private THE HEART OF THINGS [ ✦ ] sharpshadow

[Halfsun]

Smogmaw is not how she had expected him to be. But that wasn’t really fair of her was it? The father in her dreams is tall, he’s handsome and he’s kind and brave and so many things that she is not entirely certain she sees in Smogmaw, not yet at least. For so long she had built up a fantastical version of him in her head and now the real thing was in front of her and she felt… overwhelmed. Here was this complete stranger who loved her more than anything else in the world, this stranger who she had been dreaming about for the first two months of her life but who had no idea she even existed until he had returned from that far away journey he had been on. What’s more is his apprentice. Sharpshadow. The midnight pelted warrior was an enigma to her. She knows she had been trained by the paws of her father - knows that she had been on the journey, been present at her return from WindClan, but past these simple facts her knowledge stopped.

She intended to rectify that.

When she sees the newly minted warrior with a spare moment she does not waste time. She plods forward on socked feet, her mismatched blue eyes settled firmly on her target. "Hey! Hello! Hi!" she says as she approaches, a smile on her face. "So you’re the Sharpshadow huh?" she asks like she doesn’t already know, gaze flickering as she looked her over, as if assessing something. "Why were you held back so long? Was my dad not a good teacher?" and there it is. Right for the kill she goes, but in a fashion that is typical for a kit she doesn’t understand why her prying question may not be the best to lead with and she blinks innocently up at the older feline, waiting for an answer.

// @SHARPSHADOW

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[SHARPSHADOW]

It's sort of uncanny valley. Or maybe she was allowed to say that it's more than sort of, when one of the kits they had all been losing their minds over being missing is suddenly dropped in front of her, squawking out a hyper greeting as if he knew her. Sharpshadow stares at her as if she were some new - and - unusual bug Smogmaw had dragged back to camp, and essentially, she kind of was. The real question is why said bug wanted to talk to her, at all.

She somehow manages a wide grin, evern though the amount of things to grin about in ShadowClan is at an all - time low. " Hi, " Sharpshadow replies, a bit dumbfounded. So you’re the Sharpshadow huh? A bit dumbfounded is more like completely stupified now. There's a prickle along his spine. Why was she talking as if other cats talked about him? Did other cats talk about him? He didn't want to be a nobody, but he's never wanted to be a fool, either. Was it Smogmaw? Amidst all of the heartfelt father - daughter bondings and I - missed - you's that were surely due, why would he ever make the time to talk about him? ( Was he saying good things, at least? )

The open confusion in his eyes is probably visible to anyone that wasn't a hyperactive, nonsense kitten. She supposes she should be thankful for her audience, but she feels like she's being judged anyway.

Point: how the hell is she meant to respond to that? She opts for keeping her mouth shut, only because whatever she could possibly say would probably sound an awful lot like uh... and that sort of reply was hardly becoming of a warrior.

And— wow. Halfkit gets right into the thick of it. Sharpshadow is already clenching his jaw. Immediately, he would like to tell her that no, Smogmaw was not, but who knew how much of this conversation would get back to him? A silver gaze flickers to the brambles surrounding camp, as if she'd find glowing sienna eyes nestled within the very walls of camp. What can he say that a kit would understand?

Well, he had not been talked to like a child when he was one. Why did Halfkit deserve something so demeaning?

( Was the problem truly explaining it to a kit, or was it explaining it at all? )

" I wasn't a good hunter, or a good fighter. It took longer to teach me. " she tells her. And was Smogmaw a bad teacher? What were the odds, that both of her mentors had been bad ones? In ShadowClan, maybe they weren't too low, but... " Sometimes you're just bad at things, " she finishes lamely.

with myself i must play in this game of charades ( ♱ ) cause there's no one to speak to

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• ( OF THE THINGS I'VE GOT IN MY BRAIN ) SHARPSHADOW: Formerly mentored by Smogmaw
  ♱ he / she , no pref , dislikes gender neutral language ; fine with gendered terms
  ♱ currently 17 moons old as of 11.12.23 / ages every 8th
  
  

  dark smoke feline that stands at an above average height. Easily identifiable by her namesake – an unruly mat of fur, destined to be cluttered by inconsistencies between chimera halves. Burdened with a broken tail, often lying dead behind her in the dirt.

  
  Anxious, antisocial, paranoid. Sharpshadow has not known peace for a single time in his life, and lives anticipating inevitable dangers to the detriment of herself and others. —scraping together some higher purpose— making somewhat of an effort to be " likeable "
  heavy ic opinions! he's irrational and mean </3

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