decision she makes. To break one of the fake leaves and tuck it into his bedding. A prank, she would call it if he got upset. A hope, she finds, but cannot place the words yet.
Fate would have her leaving the warrior's den just as her friend returns from his patrol. And all at once, everything clicks into place again. It's like a moon ago, when she freshly had her name, when she nearly spilled her heart for him - but chose honesty over herself (or was it honesty for herself? Spicepurr cannot untangle the threads of her thinking. They knot too easily even without the playful kitten in her heart toying with it.) They've spent good time together since then, time finding his sister time and time again - and it's the same startling realization every time. It's... as if she learns something about herself nearly every time she sees him.
He approaches, and her maw parts - like she's going to tell him, finally, how she feels. Like she has a firm hold on herself, whilst everything makes sense. Her dull eyes glimmer for once and she approaches him on equally paced, but perhaps too quick paws, and -
Perhaps the sun had been in her eyes. She bumps directly into Adderpaw, and her entire parade of understanding and excitement crashes into itself. Her paws fumble as she trips, catching herself awkwardly. Dimming eyes wince with the way one of her wrists twist, but as she rights herself again, she ignores it. A glance to Hawkspine, and though everything is still there, it is locked up again. Her heart is no different than a puzzle shaken up in its box. Even if she did have the words still... she isn't sure she'd be able to tell him after this.
"Hey," she squeaks, and then coughs to settle the roughness in her throat. Her eyebrows pinch together with mild concern, "I'm sorry, Adderpaw. I wasn't... I wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?"
When she wakes, the sun is at its peak. It doesn't feel that way, for the air remains cold with the sudden unseasonable chill, but there it is. Undeniably it hangs in the clouded sky, taunting her for her previous failure of a night. Promising her another one, should she be tempted by the moon that follows. Spicepurr grimaces as she peers out of the warrior's den, only tempted by the notion that she may be able to sleep longer if she just shut her eyes once more -
Alas, she cannot be productive with her paws slack and lazy. What point is there to a Clancat who doesn't hunt, doesn't patrol? She feels less like a SkyClanner every day, admittedly, but she is sewn into their Clan with the careful dexterity of a twoleg. She is here for Edenberry, the sibling she adores and bleeds for. She is here for Hawkspine, who... is kind to her. He's kind enough, in fact, to lend her his nest and take on one of her patrols so that she can rest.
She briefly tucks her nose back into the moss and feathers, briefly finds his scent beneath the light layer of her own. It hurts - she doesn't understand why it hurts.
Spicepurr thinks of her encounters with the tom as of late. He always finds her when she returns to SkyClan, be it with other daylighters or on her own. He sends her off with the same jovial nature, if not... saddened by the distance. (She's sad, too. Or maybe it's always been her own, and he simply mirrored it for her sake. Would it be so wrong to believe others are liars, too? That in this world she's created, she is not alone in her struggles? Is that what she wants?) Sometimes - she jolts from her thoughts, stands from the nest - sometimes he'll chatter on about the new bird he's caught, and which one certainly carried him further in flight.
He's more than kind. He's more than she deserves.
Yet Spicepurr cannot leave the warmth of the warrior's den so quickly. She must, for certainly an elder warrior will chew her out for skipping her secondary duties of the day - but she gives pause for a moment. Her hat rests beside the nest, falsely made greenery wreathing around the base. It's a quick decision she makes. To break one of the fake leaves and tuck it into his bedding. A prank, she would call it if he got upset. A hope, she finds, but cannot place the words yet.
Fate would have her leaving the warrior's den just as her friend returns from his patrol. And all at once, everything clicks into place again. It's like a moon ago, when she freshly had her name, when she nearly spilled her heart for him - but chose honesty over herself (or was it honesty for herself? Spicepurr cannot untangle the threads of her thinking. They knot too easily even without the playful kitten in her heart toying with it.) They've spent good time together since then, time finding his sister time and time again - and it's the same startling realization every time. It's... as if she learns something about herself nearly every time she sees him.
He approaches, and her maw parts - like she's going to tell him, finally, how she feels. Like she has a firm hold on herself, whilst everything makes sense. Her dull eyes glimmer for once and she approaches him on equally paced, but perhaps too quick paws, and -
Perhaps the sun had been in her eyes. She bumps directly into Adderpaw, and her entire parade of understanding and excitement crashes into itself. Her paws fumble as she trips, catching herself awkwardly. Dimming eyes wince with the way one of her wrists twist, but as she rights herself again, she ignores it. A glance to Hawkspine, and though everything is still there, it is locked up again. Her heart is no different than a puzzle shaken up in its box. Even if she did have the words still... she isn't sure she'd be able to tell him after this.
"Hey," she squeaks, and then coughs to settle the roughness in her throat. Her eyebrows pinch together with mild concern, "I'm sorry, Adderpaw. I wasn't... I wasn't paying attention. Are you okay?"
